Fanfiction- The End Where I Begin
She drops her keys, skirting from the front door to the bedroom following the muffled ring of the telephone. There, underneath a heap of unworn clothes, washed and waiting to be folded she finds it and pushes the talk button.
“I’m in Seattle.” He blurts.
His voice is clear on the receiver. Perhaps too clear. When he repeats himself she can hear the rich timbre of his voice perfectly, she almost admits to herself that she’s missed it…almost.
“What do you want me to do with that titbit of information Black?”
Her mouth has caught up with her head and for the first thing that came to mind, she’s pretty happy with the result. Everyone knows Leah is a bitch and two years of separation isn’t going to change that, he of all people should know it.
She expects a smirk across the line, a snappy comeback, what she doesn’t expect is,
“I’m a little way away. Are you-“ He’s stumbling over his words in a way she doesn’t remember and she’s not quite sure what to make of that. “Can I come over?” He knows her well enough to know she’s a breath away from telling him to fuck off but he’s hoping her curiosity will get the better of her.
“I…I have an appointment in fifteen minutes.” Surprisingly not a lie. “I can meet you back at my apartment at about 12. Its 10b Breezeway Place, I’ll meet you out front.
“Cool.” He says. She’s already rethinking it. “I - You’re ..ok with this right?”
“…Sure” She says.
Lie. Lie. Lie.
****
She sat through the meeting, one eye on the clock the whole time. She should have been ecstatic. the loan had been approved; she could finally open up shop, a little garage and a little money. Except she wasn’t. Far from it infact, her knees crossed, uncrossed, bounced and crossed again the entire cab ride home.
11.54
The car rolls to a stop and she sees him first, leaning outside her building. Even slouched down she can see he’s gained an inch or so. His hair cropped the way she’s more than used to. Last time she’d seen him he was growing it out again, Nessie liked it long.
She steps out and the sidewalk feels foreign beneath her, the blood can circulate back round her body now that she’s out of the confines. He looks up to see her but she’s not quite sure what he’s seeing, his eyes glaze over for a moment before he blinks slowly. Then he gives her the Black look, the half grin slash jackass smirk. She’d hated it before she’d decided she thought it was kind of cute, now she just plain hates it again.
“Well, well, well, the prodigal son returns.” She says hoping she doesn’t sound as rattled as she feels.
He gestures his arms with a shrug, “In the flesh.” Her arm brushes his and warms her already hot skin. She turns the key in the lock while he turns heavy eyes down at her. She doesn’t meet his gaze, just expects him to follow her into her match- box apartment. She can feel his eyes wander over the place. He’s too quiet, she thinks.
“So whaddya want Jacob? I’m pretty sure you didn’t come back from” She doesn’t even know where he’s been these past few years, “wherever you were to get a tour of my apartment.”
He makes himself comfortable on the couch, and makes no move to explain himself just leans back and closes his eyes. Now she’s worried. Jacob Black doesn’t do quiet, he’s loud and obnoxiously cheerful, especially in awkward situations, this subdued version just doesn’t…fit.
“What are you doing here Jake? Tell me or get the hell out.” She shouts, her hands are tight fists at her sides, she shouldn’t be feeling so out of her depth, this is her house, her turf. He’s already opened his eyes, peering up at her, this time he’s really seeing her and she’s holding her breath.
“Been a long time, needed to see a friendly face.”
“Friendly face?” She laughs. “Why didn’t you go find Seth or I don’t know one of your best friends - Embry? Quil? ringing a bell here?”
“I’m not so sure they’d want to see me,” what and she did? “And just so you know, Alaskas where I’ve been”
“O…kay.” She drawls, quirking an eyebrow in the universal -c’mon, spit it out.
“I haven’t spoken to Billy in months.” He says, wide eyed, “Its not easy for him to be on his own and I haven’t once picked up the phone to see how he’s doing. Who does that?” Well Jacob does apparently, but she figured it wasn’t quite the right time to say it, see she did have some tact. “My whole life was in La Push and I’m so fucking disconnected its not even funn-“
“He’s fine.” She cuts him off, not really wanting to here how bad he feels, “I left a few meals in his freezer a couple days ago. Misses his family but physically I guess he’s fine.”
He’s looking at her, trying to figure something out. “Thanks.”
“I don’t do it for you.”
He sighs, she can tell that he’s trying to keep calm; he doesn’t want to turn this into a fight. “Right.” He turns his palms over on his jean-clad thigh.
