Frankly, Holden, Reid Doesn't Give a Damn
Title: Frankly, Holden, Reid Doesn’t Give a Damn
Author: nancygrew
Notes: Takes place mid November 2010. Written for Lure_ATWT's Fun Fic Fridays for the Prompt "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a dman".
Rating: G
Disclaimer: characters belong to ATWT
Summary: Reid Arrives at the Snyder Farm to pick up Luke for a date night
Reid walked into the homey [and painfully quaint] kitchen of the Snyder farmhouse. The chaos indicated that it was obviously one of Holden’s nights to have custody of his underage spawn. Ethan was running around the kitchen flapping his arms and making deep growling noises; Reid had no idea what animal [or demon] Ethan was imitating. Natalie was sitting at the kitchen table singing off-key about President James K. Polk for some reason known only to herself and building a diorama. Faith and Holden were standing in a corner bickering; Faiths arms were flying about in the air as she dramatically protested the unfairness of . . . well, apparently of everything ever. But most specifically about how Holden wanted Faith to prove that she was a responsible teenager by trying to get a part time job over Christmas break.
Reid glanced around for Luke. He was kind of hoping that he could grab his man and just get the Hell out. He had plans for the night. Reid put two fingers into his mouth and let out a shrill whistle. Everyone froze. Reid felt that it was unfortunate that everyone unfroze after a moment. Man, would it be great if he had the supernatural power of freezing everyone into statues permanently.
“Reid!” screeched Ethan who rushed up to Reid and bashed his head against Reid’s thigh in greeting.
“Ouch, you odious ruffian,” said Reid dryly to the randomly violent tyke.
As Ethan grinned brightly in response to the greeting, Reid didn’t worry that his name-calling was going to permanently traumatize him.
“Hey, Reid!” called Natalie as she waved exuberantly at him from her place at the kitchen table. “You staying for supper?”
“Not even if you paid me,” replied Reid.
“If Luke batted his eyes at you, you’d stay,” smirked Faith.
Reid decided that the better part of valor would be to ignore that comment. “Where is Richie Rich?”
Luke entered the kitchen from the porch. He was wiping his oily hands with a rag. His hair was artfully mussed and a streak of grease fell along one cheekbone. Reid was torn between thinking that his boyfriend looked adorable and that he looked like rough trade. Adorable rough trade, perhaps?
Luke grinned at Reid. “I’d kiss you but I’m all dirty and I don’t want to mess up your pretty, pretty suit. Hey, why are you in a pretty, pretty suit?”
“Date night. I’m not on call so you and I are heading out to Chicago for the night,” replied Reid. “Do you have a change of clothes here?”
Luke bounced a little on his feet. “One of my suits is in the closet of my old room.”
“Then shoo,” ordered Reid. “Go shower and change. By the way, maybe you should shower twice. You reek.”
Luke rolled his eyes. “Dad, I got the tractor running again but it’s just going to be another temporary fix. I think we really need to just go ahead and buy Grandma a new tractor.”
“Son, she’s adamant about not replacing the old one needlessly,” replied Holden. “We have to respect her wishes.”
“Luke!” screeched Ethan.
“Hey, buddy,” replied Luke while ruffling Ethan’s hair.
“Stay for supper!” demanded Ethan.
“I can’t tonight,” said Luke. “I’ve got a big date with my boyfriend. But how about you and me having lunch tomorrow, just the two of us?”
“Just the two of us?” asked an excited Ethan. “Can we get macaroni and popcorn?”
“Sure. Maybe we can come up with a plan over lunch about how to get Grandma to accept a new tractor.”
“Her birthday’s coming up!” said Ethan. “Last year when all her grandkids worked together to build her a new chicken coop, she really liked that. She said it was the best present ever.”
“A chicken coop? Don’t make a comment about dementia, don’t make a comment about dementia,” thought Reid to himself.
“That’s a great idea, Ethan,” said Luke. “If the new tractor was a present from all of her grandkids, I bet she’d love it.”
Ethan beamed proudly. Then he roared like a lion and skipped out of the room. Reid wondered if he should get the kid a head scan.
“Luke, come look at my diorama before you go shower,” demanded Natalie.
Luke walked over to his youngest sister and rested a hand upon her shoulder while he checked out her school project. “Wow, Natalie, this is great. I take it Mrs. Newman is, once again, making her class do a diorama for Thanksgiving.”
