[summary] Janiben - 2013.04.10 - Speedwagon
I'm sensing a pattern with the way they're dressing each week:
we already know that Ryo and Yoko pretty much have the same set of their own outfits (Ryo: t-shirt, ugly cap, jeans; Yoko: cardigan, button-up, cropped pants), Maru's been in a lot of hoodies + jeans, Subaru miiiight be trying to grow out the bowl cut which is why he's wearing a hat yet again (no complaints from me, though), Hina tries to dress the most mature out of them, Yasu has toned down his really weird outfits (anyone remember that awful "scarf" that looked like two creepy fabric hands with the fingers interlaced? ::SHIVER::), and Ohkura… is unimpressive except that I love his hair now. HMM.
Anyway, before the guests come out, Hina mentions that "Kencho Omotenashika" will be out in theatres from May 11 and Ryo asks everyone to please help him (by going to see it).
Speedwagon has been on before (although I really can't remember what went on the first time around… I might not have even seen it). When the pair get to the couch, Itoda thanks the members for taking care of them. I guess since they've been on before and they're not female guests, there's no need for the members to make small talk before getting into the first segment.
Segment 1 - K8 can/not agree with…
"The most relaxing time is when I take a bath!"
Oh, new voice for segment 1!! At least it's not weird robotic. Everyone agrees and the members seem to be confused because Itoda picks a topic that's too general/easily to agree with and Ohkura says, "It's a range of models" with which Subaru agrees. Itoda says that first of all, he loves taking a bath, so Hina asks if it's because he likes cleanliness which Itoda says that he really loves.
Hina then asks to what extent Itoda likes to have things clean and Itoda compares it to more than Adachi Yumi (an actress who's known for loving cleanliness).
However, Ozawa sells his aikata (manzai partner) out by telling the members the truth about Itoda's bathing habits. For one, and the biggest offense, is that while you can't help it if you want to pee when you shower, it's not the most disgusting thing to do it there.
Itoda, however, just pees in the bath water (see notes 1) and Subaru says, "You can't do that in the water!" Yoko says that viewers will turn away from them because that's a dirty habit. Ozawa continues saying that some people who brush their teeth in the bath will spit outside into the area that flow into the drain, but Itoda spits into the bath water.
Yoko says that with all that he emits in the water, it becomes Itoda's water.
Itoda confesses that he does everything in the bath water and Hina, who's making sure, asks if he does that while in the bath to which Itoda says yes and says that he feels like those things just add to the bath.
Maru wants to know what Itoda does if he feels like he needs to go to the bathroom right before taking a bath, but Itoda says that he'll go to the bathroom first in that case. Basically, if he HAS to pee in the bath, he'll do it, but it's not like he does it there just because he can.
Ryo is like 99% skeptic. Or at least that's what his face says.
Hina brings up the bath sharing thing in families and Itoda says that the first person into the bath water is actually bad for his/her body because that person will catch a cold (easier). The fact is, the first bath is tough on the body (I guess it also depends on what temperature families set their baths to) because the heat is shocking and your body doesn't heat up at all. Ryo asks if it has something to do with chlorine in the water and Itoda says that it does because if they were to talk about onset, those places warm a person's body to the core for a long time. Honestly, I don't get what he's talking about because a ton of onsens have really hot water and I've never heard of people getting sick from them. Nor have I heard of people catching cold easily from taking a bath first. Ryo asks if Itoda throws the dirty water away every day and Itoda first says that he doesn't think his own pee is dirty (and a lot of science people will tell you that it really isn't as dirty as you think) but that he does make sure to change out the water with each use because he likes cleanliness.
His last line makes them all laugh and everyone says, "We don't get it!"
Itoda says that he makes sure to scrub the bath tub and wipe it down each time he uses it.
