So I wrote something weird.
This is my first post here, I think. Just throwing that out there. Anyway, I have this bad habit of opening Word and typing whatever pops into my head; no planning whatsoever. I did that earlier today, and what became of it was a bit... well, special, for lack of a better word. Figured I'd share.
Julian had to make a choice. She put so much pressure on him.
His eyes scanned the room and caught Alexandrea's before raking down her body, taking in every curve accentuated by the tight black cocktail dress. It matched her hair perfectly, as her clothes often do. Smooth, dark, and short. She does these things to torture him.
She smiled as she wove her way through the thrashing bodies, moving toward him.
"Can you believe how dull this is?" she asked, leaning in to be heard over the pounding bass. Julian rolled his eyes. He could believe it, and so could she. She had told him over the phone not an hour ago. When Julian didn't answer, Alexandrea pouted, sticking out the full bottom lip that he wanted to cover in bite marks. Grabbing his hand, she pulled him onto the patio and shooed away the couples there. Once they were alone she drew herself to sit on the railing and kicked her bare feet over the edge, admired the topiary below.
"Oh, speaking of, I got a postcard," she said, as if they had been on the subject. "Mary's in India now. With Danny. He followed her after all." Twisting her neck to study Julian's reaction, she found his eyes unfocused, staring into the distance. She leaned back to grab the Marlboro back from his shirt pocket, pulled a cigarette out and lit it, took a long drag then mused: "Why does no one listen?"
"Why do you offer what they don't want to hear?" Julian challenged. Alexandrea chuckled as she handed him the cigarette. He inhaled deeply.
"Didn't want to hear? I told her what she wanted to know. She'd been a wreck, disbelieving. Couldn't thank me enough when he finally showed up." She regarded him with a meaningful look. "These things take time."
He heard the sadness in her tone and he understood. To stay or go? It had hung over him for three months already, and no sign of what had been promised. A flash that red hair, those energetic blue eyes, they all eluded him. To stay or go?
"Come away," Alexandrea pleaded softly, answering his thoughts in that way she did. But Julian knew better, it was not her power. She just knew him too well. "Come away with me. What's the use of the past?"
"To remind us why we are who we are," he responded bitterly. "How does one move on?"
"By moving out." She was pouting again and Julian used all his strength to focus on her grey eyes. With a huff, she stepped down from the rail. She raised her hand, fingers spread wide, and placed it in the centre of his chest. "You will leave with me." So certain.
Julian grabbed her wrist, pulled it away. "Is that what the stars tell you?"
"That's what your eyes tell me." She paused, contemplating. "If you see Jordan--"
"Don't."
"Why not?"
He said nothing and she sighed, turning her face back to the party. A heartbeat later her body locked up, frozen, so much so that Julian imagined he could feel her skin become so many degrees cooler. He followed her line of sight and felt his own blood run cold.
Red hair. The other side of the room might as well have been the other side of the world. Julian couldn't drop Alexandrea's hand fast enough. He pushed through the bodies, not bothering with apologies. Just a few feet away, he could practically feel his lips against the ones he'd been dreaming of. And then Alexandrea's hand was on his arm, pulling him backward sharply, dragging him away. He wanted to punch her.
"No," she hissed. "It's not what you think. Not here. Not now." Julian's head reeled, and heaviness rested over his heart. If not now, then when? A month for Mary, but three for him? Maybe more? It wasn't fair.
"I know, I know." Alexandrea placed her hands on either side of his face, a comforting gesture. "It's not fair at all, but it's how it is. You know my sight is unpredictable. Will you spend your life rotting in this town? Come away, Julian. Forget."
And then she was kissing him. There was no passion, no emotion at all, just a desperate attempt to give him a reason to leave. It wasn't how he imagined. He couldn't get anything right. Couldn't make the love of his life stay, couldn't make the only other person he'd been interested in love him properly. When she pulled away, his expression broke her heart.
"It's a lie," he whispered.
"But I can learn," she promised. "It would be okay. We would be okay."
Of course. Julian could see it on the face of every male in the room, the envy. He should have jumped at the idea to be with her, just her, alone on the road forever. He felt deflated; he had been so sure it was Jordan. Staring at the floor, staring at his hands, staring at her legs, her breasts, her lips. He made a decision, and he didn't even have time to voice it before she was pulling him down the stairs and out the door, her face lit up in joy.
They jumped on the first train to anywhere, stayed in seedy motels, and lived on vending machine food. They fell hard and fast for the other, encouraged by the romance of being on the run from nothing at all. He suspected it was a ruse on her part, of course, but he was happy to delude himself. Days were spent exploring new cities; nights were spent exploring each other. A year passed without much notice. Time had no meaning. They were infinite.