“Yep,” said Natalie.
Holden walked over and looked at the diorama. “Natalie, the people don’t look like pilgrims.”
“I think Natalie’s decided to portray the first Thanksgiving as historically accurate instead of the way it’s always pictured in media,” said Luke. “They probably only wore the solemn colors on religious occasions. Most of time they probably wore colored clothing.”
“Maybe you should show the pilgrims the way people expect them to look,” suggested Holden. “If I remember Mrs. Newman correctly, she wasn’t an . . . advanced thinker.”
Reid almost laughed out loud at Natalie’s shocked expression at the idea of not doing a school assignment to the best of her ability.
“Whoa!” said Luke. “Is that eel and venison you have on the table?”
“Yes!” exclaimed Natalie. “Pretty awesome, huh?”
“Really fantastic,” said Luke. “I think it’s very cool that you’ve obviously gone to a whole lot of trouble to research everything.”
“When you did one for Mrs. Newman’s class, did you do everything accurate?” asked Natalie.
“Would you be embarrassed to be my little sister if I confessed that I just stood my GI Joe action figures around a shoebox which I had drawn pictures of food on?”
Natalie squealed with laughter.
Luke gently tugged on a lock of her hair in affection. He turned towards Faith. “Hey, Faithie, do you have any interest in an internship at the foundation over Christmas break? It would look good on your college applications and I could really use the help.”
Faith shot her father a look of triumph [and hatred] before smiling at Luke. “Well, I’m not cheap. I’ll need an expense account and an administrative assistant slash dancing boy.”
Luke grinned. “I’m thinking more along the lines of minimum wage and all the paper clips you can pilfer. I’ll call you tomorrow night about it.”
“’kay,” said a grinning Faith.
“Hey, Stinky,” called Reid. “Let’s get a move on.”
Luke whispered conspiratorially to his sisters. “’Stinky’ is Reid’s version of ‘My Beloved Soul-mate’.”
Luke strolled out of the kitchen to the sound of his sisters’ giggles.
Ethan ran back into the room and planted himself in front of Reid. “When you’re on your date with Luke, are you gonna kiss him?”
“If he asks nicely,” replied Reid.
“Are you gonna kiss him on the mouth?”
“If he asks nicely.”
“Ewww. There’s lots of germs in kissing,” laughed Ethan.
“I think it’s a little odd that you’re worried about how sanitary kissing is when I know for a fact that I saw you eat a caterpillar last weekend,” huffed Reid.
“JJ gave me a dollar,” shrugged Ethan. Ethan hugged Reid’s left thigh affectionately and then ran out of the room.
Reid turned towards the kitchen table to where Faith and Natalie were sitting beside one another. “And that kid’s still one of the more normal ones of the Snyder miscellany.”
“Come look at my project while Luke’s showering,” invited Natalie.
“There’s nothing I love more than school projects revolving around the hypocritical celebration of the beginnings of the European and Native Americans relationship,” muttered Reid as he sat beside Natalie. “Let’s all commemorate the three days of feasting that the two cultures shared before one of them was all but wiped off the map.”
“I thought about including a pile of blankets in the corner to foreshadow the future where Europeans give the Natives smallpox-infested blankets but decided that it might be a little dark for Mrs. Newman,” said Natalie.
“Geez, it’s too dark for me,” muttered Faith.
Natalie patted Faith comfortingly on the back.
“So, what’s the occasion for taking Luke out on a date?” asked Faith.
Reid shrugged. “He’s pretty. I’m pretty. Chicago’s had a tough time, what with the Cubs and the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre and all. It deserves a break by us letting it see the synergistic results of our combined prettiness.”
Natalie giggled and Faith smirked.
“Natalie, why don’t you take your project upstairs so that I can set the table for supper?” suggested Holden.
Natalie and Faith left the kitchen, hauling the project upstairs.
Holden sat down at the kitchen table across from Reid. Reid really hoped he wasn’t going to be expected to make small talk about any of Holden’s interests, like horses or marrying and/or impregnating women.
“I have some concerns about your relationship with my son,” began a solemn Holden.
“Okay,” said Reid.
“One of the things I’m concerned about is the age difference.”
“Uh, when I said ‘okay’ I was acknowledging your feelings, not asking you to share those concerns with me.”
“You don’t care that I have concerns?”
