Anxiety
So, that whole working on being more sociable thing? Yeah, didn't work. I actually ended up backsliding quite a bit around the end of the year due to school stress and being far less busy than my friends. The busier my friends got, the lonelier I got. Started getting depressed and losing motivation again. Started getting anxiety attacks in loud, crowded places (like bars and clubs). Got another one last week while telling an anti-abortionist to piss off. Also got several at my parents' house on Christmas. Had to double up on a dose of my mom's ativan to fully calm down.
Now I've recently learned that social anxiety disorder is an actual thing and I've probably had it since I was a kid. Makes sense considering my mom and at least 3 of her siblings are bipolar, and both my dad, uncle, and grandmother (before she died) have varying levels of anxiety themselves. Talked with my old therapist last week. She doesn't take my insurance anymore, so she only charged me half her normal rate for that session. She referred me to an associate of hers who takes my insurance and she seems to think pretty highly of. My first appointment is this coming Thursday, and we're going to start cognitive behavioral therapy and probably get a referral to a psychiatrist to get me on an SSRI until I can handle the exposure part of the therapy without losing my shit. Fuck this anxiety in the ass! (dry) I said I was going to become more sociable and I damn well meant it.
Now I've recently learned that social anxiety disorder is an actual thing and I've probably had it since I was a kid. Makes sense considering my mom and at least 3 of her siblings are bipolar, and both my dad, uncle, and grandmother (before she died) have varying levels of anxiety themselves. Talked with my old therapist last week. She doesn't take my insurance anymore, so she only charged me half her normal rate for that session. She referred me to an associate of hers who takes my insurance and she seems to think pretty highly of. My first appointment is this coming Thursday, and we're going to start cognitive behavioral therapy and probably get a referral to a psychiatrist to get me on an SSRI until I can handle the exposure part of the therapy without losing my shit. Fuck this anxiety in the ass! (dry) I said I was going to become more sociable and I damn well meant it.