Then, in Boston, Alexandrea began to act as if they were on the run from something. Or someone. Julian didn't know which, nor did he care. He wanted to see her eyes sparkle again, but it was gone.
"Are you going to tell me?" he confronted her as he turned the key and opened the door to their small, reeking rented room. Her body tensed.
"Tell you what?" she asked back, her voice just a touch too sweet and innocent.
"Why you've been acting--"
"I've been talking to Mary," she interrupted. "Sending postcards back and forth, you've seen." He had; he nodded. "She and Danny are getting married. Isn't that wonderful? She wants us to go to the wedding, but we don't have that kind of cash."
"No, we don't," Julian agreed. He was getting suspicious now. Alexandrea had told him this last week in Vermont. It wasn't like her to forget things. He watched her stretch her arms over her head and fake a yawn as she shut the blinds and began stripping off her clothes.
"I'm tired, aren't you?" Julian shook his head; her bottom lip stuck out slightly. "Well," she began again, her tone turning seductive, "then I'll just have to wear you out, won't I?" She leaned up to nip at his neck with her teeth as persuasion, but he pushed her away lightly.
"I want to go out for dinner." That was all he said before walking back out of the room, leaving Alexandrea with no choice but to follow. Julian walked on, disregarding as she tried her best to get him back to the room with words she usually would never have used in public. She was on a mission, she had to stop him. Then suddenly he stopped short, and Alexandrea almost ran into him. Peeking around him, her spirits plummeted through the floor instantly. Julian's jaw quickly joined them.
The boy across the street squinted in their direction, then took a step back. The shock was obvious on his face. He wove between the passing cars to them and a smile spread across his face as he ran one hand through red hair. Alexandrea wasn't sure Julian was still breathing.
"Jules?" the boy asked.
"Jordan," Julian gasped. So he was breathing after all. "Why are you here? How?"
"I moved here a few months ago," Jordan explained, his brow furrowing. "Didn't you get my letters?"
Julian just barely shook his head. "I've been traveling."
Jordan regarded Alexandrea. "With you?" he demanded. She nodded, and Jordan turned back to Julian. "You hate traveling."
"She talked me into it," he offered lamely.
"I'm not so sure it was talking she was doing." Blue eyes narrowed accusatorily. Julian could do nothing but shift his weight awkwardly.
"Jordan," Alexandrea began hastily, "you don't understand. You--"
"No, I understand just fine!" Jordan shouted. He looked at Julian, eyes full of sorrow. "You said you loved me. You said you would wait."
"I couldn't wait any longer," Julian whispered.
Jordan sniffed. "Then there's no use in prolonging this, is there?" He grabbed Julian's face between his hands and pressed one angry kiss against the boy's lips before stepping back into the street.
There was a squealing of brakes, and then a crash. Moments later the air was filled with shocked screaming. Jordan just stood there in disbelief. Alexandrea took his hand and lead him away from the bloody scene. He moved like a zombie. Like dead weight.
"You knew," he stated in a empty, ghostlike voice as he sat heavily on the motel bed and stared at the tattered carpet. She hovered near the door, unsure of what he might do.
"Knew that we would see him here? Not initially. Knew that this would come to pass? Well…" She trailed off. There was nothing she could say.
"And you tried to warn me. 'If you see Jordan'… I didn't let you finish." Now his swimming eyes raised to meet hers. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Now Alexandrea crossed the room to sit next to him. She didn't look him in the face, but she could feel him staring at her. "You had forgotten. You were okay. I would have had us leave tomorrow and you wouldn't have been any the wiser."
"Why did this happen?" The question wasn't to her, but she answered anyway.
"I don't write the story, I just see what's to come. The stars said he would…" She stopped that train of thought and began again, "I don't know why. But I tried so hard to keep it from happening."
Julian paused a moment. "What do I do now?"
"You have two choices: You live, move on and try to forget. Or you don't."
"I don't want to. I can't." The tears were flowing freely now, his body shaking with grief. He stood and rummaged through his pockets, finally producing the switchblade he carried at all times for defense. Just incase. Alexandrea stood too, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Are you sure that's what you want to do?"
He looked into her eyes for a long time. "What did the stars say?" She sighed.
"If I tell you, will it change your decision at all?" Julian shrugged and Alexandrea chewed her lip, wondering what to say. After what might have been an eternity, she answered: "They said you live on to another day."
Julian chuckled humorlessly and pocketed the knife again. "Can't argue with the Universe's plan, now can I?"
