What.thee.fuck...
Alright, so, I'm thinking again and of course my panties are yet again, in a bunch.
There is stuff I just don't understand about men, especially those of the in a relationship variety. What I don't understand is, why is it so fucking hard for men to say nice things to their women? What I understand even less is, why the fuck do we stick with men that are like that?
If I had to guess, I would say that the men who act like that are trying to exercise a certain level of control, that by leaving their woman to fish for compliments somehow makes them feel secure; makes them feel like if they treat us poorly (and yes! Neglecting to say complimentary things is not only mean, it's friggin RUDE!) that we'll keep on trying to please them. Look prettier, treat them better than we already do and reduce ourselves to the size of a bean-pole as far as our figure is concerned.
I can't help but feel that this is either a conscious or subconscious effort to make us feel like someone of less importance, so they can keep the upper hand. When I think of how very little I was complimented without having to fish for it, I feel incredibly stupid for playing that game at all. For even letting that person make me feel so flawed. For sticking around as long as I did and allowing my esteem to rot away and for putting so much importance on him. I'm here to say, that shit will NEVER happen again.
If I guy can't at least PRETEND to think I'm the shit, then he's not worth my time. Why? Because when I CARE, even if my Man isn't particularly the shit, I try to make him feel like a God... even if he isn't.
Illusion is what makes the world go around. Reality is what makes it suffer. Sometimes, you just gotta put someone else's feelings above your own need to dominate and "be in control".
I don't see how a relationship could thrive without this mutual exchange. Am I saying lie about everything? Certainly not.
I'm saying, if your woman or man look nice... tell them! If they turn you on... tell them! If you're proud of their actions... tell them! Love em? Tell em. And listen to them... even if you're bored. Try to understand their enthusiasm and be involved.
How fucking hard is that??? I'm completely befuddled. So much so, that I can only see that someone who can't say things to their lover that may brighten their day and serve to lift them up as intentionally trying to sabotage their lover's esteem... period.
That the insecurity of the offender is too great to omg.. allow for their lover to feel good in their presence.
And to all offenders out there or potential offenders, I can tell you, that unless you COMPLETELY ruin the person you are with and strip them of their feeling of self-worth, you will not win, because they WILL wise up and leave your ass.
Now a person could argue, "Well, you shouldn't seek validation from your lover" and to that I say, right! Absolutely! One should be OPENLY APPRECIATED by their lover if they wish to have nice things continue.
/rant
There is stuff I just don't understand about men, especially those of the in a relationship variety. What I don't understand is, why is it so fucking hard for men to say nice things to their women? What I understand even less is, why the fuck do we stick with men that are like that?
If I had to guess, I would say that the men who act like that are trying to exercise a certain level of control, that by leaving their woman to fish for compliments somehow makes them feel secure; makes them feel like if they treat us poorly (and yes! Neglecting to say complimentary things is not only mean, it's friggin RUDE!) that we'll keep on trying to please them. Look prettier, treat them better than we already do and reduce ourselves to the size of a bean-pole as far as our figure is concerned.
I can't help but feel that this is either a conscious or subconscious effort to make us feel like someone of less importance, so they can keep the upper hand. When I think of how very little I was complimented without having to fish for it, I feel incredibly stupid for playing that game at all. For even letting that person make me feel so flawed. For sticking around as long as I did and allowing my esteem to rot away and for putting so much importance on him. I'm here to say, that shit will NEVER happen again.
If I guy can't at least PRETEND to think I'm the shit, then he's not worth my time. Why? Because when I CARE, even if my Man isn't particularly the shit, I try to make him feel like a God... even if he isn't.
Illusion is what makes the world go around. Reality is what makes it suffer. Sometimes, you just gotta put someone else's feelings above your own need to dominate and "be in control".
I don't see how a relationship could thrive without this mutual exchange. Am I saying lie about everything? Certainly not.
I'm saying, if your woman or man look nice... tell them! If they turn you on... tell them! If you're proud of their actions... tell them! Love em? Tell em. And listen to them... even if you're bored. Try to understand their enthusiasm and be involved.
How fucking hard is that??? I'm completely befuddled. So much so, that I can only see that someone who can't say things to their lover that may brighten their day and serve to lift them up as intentionally trying to sabotage their lover's esteem... period.
That the insecurity of the offender is too great to omg.. allow for their lover to feel good in their presence.
And to all offenders out there or potential offenders, I can tell you, that unless you COMPLETELY ruin the person you are with and strip them of their feeling of self-worth, you will not win, because they WILL wise up and leave your ass.
Now a person could argue, "Well, you shouldn't seek validation from your lover" and to that I say, right! Absolutely! One should be OPENLY APPRECIATED by their lover if they wish to have nice things continue.
/rant