I am BOY! hear me whimper!
I have decided to hate department stores. There seems to be a distinct lack of selection.
I refer here specifically to the typical chino offerings of America's major department stores. In short, department stores suffer three difficulties. First, the quality of the product is hopelessly crappy. Second, the brand selection is complete crap. Third, the color selection is complete shit.
Exhibit A? Dockers! I do not know who there pants are supposed to be made for, but they are hopelessly unflattering, come in too few colors, and the shade of "blue" that they use is nauseating.
Exhibit B? Haggar! Once upon a time -- about three years ago-- Haggar produced a simple, solid line of affordable pants. Then, apparently, everyone in America got Fat. Whence came the expanda-waist line. Then, because everyone was so carelessly gorging themselves in their expandable pants, American men suddenly became incapable of a) keeping their Meatball Subs from falling into their laps, and b) ironing their pants. Thus, the Forever New line of pants was born. The Forever New line, while impervious to both food and wrinkles, is also oblivious too any sense of fashionability. As both too thin and too fake looking, the Haggar line has rendered itself unwearable. This is a real tragedy because Haggar is one of the few lines offering a multiplicity of colors. The only brand, in fact, that I can recollect carrying a slate (or light gray).
Exhibit C? The over-priced crap offered as an alternative to Haggar and Dockers. Here we find real pants. Real fabrics, real waistlines, and reasonably fashionable fabrics. Unfortunately, I would be better off buying Brooks Brothers or Polo Chino's at a boutique for the prices that are charged at certain department stores. Even worse, no interesting color selections.
And if I might, let me go ahead and slander Lands' End while I am at it. One hundred percent cotton pants should not be shiny! I don't give a rat's ass what sort of color-fast, stain-safe bullshit you are trying to pull, I do not buy the cotton for the shine!
What I want:
I want Stone colored pants. And I want Light Stone colored pants. Then I want Dark Stone pants! I want to go into the store, to be shown a pair of pants, and I want to say, "No, those are a little too "Talc-y", I'm looking for something more in a gypsum."
I refer here specifically to the typical chino offerings of America's major department stores. In short, department stores suffer three difficulties. First, the quality of the product is hopelessly crappy. Second, the brand selection is complete crap. Third, the color selection is complete shit.
Exhibit A? Dockers! I do not know who there pants are supposed to be made for, but they are hopelessly unflattering, come in too few colors, and the shade of "blue" that they use is nauseating.
Exhibit B? Haggar! Once upon a time -- about three years ago-- Haggar produced a simple, solid line of affordable pants. Then, apparently, everyone in America got Fat. Whence came the expanda-waist line. Then, because everyone was so carelessly gorging themselves in their expandable pants, American men suddenly became incapable of a) keeping their Meatball Subs from falling into their laps, and b) ironing their pants. Thus, the Forever New line of pants was born. The Forever New line, while impervious to both food and wrinkles, is also oblivious too any sense of fashionability. As both too thin and too fake looking, the Haggar line has rendered itself unwearable. This is a real tragedy because Haggar is one of the few lines offering a multiplicity of colors. The only brand, in fact, that I can recollect carrying a slate (or light gray).
Exhibit C? The over-priced crap offered as an alternative to Haggar and Dockers. Here we find real pants. Real fabrics, real waistlines, and reasonably fashionable fabrics. Unfortunately, I would be better off buying Brooks Brothers or Polo Chino's at a boutique for the prices that are charged at certain department stores. Even worse, no interesting color selections.
And if I might, let me go ahead and slander Lands' End while I am at it. One hundred percent cotton pants should not be shiny! I don't give a rat's ass what sort of color-fast, stain-safe bullshit you are trying to pull, I do not buy the cotton for the shine!
What I want:
I want Stone colored pants. And I want Light Stone colored pants. Then I want Dark Stone pants! I want to go into the store, to be shown a pair of pants, and I want to say, "No, those are a little too "Talc-y", I'm looking for something more in a gypsum."