Yoko interrupts asking, "Sorry, but partway through, were you speaking in English?" because he just doesn't get it. Hina asks what'll happen if Itoda gets married and he says that he might change, but he's been single for a long time. The show actually asked a doctor for her advice about why it's bad to bathe first and she says that because the first to bathe doesn't get warmed to the core while soaking, so heading from the bath into a room that isn't heated makes it easier to catch cold. The second person (and on) to bathe gets to soak in water that has been tempered better in a way that the body can receive heat. The show also asks about whether or not it's okay to pee or spit in the bath and the female doctor looks pretty grossed out by that. She says that it's dirty and surprising to hear. Spitting might be even worse because there are tons of bacteria in your mouth and to spit those bacteria out into water that your body is soaking in is unhygienic. After the VTR, Itoda says that he was right about bathing first, but Hina tells him that the latter half was wrong. Yoko says that he lets out things that his body doesn't need in the water and Itoda says that they're not unnecessary so they all laugh at him.
As they're introducing the next point, Ryo says that he (and I'm assuming the members) wants to agree with the next point.
"Sure enough, no matter what age I am, I want to fall in love (like they do) in the movies!"
Oh, my citrus trio agree while the ossans and Yasu disagree. Ozawa says that a dramatic first meeting with background music like in movies or dramas is the way he wants to fall in love.
He has a list of some scenarios that he likes: when hands touch trying to reach for the same book that both want to buy, when he sees a woman running with a slice of bread in her mouth, when the motorcycle that he'd been following stops and the rider takes off the helmet to reveal that it's a woman.
Ozawa uses his aikata's hand for the first one and you can see Ryo totally into this (if you remember when Fruit Punch were on last year, one of the guys in the combi also likes imagining drama love scenes and Ryo was so into it). He asks them if they've ever fallen in love that way and they all say that they haven't, but Ozawa says that it would be a lie if they said they never wanted to fall in love that way.
For the second one, they all laugh and Ryo agrees saying that it's like the beginning of a movie.
Ozawa says, "You're a movie person." Hina says that Ryo is a movie person but more like another version of Ozawa to which Ryo says that he doesn't like that comparison. Ozawa jokes about music playing and Itoda asks him from where to which Ozawa says that it's in his head. Basically, when he's with a girl, he'll have headphones on and he'll listen to music while reading a book. The members looks confused because it's rude to be listening to music when you're with someone and Hina asks about if they talk, so Ozawa adds that he has the volume set so that he can hear conversation. Hina says that the music is strictly background.
For the bread scenario, Ozawa elaborates by saying that his ideal scene is him seeing the girl with bread in her mouth but she's someone new in the area. Then, at work, the very same girl he saw in the morning gets introduced as a new person to his work place, so he looks at her and says, "You were eating bread!"
Look at that nightmare-inducing grin. I still love you, Ryo.
Ryo is totally grinning in the back and Yoko says that it's something they've seen before. Ozawa says that they've seen it before, but it's never happened to them and if they say that they don't want to try it, that's a lie.
With the bike scene, Ozawa imagines a sort of chase scene because the other rider overtakes him so he gets irritated and chases. When they finally stop, the other rider takes off the helmet to reveal a woman. Somewhat related to his bike chase story, Ozawa says that a long time ago, Itoda was supposed to be meeting with Ozawa to come up with ideas for their acts but he spotted a really cute girl on the train and he followed her until she got off. Ohkura exclaims, "Stalker!"
Because Itoda told Ozawa on the phone that he was going to follow a girl, Hina says that Ozawa must have told his partner to hurry up and get there, but Ozawa's reaction was, "Oh, well. Can't be helped." The members all yell out "Cinema!" because he's forgiving of that kind of thing.
Ozawa also likes to image sweet things he'll say to a girl, so he challenges the members to fill-in-the-blanks for his short scripts.
First scene
boy: I'm thinking of starting boxing.
girl: In terms of martial arts, I don't really like it because it's barbaric.
boy: That might be true, but I want to be come stronger!!
girl: Why?
boy: Because the me that is ____ by your ____ every day is pathetic.
Right away, Ohkura seems to want to volunteer.
