I'm excited about our date on Saturday. I know we'll have an awesome time even if we don't stay long. And who knows? Perhaps a ritual of dancing the weekend away will begin from this weekend
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Re: if you expect it, it will happen....nakedsquirrelMarch 3 2005, 06:38:35 UTC
I have always protected myself by not letting people close. I even lived with a guy for 9 months without ever allowing either of us to think of anything furthur ahead than the end of a 6 month lease. That worked. There is no reason to let someone in like I did with Taylor. It was dangerous and it was the reason it didnt work out. I allowed myself to expect more than I should have and it put too much pressure on him, and me. From now on the safety of my heart is the highest of my priorities and that means not being dumb and thinking I have more than a sex toy in anyone. I knew that nothing really mattered when i was with Jonathan because I didn't let him in. i enjoyed the hell out of the time we spent, and when things fell apart I chuckled and walked off. no harm done. They will all end. I can't do this again. And I am not worried that I will. my heart is now thickly calloused with abuse, like my feet. And that's how I like it. I can walk around on rocks in the hot sun without shoes. Even when i step on glass it's only a slight
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Re: if you expect it, it will happen....flyingbrickMarch 3 2005, 13:18:18 UTC
i might remind you that the thing with kenyon didn't work, actually. i agree that you got a bit carried away a bit too soon with taylor, but the failure of this relationship shouldn't teach you not to love as much as not to let things escalate so quickly. there is such thing as love without getting swept away in it in the space of a month or two. smart girls know that they cannot possibly make those kinds of commitments that you made in such a short amount of time. i'd like to think i'm a smart girl. i opened up after some time. and i got hurt, more than once. but i didn't glean any lessons about "love" from those instances; i got lessons in individual behavior, i.e. his tendencies and flaw, and my own tendencies and flaws. silly girls broaden something so specific into an analysis of the universal.
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i agree that you got a bit carried away a bit too soon with taylor, but the failure of this relationship shouldn't teach you not to love as much as not to let things escalate so quickly. there is such thing as love without getting swept away in it in the space of a month or two. smart girls know that they cannot possibly make those kinds of commitments that you made in such a short amount of time. i'd like to think i'm a smart girl. i opened up after some time. and i got hurt, more than once. but i didn't glean any lessons about "love" from those instances; i got lessons in individual behavior, i.e. his tendencies and flaw, and my own tendencies and flaws. silly girls broaden something so specific into an analysis of the universal.
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