"It would be an unwise move, to say the least." She forced a smile, fought to keep the panic from showing on her face. "Now let's get some sleep, huh?" Julian sniffed and nodded and they both lay down. He rested his arm around her waist, holding her close, and was asleep within minutes.
Alexandrea could not sleep. Gently, she pried Julian's hand from her hip and rose, moving to stand before the window. She stared at the sky for several minutes before she felt an undeniably powerful presence behind her.
"You're terribly selfish," murmured hundreds of voices as one. It was a strange sound; fragmented and foreign, but all too familiar to Alexandrea. "He is not yours to keep."
"I know," she replied through her teeth. Of course she knew. She was not supposed to tamper with the Design.
"The soul is expired. Your lie will not protect him for long. We will take him and you will be punished." Then, with a sound like a bitter November wind, the presence dissolved to leave Alexandrea alone with her thoughts. Her eyes never left the sky as she sighed and sat on the wide sill.
They would be true to her word, she knew this. Upsetting the Design was a serious offense and she would not be let off easily. She could only hope They extended some mercy toward Julian.
Panic gripped her. What if They didn't? Surely They had to be gentle with him, it wasn't his fault. He'd be dead on the dirty bathroom floor now if not for her self-centered wishes, wouldn't that earn him some compassion from Them? He hadn't known. But there was no way to be sure. They had to be both kind and cruel, there had to be balance, and she could not see which side of the scale Julian belonged on. Did she dare risk the chance of his torture?
No.
She stood slowly and made her way to his bedside. Taking the blade from the table, she clicked it open and hesitated. Was this right? Who knows; it could have been written in the stars all along, somewhere she hadn't seen. The only thing certain was that she would not let him suffer, not by their hands. This would ensure his safe passage to the other side. What could be more pitiful than being betrayed by the one you trust?
With this thought in mind, she swiftly dragged the blade across his throat, digging deeply so he would bleed out that much faster. His eyes flew open, wide with horror. He gasped and gagged and pulled at her hands and tried to beat her away. She could only just smile down at him with tears in her eyes.
"It's for the best. You're going home. No one can hurt you now," she promised. "Goodbye, my Julian. I really did love you." And then he was gone. Alexandrea placed a soft kiss on his rapidly cooling forehead.
Lowering herself to the floor, she sat with her legs crossed. Her mind was peaceful. Her eyes were closed. And she waited for her punishment without fear, knowing Julian would be with Jordan.
Julian had to make a choice. She put so much pressure on him.
His eyes scanned the room and caught Alexandrea's before raking down her body, taking in every curve accentuated by the tight black cocktail dress. It matched her hair perfectly, as her clothes often do. Smooth, dark, and short. She does these things to torture him.
She smiled as she wove her way through the thrashing bodies, moving toward him.
"Can you believe how dull this is?" she asked, leaning in to be heard over the pounding bass. Julian rolled his eyes. He could believe it, and so could she. She had told him over the phone not an hour ago. When Julian didn't answer, Alexandrea pouted, sticking out the full bottom lip that he wanted to cover in bite marks. Grabbing his hand, she pulled him onto the patio and shooed away the couples there. Once they were alone she drew herself to sit on the railing and kicked her bare feet over the edge, admired the topiary below.
"Oh, speaking of, I got a postcard," she said, as if they had been on the subject. "Mary's in India now. With Danny. He followed her after all." Twisting her neck to study Julian's reaction, she found his eyes unfocused, staring into the distance. She leaned back to grab the Marlboro back from his shirt pocket, pulled a cigarette out and lit it, took a long drag then mused: "Why does no one listen?"
"Why do you offer what they don't want to hear?" Julian challenged. Alexandrea chuckled as she handed him the cigarette. He inhaled deeply.
"Didn't want to hear? I told her what she wanted to know. She'd been a wreck, disbelieving. Couldn't thank me enough when he finally showed up." She regarded him with a meaningful look. "These things take time."
He heard the sadness in her tone and he understood. To stay or go? It had hung over him for three months already, and no sign of what had been promised. A flash that red hair, those energetic blue eyes, they all eluded him. To stay or go?
"Come away," Alexandrea pleaded softly, answering his thoughts in that way she did. But Julian knew better, it was not her power. She just knew him too well. "Come away with me. What's the use of the past?"
"To remind us why we are who we are," he responded bitterly. "How does one move on?"
"By moving out." She was pouting again and Julian used all his strength to focus on her grey eyes. With a huff, she stepped down from the rail. She raised her hand, fingers spread wide, and placed it in the centre of his chest. "You will leave with me." So certain.