“Why’d you leave then, Alaska’s kept you pretty busy, what's changed?”
“You remember those vampires, the Volturi? We had a little run in with them a while ago.” Leah took the seat next to him, prodding him to continue. It was…it was pretty bad. They took Edward with them… and left me with some good old venom in my system.”
“What?” Leah gasped, Venom to them was deadly. Her eyes darted all over him.
“I was useless for a couple months, sittin’ around like a fuckin’ vegetable.” She feels the familiar rage bringing her to the brink of transforming. His hands grasped hers,
“The doc got me moving again,” He let out a humourless laugh, “Getting Edward back was easy, they were surprised it took so long.” He shakes his head once. “It was all a game… the bastards just wanted to see if anything had changed, they wanted to see how powerful the Cullen’s were with Nessie at her strongest.”
“Did they-“ She stops herself from asking if the Cullen’s are ok, there are enough members of the vamp fan club she doesn’t need to put it out there so she settles for “Wow.” Its then that she realises her hand is still encased in his. She tries to tug away but Jacob holds on firmly. His face is a perfect mask while Leah’s scowl makes an appearance. He finally smirks and lets her go.
“It’s been so long Leah” He says, turning onto his side. He gives her a smile, small but real. “You grew your hair back.”
“Yeah well, the crew cut wasn’t really working for me.” She snaps. If she’s honest with herself she’s thought about the moment he came back, the way he’d feel, the way he’d smell, the words - the whole shebang but the thing is Leah doesn’t ever get around to being honest with herself.
And that works for her. “Again. Why are you here Jake?” He shifts on the defence. “With me Jake, why are you sitting here alone with me?”
“Because it’s been two years… and I’ve missed you. So many times I’ve just wanted to talk to you and hear your voice” He leans in closer, his eyes blazing. “Must have picked up the phone a million times -“
“But you didn’t” she glared, jumping up from the seat.
“You asked me not to” He yelled. “You told me that if I cared about you at all, I should just let you go completely. Well guess what I tried!”
“Not hard enough. Apparently.” Jacob shuts his mouth with a snap, with a look of hurt that shouldn’t mean anything to Leah.
“Just because we went our separate ways, I didn’t -
you were one of the most important people to me and now you’re just…gone. I just, I think I should be allowed to miss you ok.”
The smart retort she had on the tip of her tongue promptly dies out, making way for a silence, more comfortable than it had the right to be.
“You remember when things were good Lee?” There’s a weariness about him that makes her ache, two worlds apart collide when she sees him sitting in her living room, it makes her want to cry. “You remember that time we caught your mom and Charlie making out. We’d just got back from a run and there they were... I will never forget your face when your mom told you not to worry because they were using protection. God, you were so traumatised. Charlie couldn’t look you in the eye for weeks.”
Leah remembers warmly, “He still cant” She smiles, “I like to remind him I’m the angry Clearwater, it keeps him on his toes.”
“I bet it does.” He grins a little wider.
He leaves her with a phone number and a promise to catch up soon. Leah doesn’t tempt fate by asking any questions.
*****
They meet for coffee one week from the day, he’s shown her his new place, it’s an even bigger craphole than hers by the way. And yet they haven’t even touched on the basics, why Jacob Black has suddenly relocated - prime example. It shouldn’t have been so easy for him to waltz back into her life, she hates that she’s made it that way - laughing at all his stupid jokes, helping him pick out furniture she’s not even sure he’ll stick around for.
Things are not by any means domestic, she does her shit and he seems to fill out his days too. He doesn’t need to answer to her. Which is why when Seth called her bitchin’ about how much it blows living with middle-aged newlyweds, she didn’t mention the return of their alpha. Jacob seems to appreciate it though, if the sigh of relief was anything to go by.
They’re at the supermarket. Two separate carts of course - just two friends running errands, together. So far he’s loaded up on Corona’s and microwaveable lasagnes, She’s got a pint of milk and some salmon. Sue did manage to teach her a thing or two…
“Leah” They both turn at the voice behind them.
“Daniel, hey.”
“How are you?” He asks with the affection of an old friend. “Heard about the garage”
She smiles in response, “Can’t complain. How are y-“
“Daddy.” A little girl with long brown hair tugged at his pants, “Aunt Leah” She beamed. Jacob glances between the three, lost somewhere along the way.
“Hey sweetie,” She crouches down by the child smoothing over her hair to plant a kiss on her forehead. “I’ve missed you.” The child giggles and points to her outfit,
“I’m a fairy Leah.”
