so this is the new year...
theres seriously been so much going on. it seems like i say that in all my entries..but really
well friday was good...i went to kingdom koffee with christina, courtney and ashton. it was the acoustic show and luke played withe the old man from last week! so that was good..and i personally like unsung hero even better acoustic... talked to chris for um..two seconds:(hes been quiet lately..well we ended up leaving early...all the foursquare people left for lazer tag which is about everyone so...we went to my place to get the video camera (were making a happy birthday video for kristin. yay!) parked on rose, then went to christinas house. we filmed a bunch of stuff over at her house. me and christina started it thursday at my house...seriously soo much fun. theres a lot of inside jokes and random stuff..its wonderful. but still not done yet. oh yes, i love those girls
yesterday we all went to vavas. it was so great! there were a lot of family members that i saw this weekend for this first time in maany years..i dont even remember most of them. my uncle louie came down as well as his wife and my cousin maren and christopher! theyre seriously soo cool. chris has a red curly fro..wish i had red hair..but hes really funny and maren too..sad they live in orgeon though. just talked with all the family there...and then everyone went to uncle bucks. i love his house...its so nice and homey. we watched old videos of my dad and uncles, and gary and brian in their old bands and stuff..i love watching those. theyre all so talented its crazy. so. that was actually a happy night. i seriously love my family..sad though that we all meet under these circumstances..
and today=EMOTIONAL. i almost feel stupid..because i have soo many entries in here where im just so drained and sad..and now something big happens. but yea..today was just the rosay and viewing. he looked old, and you could tell his body looked kinda dead..but then for some reason it looked as if his eyes would open at any second. well more like i was just expecting them too. at first i was fine. but then i just couldnt stop crying. im not very good at holding my tears. no matter how hard i try. first of all i just cant beleive he would do that to himself. when he loved us all and everybody in that room loved him so much too. i really do miss him. i kept thinking about the last time i saw him and it just doesnt sink in that it was the very last time.
then my cousin anthony and joe and uncle franks sons (hes about 4 and 8 or something) was just sitting up there looking at him.it reminded me exactly of when my dad died. i remember looking at him and touching his hands, waiting for him to wake up. and i cant beleive they have to go through the same thing as us. hes so cuute! i didnt say hi to them..or aunt joanne. i didnt know if i even should but..im sure i will tomorrow.
seeing uncle louie and uncle buck cry was the hardest part. i love them so much. its crazy what theyve had to go through and how strong theyve had to be through it all. and vava too.this is the third son she has had to see die...a mother never expects that happen:/
uncle buck is the youngest and he has to watch all his heros die. he told me "im sick of having to watch all my brothers die." i just care about him so much. and same with uncle louie...he talked to me yesterday about one of my dads guitars..i guess my dad gave one of his les pauls to his friends son..and the kid never played, and eventually broke it. and now my uncle louie has it and is having this guitar specialist fix it up. and since ive been playing guitar, hes going to give it to me..i seriously cant belvieve he would do that. i feel sooo bad because hes spending so much money on it and its his brothers. im sure he would love to have it..my mom told him today that he should keep it because we both feel bad. but he tapped me on the shoulder today and said "hannah, youre getting that guitar i dont care what anyone says." it means so much to me that he would do that, and that it means so much to him that i have it. i still feel bad...but im also REALLY excited about the guitar..its a black '75 les paul! itll be done around christmas too.
saw a looot of family and old family friends today. it was overwhelming, but really nice at the same time. we saw gary...my dads bassist. havent seen him for years. i missed him! and hes going to burn us a cd with my dads songs..uncle frank is playing too i think. so im excited about that too...but yea. i got really bad towards the end when i was saying hi to everyone. ..i just started bauling and probably making a really weird scrunchy face..i seriously felt like i did when i was 7 years old. jenny and jordan were all hugging me. so much was going through my mind...how uncle frank would do that to himself, my dad, and everybody having to go through this too. i know its all happening for a reason though. i think its brought me alittle closer to them all. i think ive realized too how important my family is. i love them. but still.
tomorrow is the funeral. i really wish catholics did not like to drag on funerals like this. two days of it...its been good to see family so much but ahhh...yea. the rest or today was actually good though. we got taco bell and all watched movies. then got yogurt mill. been with kate. and only have to go to school 3 days this week. so i feel alittle more refreshed.
