a rite of passage
Borat: Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
Driving Instructor: No, no, no, no, no, no!
Borat: A-why not?
Driving Instructor: Because a woman has the right to choose who she has sex with.
Borat: WHAT...? You joke?
Driving Instructor: It must be consensual. How 'bout that?
Borat: [turns to Instructor, pauses] Ahahahahaha!
Driving Instructor: That's good, huh?
Borat: [pause] Is not good for me.
From Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit of Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
~
Last night I was awoken at 3 AM by the rhythmic humping of my next door neighbor. Now, we all know how I get when I'm awoken in the middle of the night. I find a cockroach on my chest, throw it off, sit up and go 'meh'. It's only after I wake up that I realize I should have cared a lot more about what was sitting on my chest that I picked up with my BARE HANDS and then went right back to sleep. And it was only about ten minutes after I woke up this morning that I realized I really should have cared that singing guy or one of his roommates had a girl over and was proceeding to do her very loudly. Our freshman year in the dorms, my friend Kate would complain frequently about the girls on both sides of her room who would have sex, loudly. Once, they were even doing it at the same time. I always thought this was extremely amusing; I'd never heard anyone having sex before.
And then last night, I was pulled ever so rudely out of my beautiful slumber. And this is a tough thing to do, people. I once slept through a hurricane; my roommates couldn't wake me up if they tried. Those two were GOING AT IT. I wasn't really sure what was going on, my brain was so sleep befuddled. But I kind of got the picture when the moaning started up, especially as it seemed to be in time with the banging that was happening against the back of my head. I really wish that I had been in a state where it would have been possible for me to care and find it amusing, instead of what actually happened, which was me realizing about the sex, rolling over and falling immediately back to sleep. What can I say? It's a gift.
At least it wasn't a cockroach this time.
Driving Instructor: No, no, no, no, no, no!
Borat: A-why not?
Driving Instructor: Because a woman has the right to choose who she has sex with.
Borat: WHAT...? You joke?
Driving Instructor: It must be consensual. How 'bout that?
Borat: [turns to Instructor, pauses] Ahahahahaha!
Driving Instructor: That's good, huh?
Borat: [pause] Is not good for me.
From Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit of Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
~
Last night I was awoken at 3 AM by the rhythmic humping of my next door neighbor. Now, we all know how I get when I'm awoken in the middle of the night. I find a cockroach on my chest, throw it off, sit up and go 'meh'. It's only after I wake up that I realize I should have cared a lot more about what was sitting on my chest that I picked up with my BARE HANDS and then went right back to sleep. And it was only about ten minutes after I woke up this morning that I realized I really should have cared that singing guy or one of his roommates had a girl over and was proceeding to do her very loudly. Our freshman year in the dorms, my friend Kate would complain frequently about the girls on both sides of her room who would have sex, loudly. Once, they were even doing it at the same time. I always thought this was extremely amusing; I'd never heard anyone having sex before.
And then last night, I was pulled ever so rudely out of my beautiful slumber. And this is a tough thing to do, people. I once slept through a hurricane; my roommates couldn't wake me up if they tried. Those two were GOING AT IT. I wasn't really sure what was going on, my brain was so sleep befuddled. But I kind of got the picture when the moaning started up, especially as it seemed to be in time with the banging that was happening against the back of my head. I really wish that I had been in a state where it would have been possible for me to care and find it amusing, instead of what actually happened, which was me realizing about the sex, rolling over and falling immediately back to sleep. What can I say? It's a gift.
At least it wasn't a cockroach this time.