Salsa Dancing
I'm excited about our date on Saturday. I know we'll have an awesome time even if we don't stay long. And who knows? Perhaps a ritual of dancing the weekend away will begin from this weekend.
on a more somber note I'm feeling numb. I think that the giddy child who was in love has almost died. I took all the country cds out of my car. I no longer find the songs that remind me of my last relationship as captivating. I'll go back to songs that remind me of before; incubus, eve 6, match box 20. I actually had a conversation tonight where everyone told me that we weren't meant for each other and I could agree without pain, anger or resentment. I haven't cried since our last goodbye. and then I only shed a few tears. I can't deny that being single has it's upside. like a night out at a club in a short skirt with another girl as my date, dancing with passers-by without any wonder if I would be hurting someone.
I've learned that you don't take your eye off the road to gaze into the eyes of someone you feel will help you steer, because they'll steer you into a wall. from now on I keep my eyes on the road.
I've learned-once again-that when everyone tells you that moving to washington will put too much strain on your relationship, that you should take thier word for it; you can't trust your own judgement.
And that if you stop and smile and get dressed up for valentines day, knowing nothing good can come of the day, but life, in itself is perfect nontheless, it's just the invitation for god or those who do his bidding to shake you until you collapse. Even if it takes half a month, a broken hand, a deadly tumor, an expensive uhaul, a selfish partner and a heartbreak that could injure even the blindest of lovers.
So many slight movements of my heart into recovery. Each seem to be so relieving. I find myself saying goodbye in another way everytime I think of him. Saying goodbye a little more. Feeling a little better. A little stronger, when I thought I had gotten my strength back already. i know this is a process. It's a painful one. But necessary.
Thank you for the lesson in love. I knew I was asking for just this when I let you in so close. I thought it was because I was stronger, but I see now it wasn't strength, it was just different. And I now know not to do that again. You taught me that I have no control. No matter how hard I try, or how perfect I percive things, i have no control, in the end. The only way to keep control is to never let anyone that close to me. I'm glad it was you. I'm sure the next guy will cheat on me or something. So at least I let down my guard for you, learned my lesson, so the next guy won't get close enough to matter.
on a more somber note I'm feeling numb. I think that the giddy child who was in love has almost died. I took all the country cds out of my car. I no longer find the songs that remind me of my last relationship as captivating. I'll go back to songs that remind me of before; incubus, eve 6, match box 20. I actually had a conversation tonight where everyone told me that we weren't meant for each other and I could agree without pain, anger or resentment. I haven't cried since our last goodbye. and then I only shed a few tears. I can't deny that being single has it's upside. like a night out at a club in a short skirt with another girl as my date, dancing with passers-by without any wonder if I would be hurting someone.
I've learned that you don't take your eye off the road to gaze into the eyes of someone you feel will help you steer, because they'll steer you into a wall. from now on I keep my eyes on the road.
I've learned-once again-that when everyone tells you that moving to washington will put too much strain on your relationship, that you should take thier word for it; you can't trust your own judgement.
And that if you stop and smile and get dressed up for valentines day, knowing nothing good can come of the day, but life, in itself is perfect nontheless, it's just the invitation for god or those who do his bidding to shake you until you collapse. Even if it takes half a month, a broken hand, a deadly tumor, an expensive uhaul, a selfish partner and a heartbreak that could injure even the blindest of lovers.
So many slight movements of my heart into recovery. Each seem to be so relieving. I find myself saying goodbye in another way everytime I think of him. Saying goodbye a little more. Feeling a little better. A little stronger, when I thought I had gotten my strength back already. i know this is a process. It's a painful one. But necessary.
Thank you for the lesson in love. I knew I was asking for just this when I let you in so close. I thought it was because I was stronger, but I see now it wasn't strength, it was just different. And I now know not to do that again. You taught me that I have no control. No matter how hard I try, or how perfect I percive things, i have no control, in the end. The only way to keep control is to never let anyone that close to me. I'm glad it was you. I'm sure the next guy will cheat on me or something. So at least I let down my guard for you, learned my lesson, so the next guy won't get close enough to matter.