Packing up Reid's Old LIfe
Title: Packing up Reid’s Old Life
Author: nancygrew
Rating: NC-17. No sex but there’s talk about it.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to ATWT
Notes: Written for the prompt ‘dirty mind’ for Fun Fic Fridays on LURE_ATWT. Takes place early October 2010. You do not have to read any of my other fic in order to understand this one.
Summary: Reid has to pack up his Dallas condo
Luke arrived home at the Walsh Estate guest cottage shortly after 7:00 in the evening. He grinned when he noticed his jeans-clad, shirtless boyfriend entering the living room from the kitchen. Reid was carrying a glass of lemonade and a plate topped with a Dagwood sandwich that arrogantly defied the laws of gravity and heartily laughed at the idea of gluttony being one of the deadly sins. Luke’s heart felt so full and happy and he wished that he could freeze this moment and wrap it up in pretty gold foil. The fact that he had someone to come home to, someone to love who loved him was mighty darn amazing and wonderful. The fact that his someone was Dr. Reid Oliver, self-proclaimed genius extraordinaire, was so unexpected and right that it made him want to laugh out loud.
“Hey,” greeted Reid. Reid placed his plate and glass upon the coffee table and then warmly kissed Luke. “You eat yet?”
Luke ran his tongue over his lips to savor Reid’s taste just a little bit longer. “Not yet.”
“You can have this sandwich,” said Reid. “I’ll go make myself another and pour a second glass of lemonade.”
“That’s okay,” smiled Luke. “I’m sort of afraid of getting a hernia if I attempt to pick up that sandwich. I’ll go make myself something a little less . . . deadly.”
“Suit yourself,” shrugged Reid. “But I really think this sandwich is a culinary masterpiece. I’m relatively certain that I’ve discovered the perfect condiment/meat/cheese/vegetable combination and ratios.”
“This is a pretty big moment for you then,” answered Luke. “I’m really happy for you.”
“Thanks!” smiled Reid. “Oh, there’s a mango chutney in the fridge that you’re going to really want to try. Trust me.”
Luke always trusted Reid when it came to food. He always trusted Reid. Period.
Luke put his briefcase on a chair and went into the kitchen to make himself a more reasonably sized sandwich. When he returned to the living room, he sat beside Reid on the couch. He always liked to scoot right up next to Reid. Luke loved that Reid never pushed him away when Luke wanted physical closeness. For someone who practically boasted about his own coldness, Reid was amazingly open to all forms of physical affection.
Luke and Reid ate and casually talked about their days.
“You done for the night?” asked Reid.
Luke groaned. “No. I have to read over some information about the health insurance options we currently offer employees and what our options are for the coming year. Then I have to go over some employee evaluations. How about you?”
“Just some medical journal articles I want to catch up on,” replied Reid. “Oh, I got a call from my Dallas real estate agent. She found someone to buy my place so I was going to fly down this weekend to pack up.”
Luke’s stomach clenched. “You must have some mixed feelings about that. How are you doing?”
Reid frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Well, you had a whole life there and it must be difficult to leave behind someplace that was your home for so long. Change can be difficult.”
Reid lay a hand along Luke’s face. Luke closed his eyes for a moment.
“I’m where I want to be,” asserted Reid.
“Okay, then,” smiled Luke. “I’ll make sure the Grimaldi jet is available---”
“Yeah, I’m not really comfortable with using corporate resources just to help me move,” said Reid. “It feels kind of Enron-y or something.”
“Then I’ll see if Grandmother’s jet is available. She owns her jet, not Worldwide,” shrugged Luke.
“Or I could consider the fiscal and moral costs of taking any sort of private jet just to get an opportunity to pack and decide to take a public flight with the rest of the hoi polloi,” said Reid after swallowing a mouthful of the Ultimate Sandwich.
Luke tried not to wince. He hated flying if it wasn’t on a private jet. Why, oh why, did he have to fall in love with a pinko commie who didn’t take the fruits of capitalism for granted. “Okay, I’ll make reservations for us.”
“I already made reservations for me,” said Reid. “You don’t have to come all the way to Dallas to help me pack.”