“Not at all,” replied Reid. “Luke’s a grown man. He doesn’t need Mommy or Daddy or Other Daddy’s permission to be involved with someone.”
“He’s very young,” lectured Holden.
“He founded and runs a multi-million dollar foundation, he’s making decisions about the international shipping company that his criminal semi-mastermind father gave him, and he’s involved in building a world-class neurology wing,” said Reid. “Luke’s running with the big dogs now. He’s not your little snicker doodle any more.”
Holden sighed. “I grant you that Luke is mature for his age---”
“I think folks tend to grow up fast after their second or third kidnapping.”
“---but he has a gentle soul.”
“You’re infantilizing him by not recognizing that he has other aspects to him than being The Good Son or the Adoring Big Brother.”
“You called him ‘Stinky’!” huffed Holden angrily.
Reid laughed. “Really? That’s what’s stuck in your craw?”
“You embarrassed him.”
“Did not, you big doofus.”
“I won’t have you being emotionally abusive to my child.”
Reid sobered. “Wow. I think I’m done being completely indifferent about your concerns and I’m starting to get annoyed. Being lectured by someone who broke his fiancee’s heart by running off to Paris after his ex-wife is really insulting.”
“I’ve made mistakes---”
“Stop. I truly don’t care what you think about me or my relationship with your son. But for Luke’s sake, I’m gonna point out something to you. Luke has absolutely no doubts about the fact that I love him and respect him. He doesn’t fear that I’m going to break up with him or withhold affection from him as a means to control him. He’s happy with me. You need to mind your own business.”
Reid and Holden sat quietly, glaring at one another.
Luke came down the steps, looking all shiny and gorgeous. He eyed his father and boyfriend suspiciously when he noticed the glaring. “What are you two talking about?”
“Horses,” replied Holden quickly. He looked away guiltily when Luke narrowed his eyes.
“Let’s go, No-Longer-Stinky,” said Reid while ignoring Luke’s question. He kissed Luke hard on the mouth and then grabbed his hand to lead him out of the house before his various siblings returned for the ritualistic farewell rites that were normal for this freak family. Too late. The kids trooped back to the kitchen for the hugging portion of the evening. He tried not to squirm when the kids included him in the hugging festival. At least Holden didn’t try to hug him.
Author: nancygrew
Notes: Takes place mid November 2010. Written for Lure_ATWT's Fun Fic Fridays for the Prompt "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a dman".
Rating: G
Disclaimer: characters belong to ATWT
Summary: Reid Arrives at the Snyder Farm to pick up Luke for a date night
Reid walked into the homey [and painfully quaint] kitchen of the Snyder farmhouse. The chaos indicated that it was obviously one of Holden’s nights to have custody of his underage spawn. Ethan was running around the kitchen flapping his arms and making deep growling noises; Reid had no idea what animal [or demon] Ethan was imitating. Natalie was sitting at the kitchen table singing off-key about President James K. Polk for some reason known only to herself and building a diorama. Faith and Holden were standing in a corner bickering; Faiths arms were flying about in the air as she dramatically protested the unfairness of . . . well, apparently of everything ever. But most specifically about how Holden wanted Faith to prove that she was a responsible teenager by trying to get a part time job over Christmas break.
Reid glanced around for Luke. He was kind of hoping that he could grab his man and just get the Hell out. He had plans for the night. Reid put two fingers into his mouth and let out a shrill whistle. Everyone froze. Reid felt that it was unfortunate that everyone unfroze after a moment. Man, would it be great if he had the supernatural power of freezing everyone into statues permanently.
“Reid!” screeched Ethan who rushed up to Reid and bashed his head against Reid’s thigh in greeting.
“Ouch, you odious ruffian,” said Reid dryly to the randomly violent tyke.
As Ethan grinned brightly in response to the greeting, Reid didn’t worry that his name-calling was going to permanently traumatize him.
“Hey, Reid!” called Natalie as she waved exuberantly at him from her place at the kitchen table. “You staying for supper?”
“Not even if you paid me,” replied Reid.
“If Luke batted his eyes at you, you’d stay,” smirked Faith.
Reid decided that the better part of valor would be to ignore that comment. “Where is Richie Rich?”
Luke entered the kitchen from the porch. He was wiping his oily hands with a rag. His hair was artfully mussed and a streak of grease fell along one cheekbone. Reid was torn between thinking that his boyfriend looked adorable and that he looked like rough trade. Adorable rough trade, perhaps?