Julian grabbed her wrist, pulled it away. "Is that what the stars tell you?"
"That's what your eyes tell me." She paused, contemplating. "If you see Jordan--"
"Don't."
"Why not?"
He said nothing and she sighed, turning her face back to the party. A heartbeat later her body locked up, frozen, so much so that Julian imagined he could feel her skin become so many degrees cooler. He followed her line of sight and felt his own blood run cold.
Red hair. The other side of the room might as well have been the other side of the world. Julian couldn't drop Alexandrea's hand fast enough. He pushed through the bodies, not bothering with apologies. Just a few feet away, he could practically feel his lips against the ones he'd been dreaming of. And then Alexandrea's hand was on his arm, pulling him backward sharply, dragging him away. He wanted to punch her.
"No," she hissed. "It's not what you think. Not here. Not now." Julian's head reeled, and heaviness rested over his heart. If not now, then when? A month for Mary, but three for him? Maybe more? It wasn't fair.
"I know, I know." Alexandrea placed her hands on either side of his face, a comforting gesture. "It's not fair at all, but it's how it is. You know my sight is unpredictable. Will you spend your life rotting in this town? Come away, Julian. Forget."
And then she was kissing him. There was no passion, no emotion at all, just a desperate attempt to give him a reason to leave. It wasn't how he imagined. He couldn't get anything right. Couldn't make the love of his life stay, couldn't make the only other person he'd been interested in love him properly. When she pulled away, his expression broke her heart.
"It's a lie," he whispered.
"But I can learn," she promised. "It would be okay. We would be okay."
Of course. Julian could see it on the face of every male in the room, the envy. He should have jumped at the idea to be with her, just her, alone on the road forever. He felt deflated; he had been so sure it was Jordan. Staring at the floor, staring at his hands, staring at her legs, her breasts, her lips. He made a decision, and he didn't even have time to voice it before she was pulling him down the stairs and out the door, her face lit up in joy.
They jumped on the first train to anywhere, stayed in seedy motels, and lived on vending machine food. They fell hard and fast for the other, encouraged by the romance of being on the run from nothing at all. He suspected it was a ruse on her part, of course, but he was happy to delude himself. Days were spent exploring new cities; nights were spent exploring each other. A year passed without much notice. Time had no meaning. They were infinite.
Then, in Boston, Alexandrea began to act as if they were on the run from something. Or someone. Julian didn't know which, nor did he care. He wanted to see her eyes sparkle again, but it was gone.
"Are you going to tell me?" he confronted her as he turned the key and opened the door to their small, reeking rented room. Her body tensed.
"Tell you what?" she asked back, her voice just a touch too sweet and innocent.
"Why you've been acting--"
"I've been talking to Mary," she interrupted. "Sending postcards back and forth, you've seen." He had; he nodded. "She and Danny are getting married. Isn't that wonderful? She wants us to go to the wedding, but we don't have that kind of cash."
"No, we don't," Julian agreed. He was getting suspicious now. Alexandrea had told him this last week in Vermont. It wasn't like her to forget things. He watched her stretch her arms over her head and fake a yawn as she shut the blinds and began stripping off her clothes.
"I'm tired, aren't you?" Julian shook his head; her bottom lip stuck out slightly. "Well," she began again, her tone turning seductive, "then I'll just have to wear you out, won't I?" She leaned up to nip at his neck with her teeth as persuasion, but he pushed her away lightly.
"I want to go out for dinner." That was all he said before walking back out of the room, leaving Alexandrea with no choice but to follow. Julian walked on, disregarding as she tried her best to get him back to the room with words she usually would never have used in public. She was on a mission, she had to stop him. Then suddenly he stopped short, and Alexandrea almost ran into him. Peeking around him, her spirits plummeted through the floor instantly. Julian's jaw quickly joined them.
The boy across the street squinted in their direction, then took a step back. The shock was obvious on his face. He wove between the passing cars to them and a smile spread across his face as he ran one hand through red hair. Alexandrea wasn't sure Julian was still breathing.
"Jules?" the boy asked.
"Jordan," Julian gasped. So he was breathing after all. "Why are you here? How?"
"I moved here a few months ago," Jordan explained, his brow furrowing. "Didn't you get my letters?"
Julian just barely shook his head. "I've been traveling."
Jordan regarded Alexandrea. "With you?" he demanded. She nodded, and Jordan turned back to Julian. "You hate traveling."
"She talked me into it," he offered lamely.
"I'm not so sure it was talking she was doing." Blue eyes narrowed accusatorily. Julian could do nothing but shift his weight awkwardly.