“I can see that. Oh right, you’re going to that party today, well don’t you look pretty.” She can feel Jacob watching intently, “guys this is my friend Jacob.” Jacob reaches out to shake the other mans hand and waves warmly at the little girl who tries not to blush. Leah didn’t blame her, she had the same problem.
“Hi Jacob.” He says, there’s an edge to his voice that Leah pretends not to hear. She’s doing a lot of pretending these days. Jacob straightens up subtly towering over him.
“We should get going or we’re gonna be late. See you around Leah, it was nice meeting you Jacob.” He finally says heading towards the exit. The werewolves say their goodbyes to the family and get back to shopping. Jacob wants to ask but thinks better of it, times like these make them realise how much he’s actually missed. But he knows that she loves hazelnut coffee and coronas are her favourite and she figures that’s enough for now.
*****
Some days he can’t seem to shake himself out of this… daze. It’s on those days when she expects to find him at the garage waiting for her with coffee and donuts on hand. She has to admit; he’s a big help when she’s all backed up with replacing brake pads and fixing engines. She flips on the radio and skips stations till she can hear the steady crescendo of something she can work with and tries to ignores the fact that she can feel him watching her every move.
*****
It’s entirely his fault when it happens and she tells him as much. He turns laughing eyes at her lowering his mouth to her already swollen lips drinking in the taste of her after all this time.
“Totally your fault” He argues, skimming his hands over the white dress she’s wearing, She smiles coyly, and closes her eyes as he leaves wet kisses up along her throat.
“God I’ve missed you.” He breathes, his knee nudges her legs further apart, giving himself space to back them towards her bed. She laughs when he lands on top of her with a grunt. The familiarity of his body has every nerve standing on end, the warmth and strength that no other man could provide has her grasping at his belt, pulling him even closer. She’d known all along, since the moment she saw him waiting for her in front of her building that this is where they would end up. He could have had her then, she wouldn’t have turned him away and he knows it, but she’s so glad that he waited.
Its not just one thing that drives her wild about Jacob, he always managed to push her to the edge and send her tumbling through ecstacy, even in the early days before he’d fully known her body. But if she had to choose it’d be his hands, Jacob has these amazing hands, she remembers watching them, wondering what they would feel like holding her, nothing could ever compete she thinks as she strings her fingers between his matching every part of her body to his. She arches up to meet his lips, tangling her tongue with his. She’s missed him too. She breaks away and his eyes shoot open with the loss. She smiles the small, shy smile she knows he cant resist “I’m really glad you’re here” She whispers against his mouth, pleased when she feels them curve upwards.
*****
They’ve settled into a quiet routine since he’s been there, one that she’s not sure she could give up even if she wanted to. There’s a pack of cigarettes in her back pocket and she finds herself reaching for them in the early hours of the morning -he’ll be up soon and the first draw is always the best. There are birds chirping and its way too early and she wonders when she’d gotten so fucking sentimental.
“Is Leah Clearwater smiling, at 6am no less, somebody alert the media.” A pair of arms encircles her waist; it’s not as crowding as it should be. She leans her head back into the crook of his neck allowing him to drop down for a kiss.
“We’re gonna need to talk you know.” She says watching as he frowns and his hold on her loosens. She pulls his arms back into place, without missing a beat.
“I need to know where we stand Jake.”
*****
She tells herself that she’s strong enough to handle what he’s been stalling to tell her but the truth is she’s not quite so sure. She’s dressed in her yoga pants and an old t-shirt, naturally he’s in a pair of boxers. Its actually pretty funny to see him, face pulled in concentration while he slums it on the couch.
“When I left I was so messed up,” She blinks from her seat opposite him, “…Like in the sad and weepy kind of way, Edward and Jasper couldn’t stand being around me. Imagine that.” She doesn’t feel guilty, it was a necessary evil.
“It went on for months, till one day Nessie got a little too close to some vampires of the non-vegetarian type…and I… snapped.
I literally went postal.
Its not something I’m proud of, I’d lost all control, over the wolf, over my own anger but I cant pretend it didn’t help. It broke me out of the funk I was in and from then on I put all I had into the imprint.”
Leah draws her teeth over her lip, he pauses to look at her, concerned.
“I’m okay, I want to hear this.” She tells him.
“You know how they say finding your imprint is like a blind man seeing the sun, but think of the suns gravitational pull, its like being trapped in its orbit, you cant move… you cant turn away not without being drawn back in.”