They go through the script and Ohkura's last line is, "Because the me that is KOed by your charm every day is pathetic." Itoda yells out, "Sweet!!" and Yasuba think that he's amazing. Ozawa says to Ohkura, "Welcome." Hina comments that Ohkura actually thought to use boxing terminology in his explanation. Yoko, since he's not good at this kind of thing, pokes holes into it by saying that if any of them were to ever say that to a girl in real life, they'd get laughed at. Ozawa doesn't agree because it's like what Westerners all say (I've said it before, but many Japanese people are ignorant of the world outside their country), but they do it cooly.
Ozawa says, "Further west is Italy" and everyone laughs like crazy because Hina says that it's so sweet that one can get cavities from it.
Second scene
girl: You're always teaching me all kinds of things, but I can't teach you anything.
boy: That's not true. You've taught me all kinds of things.
girl: For example?
boy: That real _____ don't have _____.
Yasu raises his hand and says that he thinks he can do this.
Yasu's last line is, "That real roses don't have thorns." People laugh and Itoda makes a face that says his line doesn't quite cut it. Yasu looks a bit crushed that his line didn't work, but Ozawa is nice and says that it was still wonderful which make Yasu smile brightly.
Ohkura, ever the realistic one, says, "Yeah, but real roses are full of thorns, right!" Yasu fails, so Hina tells Ryo to do it.
Ryo says that he will, but if he's going to do it, he'll do it in a way that truly reflects what he'd say in real life. Yoko says that Ryo is unexpectedly excited about this.
Ryo's last line which he delivers with a smirk goes like this: "That the real Cinderella isn't wearing glass slippers." Itoda yells out, "SWEET!" and Hina mentions that Ryo's example surpasses the one that Speedwagon came up with which is, "That real angels don't have wings." Ozawa asks if he can use it and Ryo tells him that it's totally fine.
Somehow I feel like he's lying. Or if he can say that mushy stuff, it's because he's talked himself into it and he'll probably run away as soon as he finishes the last syllable.
Itoda turns around and asks if Ryo, being a movie person, would use that kind of line in real life and Ryo says, "It's not a big deal. I can say that."
Segment 2 - I want to do this with Eito!
Being that they're comedians who've been in the business for a while, they, like their contemporaries who have been guests, want to display newish acts. The only difference is that the act they want to introduce has real abilities and they want K8 to experience what the act can do. They reveal that their kouhai has psychic abilities that they've seen numerous times, so they'd like everyone else to know. The guy who comes out is called KICK☆ and he sings some weird version of a dramatic movie song, but he sort of bumbles his way out.
Yoko's face!!
He introduces himself and Hina actually says that this is the second time that he and Yoko have met this guy because the first time was on Hirunandesu. Ozawa says that thanks to KICK, he was able to get three races in a row while at horse racing. KICK says that as a psychic, he acts as the catcher for all the psychic energy that flows around and Yoko says, "Well, your face really does look like a catcher," most likely referring to a catcher's mitt in baseball.
KICK pulls out a bunch of metal spoons and starts to give some grand speech when he messes up. He passes a spoon to each of them and asks all watchers to also hold a spoon and join along. He takes a long time and Hina tells him to hurry up. For some reason, KICK starts yelling out in English that this is a miracle, now is the time, etc.
Before starting the mental part, KICK wants people to stand up and get their bodies heated up by punching ten times, but nobody's keeping count, so they end up going past it until probably a director tells them. Now is when the mental starts and KICK says that they need to locate the chakra that's right below their stomach and I guess Hina and Ohkura are too childish because they laugh probably thinking that he means their genitals. However, KICK wants them to use the energy from the chakra he's talking about and bring it straight up to their forehead where they're supposed to put their spoons. KICK asks them to put that heat into the spoon and then wave the spoon around, pretending that it's soft. He says that while thinking of soft things and rubbing the neck of the spoon, after ten seconds, they should be able to bend the spoon very easily.