"Jordan," Alexandrea began hastily, "you don't understand. You--"
"No, I understand just fine!" Jordan shouted. He looked at Julian, eyes full of sorrow. "You said you loved me. You said you would wait."
"I couldn't wait any longer," Julian whispered.
Jordan sniffed. "Then there's no use in prolonging this, is there?" He grabbed Julian's face between his hands and pressed one angry kiss against the boy's lips before stepping back into the street.
There was a squealing of brakes, and then a crash. Moments later the air was filled with shocked screaming. Jordan just stood there in disbelief. Alexandrea took his hand and lead him away from the bloody scene. He moved like a zombie. Like dead weight.
"You knew," he stated in a empty, ghostlike voice as he sat heavily on the motel bed and stared at the tattered carpet. She hovered near the door, unsure of what he might do.
"Knew that we would see him here? Not initially. Knew that this would come to pass? Well…" She trailed off. There was nothing she could say.
"And you tried to warn me. 'If you see Jordan'… I didn't let you finish." Now his swimming eyes raised to meet hers. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Now Alexandrea crossed the room to sit next to him. She didn't look him in the face, but she could feel him staring at her. "You had forgotten. You were okay. I would have had us leave tomorrow and you wouldn't have been any the wiser."
"Why did this happen?" The question wasn't to her, but she answered anyway.
"I don't write the story, I just see what's to come. The stars said he would…" She stopped that train of thought and began again, "I don't know why. But I tried so hard to keep it from happening."
Julian paused a moment. "What do I do now?"
"You have two choices: You live, move on and try to forget. Or you don't."
"I don't want to. I can't." The tears were flowing freely now, his body shaking with grief. He stood and rummaged through his pockets, finally producing the switchblade he carried at all times for defense. Just incase. Alexandrea stood too, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Are you sure that's what you want to do?"
He looked into her eyes for a long time. "What did the stars say?" She sighed.
"If I tell you, will it change your decision at all?" Julian shrugged and Alexandrea chewed her lip, wondering what to say. After what might have been an eternity, she answered: "They said you live on to another day."
Julian chuckled humorlessly and pocketed the knife again. "Can't argue with the Universe's plan, now can I?"
"It would be an unwise move, to say the least." She forced a smile, fought to keep the panic from showing on her face. "Now let's get some sleep, huh?" Julian sniffed and nodded and they both lay down. He rested his arm around her waist, holding her close, and was asleep within minutes.
Alexandrea could not sleep. Gently, she pried Julian's hand from her hip and rose, moving to stand before the window. She stared at the sky for several minutes before she felt an undeniably powerful presence behind her.
"You're terribly selfish," murmured hundreds of voices as one. It was a strange sound; fragmented and foreign, but all too familiar to Alexandrea. "He is not yours to keep."
"I know," she replied through her teeth. Of course she knew. She was not supposed to tamper with the Design.
"The soul is expired. Your lie will not protect him for long. We will take him and you will be punished." Then, with a sound like a bitter November wind, the presence dissolved to leave Alexandrea alone with her thoughts. Her eyes never left the sky as she sighed and sat on the wide sill.
They would be true to her word, she knew this. Upsetting the Design was a serious offense and she would not be let off easily. She could only hope They extended some mercy toward Julian.
Panic gripped her. What if They didn't? Surely They had to be gentle with him, it wasn't his fault. He'd be dead on the dirty bathroom floor now if not for her self-centered wishes, wouldn't that earn him some compassion from Them? He hadn't known. But there was no way to be sure. They had to be both kind and cruel, there had to be balance, and she could not see which side of the scale Julian belonged on. Did she dare risk the chance of his torture?
No.
She stood slowly and made her way to his bedside. Taking the blade from the table, she clicked it open and hesitated. Was this right? Who knows; it could have been written in the stars all along, somewhere she hadn't seen. The only thing certain was that she would not let him suffer, not by their hands. This would ensure his safe passage to the other side. What could be more pitiful than being betrayed by the one you trust?
With this thought in mind, she swiftly dragged the blade across his throat, digging deeply so he would bleed out that much faster. His eyes flew open, wide with horror. He gasped and gagged and pulled at her hands and tried to beat her away. She could only just smile down at him with tears in her eyes.
"It's for the best. You're going home. No one can hurt you now," she promised. "Goodbye, my Julian. I really did love you." And then he was gone. Alexandrea placed a soft kiss on his rapidly cooling forehead.
Lowering herself to the floor, she sat with her legs crossed. Her mind was peaceful. Her eyes were closed. And she waited for her punishment without fear, knowing Julian would be with Jordan.