Luke frowned. “You don’t want me to come with you?”
“I don’t want to force you to have to reschedule your normal ‘I have to do about a dozen things for my various family members in order to make sure that everything runs smoothly for the Snyder menagerie’ stuff that you’ve probably already volunteered for,” said Reid.
Luke decided not to take the time to untangle whether that comment was a compliment or an insult. “Hey, remember that time I ruthlessly blackmailed you and upended your entire carefully-thought-out life?”
“You’re right. The least you can do is help me pack up my stuff.”
“Cool. If you give me an idea of how much stuff you have, I can rent a storage unit of an appropriate size.”
Reid shrugged. “I was just going to bring back clothes and some personal belongings. There should be room here for everything I’m bringing home to Oakweird. I figured I’d give the furniture and dishes and things to one of the local charity thrift shops in Dallas.”
“Oh,” said Luke, thinking about the fact that he had personal stuff here at the Walsh guest cottage, at his mom’s place and at his grandma’s place. Was it sad that Reid didn’t seem to have a lot of stuff or was it sad that Luke had an overabundance of stuff? Did varying amounts of stuff-ownership affect the health of romantic relationships? “I’ll make arrangements with a moving company for you.”
“I already made arrangements with UPS,” proffered Reid. “I figured I’d pack on Saturday. I’m having UPS pick up stuff on Sunday morning and having the thrift store pick up the stuff I’m giving away on Sunday afternoon. Then I, I mean my blackmailer and I, will fly back early Sunday evening.”
Luke scratched his ear.
“I don’t know what it says about me that you seem so surprised that I actually have a modicum of basic living skills after living on my own for many years,” said Reid dryly.
Luke smirked. “It’s possible that I assumed that since you can’t tell the difference between our bed and our clothes hamper, that you might be a little special in areas that are outside of the purview of brain surgery.”
“Hysterical, just hysterical.”
“Car,” said Luke quickly. “I can rent a car for when we’re in Dallas.”
“Already taken care of,” said Reid with exasperated affection. “You do know that people know you love them even when you’re not trying to take care of everything for them, right?”
“I know that,” hurriedly claimed Luke. His face felt warm. He wondered if he was being too pushy again.
Reid place on of his hands on Luke’s cheek. “Hey, I get that you like to nurture the people you love. I don’t have a problem with it. I just want to make sure you know that you don’t have to carry the entire load here.”
“Good to know,” said a reassured Luke. He leaned in to kiss Reid. It was sweet and gentle.
After a moment, Reid pulled back.
Luke pouted.
Reid smacked Luke’s cheek lightly. “You brought work home with you that you wanted to get to.”
Luke pouted squared.
Reid huffed a laugh. “Do the insurance stuff first, and I’ll give you a reward.”
“What kind of reward?”
The look Reid shot Luke was so filthy and delicious that Luke laughed with joy. Then he buckled down and did his insurance homework as quick as he could.
When Saturday morning rolled around, Luke really tried to hide how little he was looking forward to flying on something other than a private jet.
Reid paused in process of packing his overnight bag. “Why are you changing your socks for the third time?”
“I want to make sure that my socks don’t have any snags or loose threads,” answered Luke as though the answer was obvious.
“Why?”
“When I go through Security, I don’t want the TSA agents to see me wearing hideous socks,” explained Luke. “They make you take off your shoes on public flights when you check in.”
“The TSA agents aren’t going to arrest people because of socks issues,” said Reid rolling his eyes. “Unless you wear those socks with the glittery Elvis images on them that your sister gave you. Those are probably at least a misdemeanor.”
Luke huffed but didn’t reply. Wearing appropriate socks during security check-ins was just common courtesy.
When they got to the airport, Luke was careful not to be whiny about how much longer it took to go through security than if they had just taken Grandmother’s jet. He didn’t whine when the TSA agent was far more than what could reasonably be considered thorough during the pat down, thank you very much. He didn’t whine about the horrid crush of humanity once everyone was boarded. He felt quite virtuous.
Then the plane just sat there on the tarmac for ages. He decided that it would be okay if he whined just a little bit. He looked over at Reid who was watching him with amused eyes.
