Underestimating
I skated very well and very hard yesterday. As good as it felt to skate, it felt even better to hear "You did great!" from the class trainer for the intermediate skills for thrills class that just started yesterday at the Doll Factory. I am so very sore today, but I've been worse before and will be again. It feels so good to push myself and feel at least somewhat successful. All this time, I've been thinking how much I suck, rather than how much I'm improving. She said "I think everyone in this class is Fresh Meat material", and all I could think was how afraid I was of failing. I ended up not trying out because I couldnt go 5 steps without hacking a lung, but I didnt expect to pass anyway.
Wednesday I skated with LBRD for the first time, figuring I will either like them enough to switch over completely or use it as a midweek practice to improve for the next Derby Dolls tryout. (Taliesin says I'd look good in a girl scout uniform, and the Tough Cookies happen to be current league champs, so I'd better bust my ass) I skated...la la la, then it came to my dreaded transitions and backwards skating. If you aren't very good and are slow, skate the inner track; if you're doing ok skate the outside. I was thinking how much I suck, skate skate, turn 180 (lifting you feet, not rolling thru) then skating backwards, then turn and skate forwards, rinse, repeat, when the coach skates by and says "Red helmet! Skate on the outside, you're doing really good!" I said "Really? I thought I suck!" she said "No, really!"
So maybe, just maybe, and knowing that I'm not a GOOD skater yet, I'm not as bad as I always feel like. Maybe I'm improving and doing ok for my experience level. I could be worse. I could be better. Most importantly, I WILL be better because I'm determined to keep busting my ass for what I want.
Wednesday I skated with LBRD for the first time, figuring I will either like them enough to switch over completely or use it as a midweek practice to improve for the next Derby Dolls tryout. (Taliesin says I'd look good in a girl scout uniform, and the Tough Cookies happen to be current league champs, so I'd better bust my ass) I skated...la la la, then it came to my dreaded transitions and backwards skating. If you aren't very good and are slow, skate the inner track; if you're doing ok skate the outside. I was thinking how much I suck, skate skate, turn 180 (lifting you feet, not rolling thru) then skating backwards, then turn and skate forwards, rinse, repeat, when the coach skates by and says "Red helmet! Skate on the outside, you're doing really good!" I said "Really? I thought I suck!" she said "No, really!"
So maybe, just maybe, and knowing that I'm not a GOOD skater yet, I'm not as bad as I always feel like. Maybe I'm improving and doing ok for my experience level. I could be worse. I could be better. Most importantly, I WILL be better because I'm determined to keep busting my ass for what I want.