So weird...
Its crazy to believe just how much my life has changed in the last year. More correctly from about.. the past summer to now. I'm in a sorority I love, which is weird, because I NEVER thought I'd ever 'go there.' I'm actualy pulling through college fantasticly, and still having the time of my life. I'm doing what I wnat to this summer, which means a lot to me too. I've learned job-wise that if I don't like it, I can give my manager the finger and leave.. (lmao.. oh amy..) I'm learning to wakeboard, I'm learning to find time for the people I WANT to find time for. And as always, Boulder is fantastic.
I think my life on a relationship scale has changed the most significantly. I'm finally done with someone I had loved for years - knowing it was returned and leaving it how it is.. well thats just fabulous. I'll always have him around, and that means the world to me.
I found out that not all relationships mean forever - I broke up with my first real love, and somehow survived.
This is the most important.. and I hope if you ever read this, you take it to heart.
(you know exactly who you are)
I also lost an incredibly important relationship to me.. for reasons I'll never fully understand, but I think I have a good idea of what went 'wrong.' When I think out of all of the things I've had happen in the last year, that has to be the most painful. I've gone through old emails, deleted those emails, and even ripped apart a love letter I thought I would cheris forever. I cried, cursed and have spent countless hours trying to figure out how someone could be so loving, and suddenly grow so cold and shallow. I can remember every minute of the hours-long conversations we had, and the way I could trust you, laugh with you and even love you. I can still remember the way my heart raced. I still can't figure out why you even bothered to kiss me if you were going to let our relationship crumble the way it did, or tell me that you loved me for that matter. I will tell you one thing though... I'll never forget the way you looked at me in the rain that day. The way you looked at me period, actualy. I'm not bitter anymore, because for a short period of time you and I really did have a big impact on each other's lives. I'm sure I'm a big reason why you rushed, and to be honest, you're the reason I've taken up wakeboarding. If I ever see you again, I'll just smile and keep on my way, because I'm sure you have nothing to say to me. If you did, you would have said it by now, but I'm sure your silence speaks the millions of words that could be said. I hope you know you could email me, or call me still. I wouldn't turn you away. (I told you I don't get angry...)
I'm sorry things couldn't work out between us, but I'm still glad to be one of the girls in your life who was 'worth it'
I'm glad to be getting away this summer, because I don't want to think about anything but wakeboarding, midnight bonfires and sleep.. which is going to be sooo glorious. I'm not sure why I've been reflecting so hard on relationships lately, but its good to know I'm done with whats over. But I can't help to wonder... if you were 'worth it' to someone, can you ever really be worth nothing to them?
I think my life on a relationship scale has changed the most significantly. I'm finally done with someone I had loved for years - knowing it was returned and leaving it how it is.. well thats just fabulous. I'll always have him around, and that means the world to me.
I found out that not all relationships mean forever - I broke up with my first real love, and somehow survived.
This is the most important.. and I hope if you ever read this, you take it to heart.
(you know exactly who you are)
I also lost an incredibly important relationship to me.. for reasons I'll never fully understand, but I think I have a good idea of what went 'wrong.' When I think out of all of the things I've had happen in the last year, that has to be the most painful. I've gone through old emails, deleted those emails, and even ripped apart a love letter I thought I would cheris forever. I cried, cursed and have spent countless hours trying to figure out how someone could be so loving, and suddenly grow so cold and shallow. I can remember every minute of the hours-long conversations we had, and the way I could trust you, laugh with you and even love you. I can still remember the way my heart raced. I still can't figure out why you even bothered to kiss me if you were going to let our relationship crumble the way it did, or tell me that you loved me for that matter. I will tell you one thing though... I'll never forget the way you looked at me in the rain that day. The way you looked at me period, actualy. I'm not bitter anymore, because for a short period of time you and I really did have a big impact on each other's lives. I'm sure I'm a big reason why you rushed, and to be honest, you're the reason I've taken up wakeboarding. If I ever see you again, I'll just smile and keep on my way, because I'm sure you have nothing to say to me. If you did, you would have said it by now, but I'm sure your silence speaks the millions of words that could be said. I hope you know you could email me, or call me still. I wouldn't turn you away. (I told you I don't get angry...)
I'm sorry things couldn't work out between us, but I'm still glad to be one of the girls in your life who was 'worth it'
I'm glad to be getting away this summer, because I don't want to think about anything but wakeboarding, midnight bonfires and sleep.. which is going to be sooo glorious. I'm not sure why I've been reflecting so hard on relationships lately, but its good to know I'm done with whats over. But I can't help to wonder... if you were 'worth it' to someone, can you ever really be worth nothing to them?