Luke grinned at Reid. “I’d kiss you but I’m all dirty and I don’t want to mess up your pretty, pretty suit. Hey, why are you in a pretty, pretty suit?”
“Date night. I’m not on call so you and I are heading out to Chicago for the night,” replied Reid. “Do you have a change of clothes here?”
Luke bounced a little on his feet. “One of my suits is in the closet of my old room.”
“Then shoo,” ordered Reid. “Go shower and change. By the way, maybe you should shower twice. You reek.”
Luke rolled his eyes. “Dad, I got the tractor running again but it’s just going to be another temporary fix. I think we really need to just go ahead and buy Grandma a new tractor.”
“Son, she’s adamant about not replacing the old one needlessly,” replied Holden. “We have to respect her wishes.”
“Luke!” screeched Ethan.
“Hey, buddy,” replied Luke while ruffling Ethan’s hair.
“Stay for supper!” demanded Ethan.
“I can’t tonight,” said Luke. “I’ve got a big date with my boyfriend. But how about you and me having lunch tomorrow, just the two of us?”
“Just the two of us?” asked an excited Ethan. “Can we get macaroni and popcorn?”
“Sure. Maybe we can come up with a plan over lunch about how to get Grandma to accept a new tractor.”
“Her birthday’s coming up!” said Ethan. “Last year when all her grandkids worked together to build her a new chicken coop, she really liked that. She said it was the best present ever.”
“A chicken coop? Don’t make a comment about dementia, don’t make a comment about dementia,” thought Reid to himself.
“That’s a great idea, Ethan,” said Luke. “If the new tractor was a present from all of her grandkids, I bet she’d love it.”
Ethan beamed proudly. Then he roared like a lion and skipped out of the room. Reid wondered if he should get the kid a head scan.
“Luke, come look at my diorama before you go shower,” demanded Natalie.
Luke walked over to his youngest sister and rested a hand upon her shoulder while he checked out her school project. “Wow, Natalie, this is great. I take it Mrs. Newman is, once again, making her class do a diorama for Thanksgiving.”
“Yep,” said Natalie.
Holden walked over and looked at the diorama. “Natalie, the people don’t look like pilgrims.”
“I think Natalie’s decided to portray the first Thanksgiving as historically accurate instead of the way it’s always pictured in media,” said Luke. “They probably only wore the solemn colors on religious occasions. Most of time they probably wore colored clothing.”
“Maybe you should show the pilgrims the way people expect them to look,” suggested Holden. “If I remember Mrs. Newman correctly, she wasn’t an . . . advanced thinker.”
Reid almost laughed out loud at Natalie’s shocked expression at the idea of not doing a school assignment to the best of her ability.
“Whoa!” said Luke. “Is that eel and venison you have on the table?”
“Yes!” exclaimed Natalie. “Pretty awesome, huh?”
“Really fantastic,” said Luke. “I think it’s very cool that you’ve obviously gone to a whole lot of trouble to research everything.”
“When you did one for Mrs. Newman’s class, did you do everything accurate?” asked Natalie.
“Would you be embarrassed to be my little sister if I confessed that I just stood my GI Joe action figures around a shoebox which I had drawn pictures of food on?”
Natalie squealed with laughter.
Luke gently tugged on a lock of her hair in affection. He turned towards Faith. “Hey, Faithie, do you have any interest in an internship at the foundation over Christmas break? It would look good on your college applications and I could really use the help.”
Faith shot her father a look of triumph [and hatred] before smiling at Luke. “Well, I’m not cheap. I’ll need an expense account and an administrative assistant slash dancing boy.”
Luke grinned. “I’m thinking more along the lines of minimum wage and all the paper clips you can pilfer. I’ll call you tomorrow night about it.”
“’kay,” said a grinning Faith.
“Hey, Stinky,” called Reid. “Let’s get a move on.”
Luke whispered conspiratorially to his sisters. “’Stinky’ is Reid’s version of ‘My Beloved Soul-mate’.”
Luke strolled out of the kitchen to the sound of his sisters’ giggles.
Ethan ran back into the room and planted himself in front of Reid. “When you’re on your date with Luke, are you gonna kiss him?”
“If he asks nicely,” replied Reid.
“Are you gonna kiss him on the mouth?”
