Some Musings on Rape Jokes

May 07, 2011 18:18

This is a really unpopular stance to take, but here goes:

A defense of rape jokes. And sexist jokes. And homophobic jokes. And racist jokes. And just about every other kind offensive joke out there that you can think.

I am Asian, female, an Athiest, and bisexual, so it's not like I don't get offended by these jokes - I do! I hear them constantly, and to be honest, they are all annoying and often hurtful when I hear them. But the thing is, it's not as isolated or simple as a lot of various minority rights activists will have you believe.

I live in Los Angeles. Where I got to school, we pull in students from more than half of all the ethnic conclaves in this massive city. There are kids from all across the social, political, and economic spectrums. Our school's main selling point outside of its academic record is the diversity it can offer. But with it comes a lot of culture clashes as teenagers from such varying backgrounds have to make do with each other.

So you can probably imagine the number of offensive jokes I hear on a daily basis. :|

Obviously, that includes rape jokes. And murder jokes. And homicide jokes. And genocide jokes. Really, the Holocaust can make the great butt of a joke if done right (admittedly, it rarely is).

Now, as I said recently in my Feminist Guide to Male Friends, not every offensive joke uttered was meant to be offensive - even when the person saying it knew it was offensive. We live in a screwed up culture where genuine affection is "family only" - you can give it to your significant other, your spouse, and your kids, and that's about it. Parents? Nope. Friends? Maybe if you're a girl. Anyone else? Forget it.

The joke that British people only show affection to horses and dogs starts to make more sense in this context, doesn't it?

Anyway, jokes have become our way of showing affection. And everything else. Most of us have compared school to mass murder at some point or another, or schoolwork of some kind as torture, and while most of us will at some point or another crack jokes about wanting to kill our boss, most of us, if handed a gun and an alibi, won't actually do it, even if we want to.

We can all pretty much agree that murder, genocide, torture, homicide, and all sorts of other crimes are BAD.

But realistically, how are they actually worse than most other jokes about other such similarly heinous crimes? What's so different between "that test murdered me" and "that test raped me", that the former is okay to say and the latter isn't?

Now, this is also in context - the majority of people I hear cracking rape jokes also crack murder and genocide and other such jokes. For a school full of Jews, Holocaust jokes get cracked a lot more than you would expect.

The only time I've ever actually gotten scared? When hearing rape jokes from someone either who has a history of malicious disrespect for women.

As I said in the Guide:

The guys make jokes about women "getting back in the kitchen" - but do they actually expect that of you? Or do they expect you to be whatever you say you are i.e. in my case badass lawyer? Even if they crack jokes about you making a living "on your knees or on your back" (aka housewife), the important thing is whether they really think women, and you, do this, or whether they know that you will follow your dreams and ambitions, and are ready to support you in that, even if it's in the tried-and-true method of distracting you as much as possible while studying for a test. :P

Also, another point - when they make a joke, is it implying that rape is a bad thing in general, used for an analogy purpose? Or...are they saying they will rape someone? Or are they looking at a "slutty" girl and saying she's just asking to get raped? Are they seeing a woman walking in the dark and muttering slyly, "She's gon' get raped!"? (Because most people don't say things like this about murder and genocide, but many do about rape).

I am not necessarily saying we need to sit back with a tight smile every time rape is used in a joke - because there are certainly many out there that essentially encourage rape or otherwise give it a cultural free pass, somehow. But, we need not assume everyone who's cracked a rape joke ever is a rapist, and perhaps we should be a bit more discerning about what we attack and what we leave be - if someone is saying some horrible test was like rape just like 'homework is murder', then they are saying it's a bad thing, and that attitude is not one to discourage.

sexism, sexual assault, jokes. society, assault, culture

Previous post Next post
Up