KICK's spoon bends easily and it seems like nobody else's does until Ozawa turns around and shouts because Maru's spoon is bent. KICK is so happy that he hugs Maru and starts shouting in English again.
Maru says that he didn't put energy in it and that it just bent really easily. Hina takes his bent spoon from him to test it and he says that it's hard now. Yoko, ever the disbeliever, wants to touch it, too. According to KICK, people who have always had psychic abilities are able to bend the spoon easily and Ozawa says that righteous/honest people who do as they're told can bend the spoon.
Yoko complains that even though he did as he was told, he couldn't bend the spoon as much as he tried. KICK tells him that he's got the form of a psychic and that his face looks like one. Yoko makes a weird face at the camera.
KICK says that with his psychic powers, he's going to cover his eyes, run to the fake wall, and stop right before he hits the wall. Everyone laughs like crazy and Hina even tests the wall saying that it's pretty hard. KICK does this weird thing to relax his body and it's kind of like he leaves his body and talks as if he's been possessed.
KICK does land before the wall… except that he's diagonal from it and he could go a bit further, so you see him scream and the others just laugh at his stupidity. KICK takes off his blindfold and says, "Aww, I was close!" but gets smacked for that.
He tries again, but while he's blindfolded, Itoda and Hina pick up the wall and bring it really close to him. Of course, he runs right into the wall.
Segment 3 - 3-ttack #1
This week's theme is sandwich. The store they're visiting is called Aux Bons Sandwiches Bigot in Ashiya, Hyogo (yay, Koichi-kun is from there!).
1. American Clubhouse sandwich
Of course, Ohkura eats first, but since it's filled with so many toppings, he has to open his mouth really big (probably not hard since his mouth becomes half his face when he laughs a lot).
Maru gets right in there and stuffs a corner of the sandwich in his mouth. Everyone seems to like it.
2. Prosciutto and Camembert baguette
Ohkura complains that the bread is hard so girls might not prefer it. Subaru says that he's talking like an old lady and Yoko points out that men and women's teeth are the same.
Yasu says that girls will like the taste and Hina agrees.
3. Avocado and Shrimp roll
Ohkura says that it's good and he says that if the bread is soft like this, girls will be able to eat it. Yoko again points out the flawed logic in the statement and says, "Girls can eat #2, too."
Many of them agree that this is the one that girls will like the most and Subaru tries to say something, but all that comes out is "Kan. Ko. Kan. This time, we'll win" (see notes 2).
Speedwagon + K8 think #3 and Ohkura thinks that it has to do with price, so he chooses #2.
Everyone except Hina and Ohkura come out dressed in gakuran (see notes 3) and Hina comes out… riding on Chii-chan. Hina knocks out Maru and Yasu, Subaru throws a sakura tree at him but gets smacked out, and Ryo tries to fight back but gets stomped on until he disappears.
Some huge bird comes in carrying Ohkura and drops him off.
Although Hina knocks Ohkura out, the bird comes back to first get rid of Hina and then drops Ohkura's lifeless body on #2.
Hina says that this is a bad way for Shishou to go and Subaru adds, "Yeah, it's what I did a lot of" so that's how he ended up losing his position. Ozawa says that they should have got the psychic to help them, but then he points at Yoko and says that he should get it since he's got the makings of a psychic.
Yoko lets his eyes roll back into his head and pretends that he's predicting. He says, "Number 2" and Ozawa tells him that the answer is already out so everyone laughs.
Segment 4 - JuniMaga
This is a continuation of the prior week with Hama-chan, Shigeoka and Kamiyama learning about stunts.
This week, they'll learn about wire action. Kamiyama goes first and he says that it's hard to get his body to move how he wants it.
The teacher says that if they put their arms straight down, it'll anchor them upright and it'll help them stop upright after spinning. Shigeoka goes next and spins in reverse. Hama-chan goes last and wants to try the famous breaking and entering scene from Tom Cruise's movie, "Mission: Impossible."
