a real update for a change

[nakedmolerat56]

Can stable be a mood?  Sounds good to me.

So I'm currently all about this Harry Connick song:

"in a way

i really don't know

much at all

if you say

that i'm simple                                     "well it's better to be happy

you're on the ball

Comments

[anonymous]

From one who's turning 23 in three weeks and also doesn't know what to do with his life, sometimes it's best not to know what you're gonna do. You have your most fun when you're doing nothing (I would hope you would know that out of all the people I know...)

-Joe

[nakedmolerat56]

I've certainly never been a planner and didn't really have a goal when I came to CNU so I suppose it makes sense that I wouldn't have one as I leave. A plan does prevent you from having the freedom to do whatever you like, but my feelings about a life plan are beginning to parallel my feelings about relationships. You can spend forever refusing to settle for one thing and have a lot of fun doing it, but until you finally commit yourself to something, you can only make so much progress. Right now, I'd actually be happier committed to one person and one goal. If nothing else, at the moment I can dream of going to grad school in Santa Fe if I can write the most amazing essay of my life. The alternative, staying in Newport News and working in a Ticket Office, isn't bad for now, but I certainly have higher aspirations than that.

A game of four square would be a nice distraction. :)

[anonymous]

Beth Atkins fearing commitment? Certainly not!

A lot can happen in six months (a year, whenever you're graduating). What (or who) you'll want when you make that decision may drastically change. My thinking if he's will to stick around during you're indecisiveness, he's worth it. But don't expect latching on to someone is suddenly going to give your life purpose (I may be shooting in the dark here, just reading between the lines). Relationships are complicated. Hell knows if I've ever been in one I could give you better advice.

But my thinking on the whole thing is: STOP WORRYING! Enjoy not being tied down to something or someone. You don't get to relive 23, enjoy what you have, who you have, while you can.

My $.02. Hope you take it.

-Joe

[nakedmolerat56]

no intelligent person is willing to stick around during long bouts of indecision. that's the problem. and i'm not seeking to latch onto someone to gain purpose in my life. i'm currently dating someone who will ideally (for him) be leaving the state in the fall.

and joe, telling me to stop worring? like that ever works. :) how many people do you know who worry about nothing more than i do.

[angelalala]

Can I offer guidance from 4 years later in life? One thing I've learned that I really think is true is that the path you take doesn't really matter. It really, really doesn't. They tell you it does, they tell you you need to have a "plan" and "goals" and stuff, and you know, plans and goals are great and virtuous and so on, but however much you make them, stuff about them gets fucked up. And if you try to stick to them too much, YOU get fucked up. We all know this. You know, like, if I'd stuck to the plan I had when I graduated, I'd be married to Fred and still pursuing an acting career. And I'd be miserable. Not because Fred sucks or acting sucks but because they became the wrong things for me. They made me happy for a long time but then they didn't. So the plan had to change. You know? So I advise you to not be so hard on yourself about not knowing what you want. As someone else said, that's actually a great place to be and very freeing. And if you have the chance (I don't know if you're even considering this but just an example of

[vuduchyl]

You think each age is less fun? Hmm. I feel better about life now that I'm in my thirties than I did when I was twenty. Greater challenges, but greater rewards

[angelalala]

Yeah - when I'm feeling cranky. My fault. It's not that way, you're right. I'm happier and more content now than I've ever been. So disregard everything I said. Except the part about the moisturizer, that part is true.

[nakedmolerat56]

Damn. I guess that means I'll have to stop trying to make everyone around me miserable. If you say so. :)

[nakedmolerat56]

Thanks Angela. I really hadn't considered that it would be worse to stick to a bad plan than to have no plan at all. I definitely agree that getting away from CNU whenever I can is a great idea, but for now it's a decent job with great people that will help me pay back some of my massive debt. I do intend to find something better as soon as possible.
And I don't use moisturizer every day, but I'll work on that so I can stay "talented and beautiful and funny and interesting" instead of wrinkly and old. It's better to get the kid's discount at King's Dominion and have people think that your license is a fake ID in your 20's than to have people believe you're 40. :)

Okay, the bad comment.

[anonymous]

Well, unless marriage is in the cards, what's to worry about? If you go with him, you go and make the sacrifices you have to. If not, enjoy what you have till he has to leave.

Not (by my opinion) complicated.