“This is killing you, isn’t it?” asked Reid gleefully.
“Not at all,” lied Luke. “The tiny inconveniences are far outweighed by the savings to the environment. I’m really happy that we’re flying to Dallas this way.”
It was at this moment that a small child sitting in the row behind Luke and Reid decided to kick the back of Luke’s seat. Luke sighed. When Reid laughed, Luke glared at him to no effect.
The plane eventually took flight. At one point, Luke could tell that Reid was beginning to be affected by claustrophobia. He took Reid’s hand in his and rubbed his thumb along the back of Reid’s hand. Luke was relieved that Reid’s nerves eased immediately. He hated whenever Reid suffered. Usually. Luke didn’t mind Reid suffering a little bit when it came to forcing Reid to interact socially with people. It was good for his character. Plus? Now that Luke was used to it, it was usually pretty amusing.
Eventually the flight arrived at Dallas and Luke and the other cattle were allowed to disembark.
Luke and Reid picked up their rental car and drove towards Reid’s condo. They stopped on the way to pick up boxes and packing supplies. Reid raised his brow but didn’t make any snarky comments when Luke got a little bit enthusiastic about the various types of bubble wrap.
Luke was careful not to be critical of Reid’s obvious lack of interest in décor when they arrived at Reid’s rather impersonal condo. He suspected that when Reid had bought his condo, he had driven to the nearest furniture store and selected the pieces of furniture that were closest to the entrance.
They had barely begun to pack when Reid got a phone call from his former hospital. Reid hurriedly explained to Luke that he had mentioned to one of his former colleagues that he was going to be in town for the weekend and the colleague was calling about an emergency admission that was in Reid’s wheel house. Reid offered a semi-apologetic explanation that involved descriptions of mystery brain tumors with improbable symptoms but Luke merely patted him on the butt and wished him luck as he shooed Reid out of the condo.
Luke decided to concentrate on packing up the stuff in Reid’s bedroom first. Clothes were easy to pack. Luke briefly wondered how many maroon-colored button down shirts Reid owned. Luke decided that there must have been some sort of major sale. In Reid’s closet, Luke discovered a medium-sized cardboard box. The box’s lid was closed. Luke hesitated to open it. What if it was porn? It’s not that Luke was some kind of prude but going through Reid’s porn seemed like a huge invasion of privacy. He decided to leave the box closed and to place it in the middle of the living room.
Whenever Luke finished packing a box, he brought it into the living room. He put the ‘To Be Shipped Home’ boxes on one side of the room and the ‘Stuff that Reid Probably has No Emotional Attachment to and Wants to Give to Charity’ boxes on the opposite side of the room. He carefully labeled the contents on the side of the charity boxes so that Reid could tell at a quick glance what was in each box. Luke didn’t want to accidentally give something away that had sentimental value.
Every time he brought a box into the living room, Luke was momentarily distracted by the Mystery Box. He imagined it pulsating to the soundtrack of a porn movie. “Luuuuke! Open me!” it seemed to call out to him.
Luke started to worry that the box was full of porn starring men who were nothing like Luke. Maybe Reid was into porn starring . . . older intellectuals. Maybe the men in the porn wore tweed jackets with leather elbow patches and smoked pipes while they fucked. Luke would hate it if he discovered that Reid’s type was anything other than Luke.
Then Luke started to worry that the box was full of porn starring men who were exactly like Luke. Maybe the porn was full of younger, blond men who were cloyingly naïve. Luke wasn’t quite sure how porn would demonstrate that the stars were cloyingly naïve but that wasn’t the point. Luke would hate it if he discovered that Reid’s mind-boggling attraction to him was mainly based on Reid’s preferred physical type and that it wasn’t Luke’s soul that was his primary attraction to Reid.
Then Luke started to worry that the box was full of weird stuff. He realized that he had nowhere near the experience that Reid had when it came to sex; Luke tried not to think about the fact that he could probably count the number of times that he and Noah had sex and still have fingers left over. But Luke had felt that he and Reid were extraordinarily compatible in bed. What if Reid was just taking it easy on Luke and was biding his time until he wanted to try . . . golden showers? Luke wouldn’t judge somebody based upon their sexual preferences but he really didn’t want to get peed on.
