continuation of my life
i dont know how to feel anymore i find myself forgetting then i remember and i get mad at myself for forgetting. i dont know what to do should i just let go or should i hold on to the feeling of uncertainty. im scared to let my guard down and allow things to get out of control. i know none of this is my fault but i still feel like i could have seen the signs sooner. i sit here and wish for things to go back to the way they use to be but then i think about if anything was really ever perfect. i hate feeling so lost with everything and having no one to talk to about it. i just want to move on from everything i want this year to be over i want to forget everything and pretend like nothing ever happened. i want school to end and stupid drama to go away. im so over everybody cheeting and causing more problems with our already disfunctional group. im sick of faking being happy all the time im really not i have alot of misplaced anger that i know will eventually blow up somewhere who knows whos gunna be stuck at the other end of that. work is so stressful i work so many hours it feels like an i have nothing to show for it. i really need to buy a new computer but i need to save enough money for my school bill then i need money for xmas. i just so overwealmed with everything right now i dont know what to do. i really need a vacation from my life.