.poor.little.heart.
Today there was a revelation, and not mine.
It's oddly fascinating how someone can take words and apply it to his situation, words you adore, and words you had chosen, and used for only reasons you know, that he will never understand.
I had found a beautiful line from the journal of a_rodge by Pablo Neruda. I altered them, only slightly, to personalize ( Read more... )
It's oddly fascinating how someone can take words and apply it to his situation, words you adore, and words you had chosen, and used for only reasons you know, that he will never understand.
I had found a beautiful line from the journal of a_rodge by Pablo Neruda. I altered them, only slightly, to personalize ( Read more... )
Had I only known...had I only known that your words were from another and spoke intimately to your own heart...
I've been quite foolish and quite blind to you. Words spilled forth from my mouth. Words of understanding and encouragement, words seemingly at peace with everything. But beneath my heart spewed anguish, anguish borne of times past that I readily projected on you because of the ease of it...
'i search to show you
just how far i broke from myself
in the name of fear and doubt
in a better world there would be a better me
without the chase that won't leave me be...'
If this was a trial set up for me, I would have surely failed miserably. I bid you to take heed to how deeply you analyze and then when confronted with a challenge, I fold and over-analyze, over-think, overlook...
I take words and I scan them for meaning, internalize them, and react as I think I should: with a distinct swiftness and an eagerness for resolution...but in this way your words, in which beauty thrives and you find such meaning, fester like wounds within me. The foolish thoughts of a foolish young man...
You, of any and all, are indeed my Heart as well, that notion I will make plain and outright...
I'm sorry, my Heart, for every agonizing minute I put you through. It had been a sweet, adoring, though often difficult 4 months together
The apology rests on me to make...
this often hard, though deeply caring relationship
I'm sorry. I would have given absolutely anything to remove the difficulty of this beautiful relationship we've had. In fact, that was my quest...to give you some kind of perfection, to just hold you in my arms and stand in the face of adversity... I suppose, in the end, I stumbled and fell holding the fragile construct of my own ambitions
My adoration for you, in any context, is unspeakable.
You thrust honesty onto me in world of double-speak and insincerity, humbling me.
Your searing passion burns the fog of the mundane from eyes clouded and red...
I don't know that damage I've done, but I will do my best to fix it slowly, calmly, rationally...
Just
Don't
Give
Up
On
Me...
My dear, please don't leave me outside your wake, because if I'm not touched by you, I fear a sense of loss and regret most profound
Give me the chance to be there... Someday...
The road might be slow, but know I'm here to travel it
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