Luke resolutely put the Mystery Box out of his mind before he drove himself insane. It probably wasn’t even porn.
After he had finished packing up nearly everything, Luke took a shower. It was while he was in the shower that Reid triumphantly returned from his successful completion of yet another extraordinary surgery that should be celebrated in a power ballad. Luke was amused that those were Reid’s exact words. Then Reid hopped into the shower with Luke to ‘thank’ him for doing all of the boring packing. And it was good. More than good. Luke really loved sex with Reid. .
Afterwards, they put on clean boxers and headed to the living room to enjoy the pizza that Reid had brought home with him. It was cold but that was a small price to pay so that they could enjoy shower sex.
They curled up on Reid’s blandly upholstered sofa.
“I realize I should be feeling guilty about sticking you with the packing,” offered Reid. “But apparently I’m not that good a person. But I am grateful to you.”
Luke shrugged. He tried to be nonchalant. “I wasn’t sure what you wanted to do with the box in the middle there.”
Reid looked at Luke incredulously. “You think I want to give my porn to charity?”
Luke gave a nervous laugh. “I didn’t open it! I didn’t want to invade your privacy.”
“Yeah, ‘cause I have so many secrets from you,” said Reid while rolling his eyes. “I can’t believe you didn’t check out my porn. What kind of a weirdo are you?”
“Porn’s private,” sniffed Luke.
Reid narrowed his eyes. “Now that I think of it, it’s weird that I’ve never come across your porn. I bet your porn is full of soft lighting and whispered words of love, isn’t it? And harp music.”
“I don’t have any porn,” said Luke. “Not that I’m against porn or anything.”
“You don’t have any porn?” asked a scandalized-sounding Reid. “How can you not have porn?”
“I’ve usually lived at my Mom’s or my Grandma’s,” explained Luke more defensively than he meant to sound. “I didn’t want to risk them finding it.”
“Like there’re no hiding places at The Farm of Drama,” said Reid.
“Not good ones. When I was ten, I found a stash of porn hidden in the barn that indicates that at some point in the early eighties, either my dad or one of his brothers had a thing for Asian dominatrixes.”
Reid grinned delightedly. “At the next Snyder hoedown, I’m going to bring up Sailor Moon and see if your dad’s pupils dilate.”
“When I was eleven, I found a stash of porn hidden in the attic that indicates that at some point in the late seventies, one of my aunts had a thing for freakishly well-endowed men with eyeglasses.”
“How well-endowed?” asked a too-interested-for-Luke’s-taste Reid.
Luke sniffed daintily and ignored the fact that Reid wasn’t being nearly sympathetic enough about Luke’s porn discovery traumas.
“You know, the eyeglass kink porn might not have belonged to one of your aunts,” offered Reid. “It might be your grandma’s porn.”
Luke made a disgusted face. “First of all, shut up about my grandma owning porn. Second of all, shut up about my grandma owning porn.”
“Sociological studies indicate that human sexuality---”
Luke hurriedly covered Reid’s mouth. “I’m begging you.”
When Reid shrugged, Luke removed his hand.
“Well, you and Noah lived together for awhile, right?” asked Reid.
“We only lived together in our own place for a short time before the whole fireworks thing happened,” shrugged Luke. “But I wouldn’t have brought porn home with me when I lived with Noah.”
“Were you afraid that that he was an uptight prude that would have judged you or were you afraid that porn would just be one more random thing that he would have used as an opportunity to make you feel bad about yourself?” asked Reid.
Luke shifted uncomfortably. “You know that Noah isn’t evil, right?”
“I notice you didn’t answer the question.”
“So . . . what kind of porn do you have?”
Reid grinned.
“Wait!” Luke said in a rush. “Don’t tell me. Maybe we should maintain the mystery.”
Reid stood and pulled Luke up. He handed the pizza box to Luke and picked up the Box of Porn. He nodded his head in the universal sign of ‘follow me’ and headed off to the bedroom. Luke followed nervously.