i miss my friends. :( a lot.
well friday was good...i went to kingdom koffee with christina, courtney and ashton. it was the acoustic show and luke played withe the old man from last week! so that was good..and i personally like unsung hero even better acoustic... talked to chris for um..two seconds:(hes been quiet lately..well we ended up leaving early...all the foursquare people left for lazer tag which is about everyone so...we went to my place to get the video camera (were making a happy birthday video for kristin. yay!) parked on rose, then went to christinas house. we filmed a bunch of stuff over at her house. me and christina started it thursday at my house...seriously soo much fun. theres a lot of inside jokes and random stuff..its wonderful. but still not done yet. oh yes, i love those girls
yesterday we all went to vavas. it was so great! there were a lot of family members that i saw this weekend for this first time in maany years..i dont even remember most of them. my uncle louie came down as well as his wife and my cousin maren and christopher! theyre seriously soo cool. chris has a red curly fro..wish i had red hair..but hes really funny and maren too..sad they live in orgeon though. just talked with all the family there...and then everyone went to uncle bucks. i love his house...its so nice and homey. we watched old videos of my dad and uncles, and gary and brian in their old bands and stuff..i love watching those. theyre all so talented its crazy. so. that was actually a happy night. i seriously love my family..sad though that we all meet under these circumstances..
and today=EMOTIONAL. i almost feel stupid..because i have soo many entries in here where im just so drained and sad..and now something big happens. but yea..today was just the rosay and viewing. he looked old, and you could tell his body looked kinda dead..but then for some reason it looked as if his eyes would open at any second. well more like i was just expecting them too. at first i was fine. but then i just couldnt stop crying. im not very good at holding my tears. no matter how hard i try. first of all i just cant beleive he would do that to himself. when he loved us all and everybody in that room loved him so much too. i really do miss him. i kept thinking about the last time i saw him and it just doesnt sink in that it was the very last time.
then my cousin anthony and joe and uncle franks sons (hes about 4 and 8 or something) was just sitting up there looking at him.it reminded me exactly of when my dad died. i remember looking at him and touching his hands, waiting for him to wake up. and i cant beleive they have to go through the same thing as us. hes so cuute! i didnt say hi to them..or aunt joanne. i didnt know if i even should but..im sure i will tomorrow.
seeing uncle louie and uncle buck cry was the hardest part. i love them so much. its crazy what theyve had to go through and how strong theyve had to be through it all. and vava too.this is the third son she has had to see die...a mother never expects that happen:/
uncle buck is the youngest and he has to watch all his heros die. he told me "im sick of having to watch all my brothers die." i just care about him so much. and same with uncle louie...he talked to me yesterday about one of my dads guitars..i guess my dad gave one of his les pauls to his friends son..and the kid never played, and eventually broke it. and now my uncle louie has it and is having this guitar specialist fix it up. and since ive been playing guitar, hes going to give it to me..i seriously cant belvieve he would do that. i feel sooo bad because hes spending so much money on it and its his brothers. im sure he would love to have it..my mom told him today that he should keep it because we both feel bad. but he tapped me on the shoulder today and said "hannah, youre getting that guitar i dont care what anyone says." it means so much to me that he would do that, and that it means so much to him that i have it. i still feel bad...but im also REALLY excited about the guitar..its a black '75 les paul! itll be done around christmas too.
saw a looot of family and old family friends today. it was overwhelming, but really nice at the same time. we saw gary...my dads bassist. havent seen him for years. i missed him! and hes going to burn us a cd with my dads songs..uncle frank is playing too i think. so im excited about that too...but yea. i got really bad towards the end when i was saying hi to everyone. ..i just started bauling and probably making a really weird scrunchy face..i seriously felt like i did when i was 7 years old. jenny and jordan were all hugging me. so much was going through my mind...how uncle frank would do that to himself, my dad, and everybody having to go through this too. i know its all happening for a reason though. i think its brought me alittle closer to them all. i think ive realized too how important my family is. i love them. but still.
tomorrow is the funeral. i really wish catholics did not like to drag on funerals like this. two days of it...its been good to see family so much but ahhh...yea. the rest or today was actually good though. we got taco bell and all watched movies. then got yogurt mill. been with kate. and only have to go to school 3 days this week. so i feel alittle more refreshed.
i miss my friends. :( a lot.