“If he asks nicely.”
“Ewww. There’s lots of germs in kissing,” laughed Ethan.
“I think it’s a little odd that you’re worried about how sanitary kissing is when I know for a fact that I saw you eat a caterpillar last weekend,” huffed Reid.
“JJ gave me a dollar,” shrugged Ethan. Ethan hugged Reid’s left thigh affectionately and then ran out of the room.
Reid turned towards the kitchen table to where Faith and Natalie were sitting beside one another. “And that kid’s still one of the more normal ones of the Snyder miscellany.”
“Come look at my project while Luke’s showering,” invited Natalie.
“There’s nothing I love more than school projects revolving around the hypocritical celebration of the beginnings of the European and Native Americans relationship,” muttered Reid as he sat beside Natalie. “Let’s all commemorate the three days of feasting that the two cultures shared before one of them was all but wiped off the map.”
“I thought about including a pile of blankets in the corner to foreshadow the future where Europeans give the Natives smallpox-infested blankets but decided that it might be a little dark for Mrs. Newman,” said Natalie.
“Geez, it’s too dark for me,” muttered Faith.
Natalie patted Faith comfortingly on the back.
“So, what’s the occasion for taking Luke out on a date?” asked Faith.
Reid shrugged. “He’s pretty. I’m pretty. Chicago’s had a tough time, what with the Cubs and the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre and all. It deserves a break by us letting it see the synergistic results of our combined prettiness.”
Natalie giggled and Faith smirked.
“Natalie, why don’t you take your project upstairs so that I can set the table for supper?” suggested Holden.
Natalie and Faith left the kitchen, hauling the project upstairs.
Holden sat down at the kitchen table across from Reid. Reid really hoped he wasn’t going to be expected to make small talk about any of Holden’s interests, like horses or marrying and/or impregnating women.
“I have some concerns about your relationship with my son,” began a solemn Holden.
“Okay,” said Reid.
“One of the things I’m concerned about is the age difference.”
“Uh, when I said ‘okay’ I was acknowledging your feelings, not asking you to share those concerns with me.”
“You don’t care that I have concerns?”
“Not at all,” replied Reid. “Luke’s a grown man. He doesn’t need Mommy or Daddy or Other Daddy’s permission to be involved with someone.”
“He’s very young,” lectured Holden.
“He founded and runs a multi-million dollar foundation, he’s making decisions about the international shipping company that his criminal semi-mastermind father gave him, and he’s involved in building a world-class neurology wing,” said Reid. “Luke’s running with the big dogs now. He’s not your little snicker doodle any more.”
Holden sighed. “I grant you that Luke is mature for his age---”
“I think folks tend to grow up fast after their second or third kidnapping.”
“---but he has a gentle soul.”
“You’re infantilizing him by not recognizing that he has other aspects to him than being The Good Son or the Adoring Big Brother.”
“You called him ‘Stinky’!” huffed Holden angrily.
Reid laughed. “Really? That’s what’s stuck in your craw?”
“You embarrassed him.”
“Did not, you big doofus.”
“I won’t have you being emotionally abusive to my child.”
Reid sobered. “Wow. I think I’m done being completely indifferent about your concerns and I’m starting to get annoyed. Being lectured by someone who broke his fiancee’s heart by running off to Paris after his ex-wife is really insulting.”
“I’ve made mistakes---”
“Stop. I truly don’t care what you think about me or my relationship with your son. But for Luke’s sake, I’m gonna point out something to you. Luke has absolutely no doubts about the fact that I love him and respect him. He doesn’t fear that I’m going to break up with him or withhold affection from him as a means to control him. He’s happy with me. You need to mind your own business.”
Reid and Holden sat quietly, glaring at one another.
Luke came down the steps, looking all shiny and gorgeous. He eyed his father and boyfriend suspiciously when he noticed the glaring. “What are you two talking about?”
“Horses,” replied Holden quickly. He looked away guiltily when Luke narrowed his eyes.
“Let’s go, No-Longer-Stinky,” said Reid while ignoring Luke’s question. He kissed Luke hard on the mouth and then grabbed his hand to lead him out of the house before his various siblings returned for the ritualistic farewell rites that were normal for this freak family. Too late. The kids trooped back to the kitchen for the hugging portion of the evening. He tried not to squirm when the kids included him in the hugging festival. At least Holden didn’t try to hug him.