It turned out that Luke really liked Reid’s porn. And thankfully there was no pee involved.
Author: nancygrew
Rating: NC-17. No sex but there’s talk about it.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to ATWT
Notes: Written for the prompt ‘dirty mind’ for Fun Fic Fridays on LURE_ATWT. Takes place early October 2010. You do not have to read any of my other fic in order to understand this one.
Summary: Reid has to pack up his Dallas condo
Luke arrived home at the Walsh Estate guest cottage shortly after 7:00 in the evening. He grinned when he noticed his jeans-clad, shirtless boyfriend entering the living room from the kitchen. Reid was carrying a glass of lemonade and a plate topped with a Dagwood sandwich that arrogantly defied the laws of gravity and heartily laughed at the idea of gluttony being one of the deadly sins. Luke’s heart felt so full and happy and he wished that he could freeze this moment and wrap it up in pretty gold foil. The fact that he had someone to come home to, someone to love who loved him was mighty darn amazing and wonderful. The fact that his someone was Dr. Reid Oliver, self-proclaimed genius extraordinaire, was so unexpected and right that it made him want to laugh out loud.
“Hey,” greeted Reid. Reid placed his plate and glass upon the coffee table and then warmly kissed Luke. “You eat yet?”
Luke ran his tongue over his lips to savor Reid’s taste just a little bit longer. “Not yet.”
“You can have this sandwich,” said Reid. “I’ll go make myself another and pour a second glass of lemonade.”
“That’s okay,” smiled Luke. “I’m sort of afraid of getting a hernia if I attempt to pick up that sandwich. I’ll go make myself something a little less . . . deadly.”
“Suit yourself,” shrugged Reid. “But I really think this sandwich is a culinary masterpiece. I’m relatively certain that I’ve discovered the perfect condiment/meat/cheese/vegetable combination and ratios.”
“This is a pretty big moment for you then,” answered Luke. “I’m really happy for you.”
“Thanks!” smiled Reid. “Oh, there’s a mango chutney in the fridge that you’re going to really want to try. Trust me.”
Luke always trusted Reid when it came to food. He always trusted Reid. Period.
Luke put his briefcase on a chair and went into the kitchen to make himself a more reasonably sized sandwich. When he returned to the living room, he sat beside Reid on the couch. He always liked to scoot right up next to Reid. Luke loved that Reid never pushed him away when Luke wanted physical closeness. For someone who practically boasted about his own coldness, Reid was amazingly open to all forms of physical affection.
Luke and Reid ate and casually talked about their days.
“You done for the night?” asked Reid.
Luke groaned. “No. I have to read over some information about the health insurance options we currently offer employees and what our options are for the coming year. Then I have to go over some employee evaluations. How about you?”
“Just some medical journal articles I want to catch up on,” replied Reid. “Oh, I got a call from my Dallas real estate agent. She found someone to buy my place so I was going to fly down this weekend to pack up.”
Luke’s stomach clenched. “You must have some mixed feelings about that. How are you doing?”
Reid frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Well, you had a whole life there and it must be difficult to leave behind someplace that was your home for so long. Change can be difficult.”
Reid lay a hand along Luke’s face. Luke closed his eyes for a moment.
“I’m where I want to be,” asserted Reid.
“Okay, then,” smiled Luke. “I’ll make sure the Grimaldi jet is available---”
“Yeah, I’m not really comfortable with using corporate resources just to help me move,” said Reid. “It feels kind of Enron-y or something.”
“Then I’ll see if Grandmother’s jet is available. She owns her jet, not Worldwide,” shrugged Luke.
“Or I could consider the fiscal and moral costs of taking any sort of private jet just to get an opportunity to pack and decide to take a public flight with the rest of the hoi polloi,” said Reid after swallowing a mouthful of the Ultimate Sandwich.
Luke tried not to wince. He hated flying if it wasn’t on a private jet. Why, oh why, did he have to fall in love with a pinko commie who didn’t take the fruits of capitalism for granted. “Okay, I’ll make reservations for us.”
“I already made reservations for me,” said Reid. “You don’t have to come all the way to Dallas to help me pack.”
Luke frowned. “You don’t want me to come with you?”