I'm guessing that Hama-chan is lacking in balance because he wavers a lot and when he gets down, he gets smacked on the head by his fellow reporters. The only point that the teacher can provide is to keep your body as straight as possible and use the muscles in your back and core to keep still.
They put a wooden doll on the mat as the treasure and Hama-chan can't do it, so when he gets pulled back up, he whines to be let down.
The next challenge they undertake is wall running.
A student from the stunt school shows the example and Shigeoka is the first one to try but it's really hard because there's timing and speed that they need to keep in mind.
He tries again and again and he finally gets it.
Shigeoka and Kamiyama say that they learned a lot and Kamiyama is really cool saying that he's grown as a man in the one day that they learned all about stunt work. Shigeoka puts an arm around him and says that he's so cool for saying that and the three thank the stunt teacher before calling it a day. Next week will be a new corner for Juniors.
Ending
At the end, they do their standard thanks and Ozawa asks if KICK's part will stay when this episode gets aired. Itoda says that he doesn't care about his pee story if it gets cut or not.
Yoko says that he thinks this might be the year for KICK, but Itoda says, "I don't think so" and everyone bursts out laughing.
End notes
1 bath water
I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with Japanese bathrooms, but for a large percentage of the population, many of them quickly shower first and then soak in the bath. That's why Ozawa says that some people who have to pee will do it while showering because it just gets washed down the drain, but Itoda does it in the bath water which is not okay, especially in families because the bath water is used by everyone. I know some of you might be totally grossed out by that thought of even sharing baths, but it's normal in Japan and you HAVE to shower before getting into the bath. That's why sometimes in dramas (or anime, I guess. I don't watch any), kids will tell on each other because so-and-so peed in the bath water.
2 Kan Ko Kan
It's not code or short-form for anything, but I didn't want to change the meaning. Subaru is TRYING to say "Konkai katteru yo" for "We'll win this time," but he's eating delicious food so it doesn't come out right.
3 gakuran and the school year
Japanese boys have only two kinds of uniforms: gakuran (black mandarin-collar jacket with usually gold buttons) or blazers. There are no rules for when you can wear them, but it's usually public schools that have gakuran and private schools with blazers because of the price difference. As for the reason why they've come out in gakuran with sakura trees around them, the beginning of April marks the start of the school and fiscal year all around Japan. Kids end school in March, get about 2 weeks of spring break, and head back to start a new school year in April, so that's why the trees are there because that's typically when the sakura trees are in full bloom.
SIIIIGH. I normally love comedians, but they weren't that funny and the only part that I enjoyed were them filling in the blanks to those scenes. I don't know, I think now that they've been doing the show for so long, they need to do some sort of total overhaul or some big change since it's getting to be tiresome. Whenever I read that a model is coming, I just roll my eyes because I know that 90% of the time, she'll be some bimbo with nothing interesting to say. They also do a LOT of repeat guests and I can understand that it's hard to get people to come since they film in Osaka, but can they please stop calling people after the third time? I don't ever want to see Yona or TamuKen again! I DO want to see Tutorial, though. Anyway, heads up, but if you saw the Minami Akina episode (which is much better than this one), Hina announces that in May, they'll be having a special episode with really big-name guests. That's all we know so far and I'm really excited because I'm hoping that it'll be Kinki Kids or Downtown.
Anyway, back to this episode. Maruuuu! Haha, I can totally see why he's the only one capable of bending the spoon. Unlike the rest of them, Maru still has the heart of a child and he's a believer to the point of naivete, so it makes sense since the rest of them all have varying degrees of doubt. I'm sure that Yoko, Hina and Ryo are like the most doubtful. They'll never bend a spoon with their minds as long as they live!
As for non-Janiben, I... have been neglecting all translating because my best friend introduced me to Doctor Who and now I'm SO obsessed. Matt Smith... drool. My ideal boyfriend. Sorry, Subaru. HAHA.
As always, DO NOT REPOST and DO NOT HOTLINK IMAGES.