lunch
i had to go eat lunch at this fish house with my mom sisters grandmother and godmother... and i didnt want to eat... im not hungry... im never hungry... but i had to order something... i didnt finish it... and i wanted to cry... cuz they were all staring at me... and i feel like bleeding when they look at me like that... i feel like crawling into a whole and dieing... and im so emo and dramatic... and i wanna see ross real bad... i dont wanna go to school... they stare at me there to... and i just wanna cry cry cry... and i wonder... wonder... and fantasize about when i can leave this fucking place... and leave them all behind... just start a whole new life with a whole new name... i like the name Psyche... i really do... but she was supposed to be this incredible beauty... and people worshipped her like a god... and who to hell woudl think im beautiful... except for ross... he makes me feel like i am... ::looks down at hands:: my fingers feel numb with cold... and my toes... i want a cigarette...