“I don’t want to force you to have to reschedule your normal ‘I have to do about a dozen things for my various family members in order to make sure that everything runs smoothly for the Snyder menagerie’ stuff that you’ve probably already volunteered for,” said Reid.
Luke decided not to take the time to untangle whether that comment was a compliment or an insult. “Hey, remember that time I ruthlessly blackmailed you and upended your entire carefully-thought-out life?”
“You’re right. The least you can do is help me pack up my stuff.”
“Cool. If you give me an idea of how much stuff you have, I can rent a storage unit of an appropriate size.”
Reid shrugged. “I was just going to bring back clothes and some personal belongings. There should be room here for everything I’m bringing home to Oakweird. I figured I’d give the furniture and dishes and things to one of the local charity thrift shops in Dallas.”
“Oh,” said Luke, thinking about the fact that he had personal stuff here at the Walsh guest cottage, at his mom’s place and at his grandma’s place. Was it sad that Reid didn’t seem to have a lot of stuff or was it sad that Luke had an overabundance of stuff? Did varying amounts of stuff-ownership affect the health of romantic relationships? “I’ll make arrangements with a moving company for you.”
“I already made arrangements with UPS,” proffered Reid. “I figured I’d pack on Saturday. I’m having UPS pick up stuff on Sunday morning and having the thrift store pick up the stuff I’m giving away on Sunday afternoon. Then I, I mean my blackmailer and I, will fly back early Sunday evening.”
Luke scratched his ear.
“I don’t know what it says about me that you seem so surprised that I actually have a modicum of basic living skills after living on my own for many years,” said Reid dryly.
Luke smirked. “It’s possible that I assumed that since you can’t tell the difference between our bed and our clothes hamper, that you might be a little special in areas that are outside of the purview of brain surgery.”
“Hysterical, just hysterical.”
“Car,” said Luke quickly. “I can rent a car for when we’re in Dallas.”
“Already taken care of,” said Reid with exasperated affection. “You do know that people know you love them even when you’re not trying to take care of everything for them, right?”
“I know that,” hurriedly claimed Luke. His face felt warm. He wondered if he was being too pushy again.
Reid place on of his hands on Luke’s cheek. “Hey, I get that you like to nurture the people you love. I don’t have a problem with it. I just want to make sure you know that you don’t have to carry the entire load here.”
“Good to know,” said a reassured Luke. He leaned in to kiss Reid. It was sweet and gentle.
After a moment, Reid pulled back.
Luke pouted.
Reid smacked Luke’s cheek lightly. “You brought work home with you that you wanted to get to.”
Luke pouted squared.
Reid huffed a laugh. “Do the insurance stuff first, and I’ll give you a reward.”
“What kind of reward?”
The look Reid shot Luke was so filthy and delicious that Luke laughed with joy. Then he buckled down and did his insurance homework as quick as he could.
When Saturday morning rolled around, Luke really tried to hide how little he was looking forward to flying on something other than a private jet.
Reid paused in process of packing his overnight bag. “Why are you changing your socks for the third time?”
“I want to make sure that my socks don’t have any snags or loose threads,” answered Luke as though the answer was obvious.
“Why?”
“When I go through Security, I don’t want the TSA agents to see me wearing hideous socks,” explained Luke. “They make you take off your shoes on public flights when you check in.”
“The TSA agents aren’t going to arrest people because of socks issues,” said Reid rolling his eyes. “Unless you wear those socks with the glittery Elvis images on them that your sister gave you. Those are probably at least a misdemeanor.”
Luke huffed but didn’t reply. Wearing appropriate socks during security check-ins was just common courtesy.
When they got to the airport, Luke was careful not to be whiny about how much longer it took to go through security than if they had just taken Grandmother’s jet. He didn’t whine when the TSA agent was far more than what could reasonably be considered thorough during the pat down, thank you very much. He didn’t whine about the horrid crush of humanity once everyone was boarded. He felt quite virtuous.
Then the plane just sat there on the tarmac for ages. He decided that it would be okay if he whined just a little bit. He looked over at Reid who was watching him with amused eyes.
