(no subject)
willpart2k: kerri :-(
willpart2k: ?
punkloserchild06: what?
willpart2k: i really don't want u to not talk to me...
punkloserchild06: well..till you can learn to stop listening to ppl and be different like i know you can be and not act so much like Danny..then maybe we can talk again
willpart2k: kerri stop please :'(
punkloserchild06: i thought you were different
willpart2k: u know i am
punkloserchild06: apparently your not
willpart2k: i am
willpart2k: i didn't really think anything of it when jess told me that...but then brandon told me somethin that was pretty much the same...that's when i got all upset
punkloserchild06: yeah and you still didnt come to me
willpart2k: :-(
punkloserchild06: its not like you couldnt call me..
willpart2k: well u were kinda at work i think...but i just acted on my emotions right then i wasn't thinking
punkloserchild06: i have voice mail...and when you IMed me i was sleeping
punkloserchild06: and now your having Jessica tell me she was wrong
willpart2k: i'm not having her do shit
willpart2k: she just wants me talking to her again i think...all of a sudden she goes all fuckin teary-eyed and wonders why i'm not talkin to her
punkloserchild06: yeah well shes trying to make things better with me and you so you will start talking to her again
willpart2k: well its kinda hard to talk to someone after they just fucked up the one chance i had to get with u
punkloserchild06: im sorry
willpart2k: none of this is ur fault i don't want u saying sorry to me...if anything i should be apologizing to u
punkloserchild06: you can thank your friends..i dont want your apolgigies..they dont mean anything to me right now..thats all i hear from ppl is their sorry..that has no meaning to me
willpart2k: kerri...tell me what u want from me then
punkloserchild06: i dont want anything from you
punkloserchild06: or anything
punkloserchild06: but im going to bed so i can get up and get treated like shit from ppl at school
punkloserchild06: or anyone****
punkloserchild06: so bye
u know...what am i supposed to say to someone when i decide to listen to what other people tell me, and
not the heart of the person who wants nothing to do with me? I dunno what the hell i'm supposed to do now...how am i supposed to attone for doing something so wrong. I've hurt this girl more than anyone could have and her heart's turned to stone towards me. Cold and merciless. the poision of my "so-caleld-friends" have decieved me, and led me to acting on the emotion of anger, rather than the calm of rationality to. Now i've pushed too far, and instead of me being my usual level-headed self i listened to what everyone else except for her.
well now u wonder why the hell i don't talk to u anymore, for someone who's supposed to be my friend, you know how to fuck up a lot of shit u know...u didn't have to tell me that, you could have kept everything to urself and let me wait...but u had to go and say something didn't you? Now u know how i feel, having someone turn their back on you like that. I don't want ur apologies. i don't want u to say sorry, all i want is for people to stop interfering with the things i try to do. because of u i lost my chance to be with kerri forever most likely. Sure its hard loosing the one you love, but i sure as hell didn't need ur help in doing that, its would have been one thing loosing kerri if i had known it was all my fault, but that feeling is immeasurable when someone else causes u to loose that someone special in ur life. Even if me and her ever get together now, do u really think that either one of us would put this incident behind us. i don't think so...forever over our heads lay a little cloud of doubt that either us could trust each other again.
ah...i fuckin give up on this shit...a waste of 5 damn years on one fucked up comment that didn't have to be said. I just lost fucking 5 years of my life...in the meantime i'ma go cut myself or some other act of violence...i hope i cut my wrist and bleed to death...now that i think about it, bleeding the pain away doesn't seem like a bad idea. Slowly the pain could drip away until i slip into the darkness of the shadows. alright maybe i'm not that bad...sure as hell feels like it...i'm off to go bleed for a while...fuck this shit...
willpart2k: ?
punkloserchild06: what?
willpart2k: i really don't want u to not talk to me...
punkloserchild06: well..till you can learn to stop listening to ppl and be different like i know you can be and not act so much like Danny..then maybe we can talk again
willpart2k: kerri stop please :'(
punkloserchild06: i thought you were different
willpart2k: u know i am
punkloserchild06: apparently your not
willpart2k: i am
willpart2k: i didn't really think anything of it when jess told me that...but then brandon told me somethin that was pretty much the same...that's when i got all upset
punkloserchild06: yeah and you still didnt come to me
willpart2k: :-(
punkloserchild06: its not like you couldnt call me..
willpart2k: well u were kinda at work i think...but i just acted on my emotions right then i wasn't thinking
punkloserchild06: i have voice mail...and when you IMed me i was sleeping
punkloserchild06: and now your having Jessica tell me she was wrong
willpart2k: i'm not having her do shit
willpart2k: she just wants me talking to her again i think...all of a sudden she goes all fuckin teary-eyed and wonders why i'm not talkin to her
punkloserchild06: yeah well shes trying to make things better with me and you so you will start talking to her again
willpart2k: well its kinda hard to talk to someone after they just fucked up the one chance i had to get with u
punkloserchild06: im sorry
willpart2k: none of this is ur fault i don't want u saying sorry to me...if anything i should be apologizing to u
punkloserchild06: you can thank your friends..i dont want your apolgigies..they dont mean anything to me right now..thats all i hear from ppl is their sorry..that has no meaning to me
willpart2k: kerri...tell me what u want from me then
punkloserchild06: i dont want anything from you
punkloserchild06: or anything
punkloserchild06: but im going to bed so i can get up and get treated like shit from ppl at school
punkloserchild06: or anyone****
punkloserchild06: so bye
u know...what am i supposed to say to someone when i decide to listen to what other people tell me, and
not the heart of the person who wants nothing to do with me? I dunno what the hell i'm supposed to do now...how am i supposed to attone for doing something so wrong. I've hurt this girl more than anyone could have and her heart's turned to stone towards me. Cold and merciless. the poision of my "so-caleld-friends" have decieved me, and led me to acting on the emotion of anger, rather than the calm of rationality to. Now i've pushed too far, and instead of me being my usual level-headed self i listened to what everyone else except for her.
well now u wonder why the hell i don't talk to u anymore, for someone who's supposed to be my friend, you know how to fuck up a lot of shit u know...u didn't have to tell me that, you could have kept everything to urself and let me wait...but u had to go and say something didn't you? Now u know how i feel, having someone turn their back on you like that. I don't want ur apologies. i don't want u to say sorry, all i want is for people to stop interfering with the things i try to do. because of u i lost my chance to be with kerri forever most likely. Sure its hard loosing the one you love, but i sure as hell didn't need ur help in doing that, its would have been one thing loosing kerri if i had known it was all my fault, but that feeling is immeasurable when someone else causes u to loose that someone special in ur life. Even if me and her ever get together now, do u really think that either one of us would put this incident behind us. i don't think so...forever over our heads lay a little cloud of doubt that either us could trust each other again.
ah...i fuckin give up on this shit...a waste of 5 damn years on one fucked up comment that didn't have to be said. I just lost fucking 5 years of my life...in the meantime i'ma go cut myself or some other act of violence...i hope i cut my wrist and bleed to death...now that i think about it, bleeding the pain away doesn't seem like a bad idea. Slowly the pain could drip away until i slip into the darkness of the shadows. alright maybe i'm not that bad...sure as hell feels like it...i'm off to go bleed for a while...fuck this shit...