Venting again.
I have not slept well for the past week. I wake up during the night, every night. My legs feel restless and sometimes one or both of my arms. I can't seem to wear myself out enough to sleep the night through. I feel bad because sometimes I wake up Duk. I'm not sure what to do to fall back asleep. I don't want to get up because I'm afraid I'll end up feeling more awake. I don't know what'll make it better. This semester is beginning to feel like the last. My classes aren't very stressful, but when I'm not in them, I get incredibly stressed out about them.
Expensive things I would like/need to buy in the semi-near future:
-new digital camera (flash has always been weird on mine, and now the zoom-in button is broken)...maybe my parents will get me one for my birthday
-another tattoo (but I don't know what. at all. I wanted a sunflower on my thigh, and I still like the idea of it, but I can't think of anything that really speaks to me.)
-save up for rent starting in June (living in an apartment next year, lease starts in June)
-save up for new exhaust/muffler for my car
-save up so when my car runs, I can pay for insurance and gas (afraid I won't be able to do this AND rent...my parents are willing to help out with food money, but not rent, which sucks for me)
-save up so I can pay some people back (over $250, mostly because I owe my mom $150 for my broadband internet at school)
Things I need to get done:
-readings for classes (though I won't do most of them and it'll be fine anyway)
-writing response/thought things for Creative Writing
-write a story at least 7 pages long for Creative Writing
-sleep better
-stop having crazy mood swings. I have gone from perfectly okay to really depressed a lot over the past week or two, and it's really bugging me 'cause I can't find reasons for it. Maybe it's just the season. Hopefully it'll be over soon. It doesn't help that I occasionally think about something I need to do soon that is going to result in a lot of upsetness on my part, and that gets me pretty upset. I have no patience for anything anymore, everyone and everything pisses me off. I might go home next weekend, but it'll suck cause I'll have to do that talking, and I can't leave till after 5 on Friday, and have to be back before 3pm on Sunday. This'll be the framework for all my weekends for the rest of the semester, unless I get someone to cover the 2-5 shift of 3-6 shift sometimes. I don't know how often I'll be home anyway. I won't have patience for my car.
Trying not to cry at work. An hour and ten minutes left. I don't want to talk about this with anybody but Duk, but I'll just be saying the same things over and over. He doesn't know what to do with me, and I feel horrible for that.
Expensive things I would like/need to buy in the semi-near future:
-new digital camera (flash has always been weird on mine, and now the zoom-in button is broken)...maybe my parents will get me one for my birthday
-another tattoo (but I don't know what. at all. I wanted a sunflower on my thigh, and I still like the idea of it, but I can't think of anything that really speaks to me.)
-save up for rent starting in June (living in an apartment next year, lease starts in June)
-save up for new exhaust/muffler for my car
-save up so when my car runs, I can pay for insurance and gas (afraid I won't be able to do this AND rent...my parents are willing to help out with food money, but not rent, which sucks for me)
-save up so I can pay some people back (over $250, mostly because I owe my mom $150 for my broadband internet at school)
Things I need to get done:
-readings for classes (though I won't do most of them and it'll be fine anyway)
-writing response/thought things for Creative Writing
-write a story at least 7 pages long for Creative Writing
-sleep better
-stop having crazy mood swings. I have gone from perfectly okay to really depressed a lot over the past week or two, and it's really bugging me 'cause I can't find reasons for it. Maybe it's just the season. Hopefully it'll be over soon. It doesn't help that I occasionally think about something I need to do soon that is going to result in a lot of upsetness on my part, and that gets me pretty upset. I have no patience for anything anymore, everyone and everything pisses me off. I might go home next weekend, but it'll suck cause I'll have to do that talking, and I can't leave till after 5 on Friday, and have to be back before 3pm on Sunday. This'll be the framework for all my weekends for the rest of the semester, unless I get someone to cover the 2-5 shift of 3-6 shift sometimes. I don't know how often I'll be home anyway. I won't have patience for my car.
Trying not to cry at work. An hour and ten minutes left. I don't want to talk about this with anybody but Duk, but I'll just be saying the same things over and over. He doesn't know what to do with me, and I feel horrible for that.