“This is killing you, isn’t it?” asked Reid gleefully.
“Not at all,” lied Luke. “The tiny inconveniences are far outweighed by the savings to the environment. I’m really happy that we’re flying to Dallas this way.”
It was at this moment that a small child sitting in the row behind Luke and Reid decided to kick the back of Luke’s seat. Luke sighed. When Reid laughed, Luke glared at him to no effect.
The plane eventually took flight. At one point, Luke could tell that Reid was beginning to be affected by claustrophobia. He took Reid’s hand in his and rubbed his thumb along the back of Reid’s hand. Luke was relieved that Reid’s nerves eased immediately. He hated whenever Reid suffered. Usually. Luke didn’t mind Reid suffering a little bit when it came to forcing Reid to interact socially with people. It was good for his character. Plus? Now that Luke was used to it, it was usually pretty amusing.
Eventually the flight arrived at Dallas and Luke and the other cattle were allowed to disembark.
Luke and Reid picked up their rental car and drove towards Reid’s condo. They stopped on the way to pick up boxes and packing supplies. Reid raised his brow but didn’t make any snarky comments when Luke got a little bit enthusiastic about the various types of bubble wrap.
Luke was careful not to be critical of Reid’s obvious lack of interest in décor when they arrived at Reid’s rather impersonal condo. He suspected that when Reid had bought his condo, he had driven to the nearest furniture store and selected the pieces of furniture that were closest to the entrance.
They had barely begun to pack when Reid got a phone call from his former hospital. Reid hurriedly explained to Luke that he had mentioned to one of his former colleagues that he was going to be in town for the weekend and the colleague was calling about an emergency admission that was in Reid’s wheel house. Reid offered a semi-apologetic explanation that involved descriptions of mystery brain tumors with improbable symptoms but Luke merely patted him on the butt and wished him luck as he shooed Reid out of the condo.
Luke decided to concentrate on packing up the stuff in Reid’s bedroom first. Clothes were easy to pack. Luke briefly wondered how many maroon-colored button down shirts Reid owned. Luke decided that there must have been some sort of major sale. In Reid’s closet, Luke discovered a medium-sized cardboard box. The box’s lid was closed. Luke hesitated to open it. What if it was porn? It’s not that Luke was some kind of prude but going through Reid’s porn seemed like a huge invasion of privacy. He decided to leave the box closed and to place it in the middle of the living room.
Whenever Luke finished packing a box, he brought it into the living room. He put the ‘To Be Shipped Home’ boxes on one side of the room and the ‘Stuff that Reid Probably has No Emotional Attachment to and Wants to Give to Charity’ boxes on the opposite side of the room. He carefully labeled the contents on the side of the charity boxes so that Reid could tell at a quick glance what was in each box. Luke didn’t want to accidentally give something away that had sentimental value.
Every time he brought a box into the living room, Luke was momentarily distracted by the Mystery Box. He imagined it pulsating to the soundtrack of a porn movie. “Luuuuke! Open me!” it seemed to call out to him.
Luke started to worry that the box was full of porn starring men who were nothing like Luke. Maybe Reid was into porn starring . . . older intellectuals. Maybe the men in the porn wore tweed jackets with leather elbow patches and smoked pipes while they fucked. Luke would hate it if he discovered that Reid’s type was anything other than Luke.
Then Luke started to worry that the box was full of porn starring men who were exactly like Luke. Maybe the porn was full of younger, blond men who were cloyingly naïve. Luke wasn’t quite sure how porn would demonstrate that the stars were cloyingly naïve but that wasn’t the point. Luke would hate it if he discovered that Reid’s mind-boggling attraction to him was mainly based on Reid’s preferred physical type and that it wasn’t Luke’s soul that was his primary attraction to Reid.
Then Luke started to worry that the box was full of weird stuff. He realized that he had nowhere near the experience that Reid had when it came to sex; Luke tried not to think about the fact that he could probably count the number of times that he and Noah had sex and still have fingers left over. But Luke had felt that he and Reid were extraordinarily compatible in bed. What if Reid was just taking it easy on Luke and was biding his time until he wanted to try . . . golden showers? Luke wouldn’t judge somebody based upon their sexual preferences but he really didn’t want to get peed on.
Luke resolutely put the Mystery Box out of his mind before he drove himself insane. It probably wasn’t even porn.
After he had finished packing up nearly everything, Luke took a shower. It was while he was in the shower that Reid triumphantly returned from his successful completion of yet another extraordinary surgery that should be celebrated in a power ballad. Luke was amused that those were Reid’s exact words. Then Reid hopped into the shower with Luke to ‘thank’ him for doing all of the boring packing. And it was good. More than good. Luke really loved sex with Reid. .
Afterwards, they put on clean boxers and headed to the living room to enjoy the pizza that Reid had brought home with him. It was cold but that was a small price to pay so that they could enjoy shower sex.
They curled up on Reid’s blandly upholstered sofa.
“I realize I should be feeling guilty about sticking you with the packing,” offered Reid. “But apparently I’m not that good a person. But I am grateful to you.”
Luke shrugged. He tried to be nonchalant. “I wasn’t sure what you wanted to do with the box in the middle there.”
Reid looked at Luke incredulously. “You think I want to give my porn to charity?”
Luke gave a nervous laugh. “I didn’t open it! I didn’t want to invade your privacy.”
“Yeah, ‘cause I have so many secrets from you,” said Reid while rolling his eyes. “I can’t believe you didn’t check out my porn. What kind of a weirdo are you?”
“Porn’s private,” sniffed Luke.
Reid narrowed his eyes. “Now that I think of it, it’s weird that I’ve never come across your porn. I bet your porn is full of soft lighting and whispered words of love, isn’t it? And harp music.”
“I don’t have any porn,” said Luke. “Not that I’m against porn or anything.”
“You don’t have any porn?” asked a scandalized-sounding Reid. “How can you not have porn?”
“I’ve usually lived at my Mom’s or my Grandma’s,” explained Luke more defensively than he meant to sound. “I didn’t want to risk them finding it.”
“Like there’re no hiding places at The Farm of Drama,” said Reid.
“Not good ones. When I was ten, I found a stash of porn hidden in the barn that indicates that at some point in the early eighties, either my dad or one of his brothers had a thing for Asian dominatrixes.”
Reid grinned delightedly. “At the next Snyder hoedown, I’m going to bring up Sailor Moon and see if your dad’s pupils dilate.”
“When I was eleven, I found a stash of porn hidden in the attic that indicates that at some point in the late seventies, one of my aunts had a thing for freakishly well-endowed men with eyeglasses.”
“How well-endowed?” asked a too-interested-for-Luke’s-taste Reid.
Luke sniffed daintily and ignored the fact that Reid wasn’t being nearly sympathetic enough about Luke’s porn discovery traumas.
“You know, the eyeglass kink porn might not have belonged to one of your aunts,” offered Reid. “It might be your grandma’s porn.”
Luke made a disgusted face. “First of all, shut up about my grandma owning porn. Second of all, shut up about my grandma owning porn.”
“Sociological studies indicate that human sexuality---”
Luke hurriedly covered Reid’s mouth. “I’m begging you.”
When Reid shrugged, Luke removed his hand.
“Well, you and Noah lived together for awhile, right?” asked Reid.
“We only lived together in our own place for a short time before the whole fireworks thing happened,” shrugged Luke. “But I wouldn’t have brought porn home with me when I lived with Noah.”
“Were you afraid that that he was an uptight prude that would have judged you or were you afraid that porn would just be one more random thing that he would have used as an opportunity to make you feel bad about yourself?” asked Reid.
Luke shifted uncomfortably. “You know that Noah isn’t evil, right?”
“I notice you didn’t answer the question.”
“So . . . what kind of porn do you have?”
Reid grinned.
“Wait!” Luke said in a rush. “Don’t tell me. Maybe we should maintain the mystery.”
Reid stood and pulled Luke up. He handed the pizza box to Luke and picked up the Box of Porn. He nodded his head in the universal sign of ‘follow me’ and headed off to the bedroom. Luke followed nervously.
It turned out that Luke really liked Reid’s porn. And thankfully there was no pee involved.