Leah has to remind herself to stay firmly seated and not to bolt. “It’s like I miss my dad, I miss my family and I want to see how they’re doing - oh but Nessie’s hungry. Nessie looks a little pale. I wonder if I should call Carlisle.”
“Imagine that, an imprint that doesn’t demand attention.” She snarks.
“Shut up,” He says, shaking his head. “Anyway, I kind of lost myself a while there, and it didn’t matter if they were trying to help me, in the end they couldn’t.
It’s not even their fault, Nessie didn’t ask to have an extra body guard 24-7, she rightly believed I’d be happy as long as she was. Its just that when she was around I was happy its when my mind started to wander that was the problem.”
He scratches at his wrist resting on his lap.
“I don’t know if it was the exposure to her that brought it on or if it was the wolf, but eventually things started to change…my feelings for her started to change.”
Leah knew this was coming, she doesn’t know why it feels like such a blow to the gut, he’s watching for her reaction. She can tell he wants to reach out but he knows she won’t allow it, she nods for him to continue instead.
“I can’t even explain it, Its like I was Jake to the nth degree, maybe I was just going a little crazy but I do have a theory.
I think that being around your imprint after a long period without any…” He sighs, “I don’t know, reciprocation I guess put me into overdrive, I was angry and possessive and not the best company in the world…When the Volturi came, I was at my worst, I’m talkin’ snarling and growling in human form.
The Vampires from South America were there, the ones like Nessie, do you remember Nahuel?”
“Yeah” She said, a feeling of dread washed over her.
“He has… a special interest in Nessie,” Leah frowned, “I didn’t like that and the reason I was so wrecked after the battle is because I’d already tried to tear Nahuel apart when they’d got there.
The thing is, I knew she didn’t want me, I was a brother, an uncle, a protector. I was just so angry, why did I have to imprint. I never wanted it, remember? I never wanted it.”
“I remember,” she responds quietly, “So what, you healed and then headed here?” She knows its not the same thing, but she cant shake the feeling of being a consolation prize…again.
“Not exactly” She looks at him in surprise. “I needed to get my head in check, the Cullen’s said they wanted me to stay but I couldn’t do it. So I just phased…and I ran…and kept running. Sound familiar?” She opens and closes her mouth, no words escaping,
“I ran for months, the pain - from the separation, at first it was unbearable. I would just get these urges to stop and howl at the moon, it was …hard. Unbelievably hard, but I told myself she’d be happy and she needs for me to be gone.
Eventually, things started coming back to me… I wanted to do normal things that I hadn’t even allowed myself to think of. I wanted to talk to dad. I wanted pizza. I wanted you…
And that’s when I headed here.”
*****
“And what happens if she changes her mind?” she asks.
“She wont, I know her Leah… I’ve spoken to her since. its easier now. I feel like I’m Jacob again, I feel like I can talk to her and be the big brother I was meant to be.”
“But if she does?” Could you blame the girl for being insecure.
“Then I’ll fight it, like I already have…there’s no way I can’t beat it, cause if she does…which she wont. Then I’ll have you to smack the sense into me…right”
*****
Sam told her she could do better than be second best. She agreed.
She puts an extra sway in her step, her boots clacking along the floor. She shoots a backwards glance to the man who’s caught her attention before sitting in the booth and turning back to her company.
“Forget it Seth, you’re not moving in with me.”
“Oh come on Lee you wont even notice I’m there.”
“You get mom to sign off on this, then maybe I’ll think about it.” She tells him in his pouting face.
“Awwww man, she’ll never say yes to that.”
“Then stop asking jackass.” He looks offended for the whole minute he could keep it up then breaks into a grin. She wants to ruffle his hair, or pinch his cheeks, he just such a good kid, she slides her cheesecake over to him to devour instead.
He picks up the fork in earnest when a cup is placed in front of her.
“Hazelnut cappuchino.” She looks up with a smile, “Thankyou.”
“Frothy, just how you like it.” He smirks, taking the seat beside her.
“hm, my hero.” She brushes a kiss on his cheek and he rings their hands together stroking from her knuckle up to her wrist and back again. She always did love his hands.
“I am pretty super.” He tells her stealing a sip of her drink,
“Whatever wolf man.” She says rolling her eyes.
“Hey I could be wolf boy.” The teen says, earning equally horrified looks from the couple.
Jacob chuckles, he’s sitting there with an effortless confidence thats taken a while to get back, He never gave up and ultimately found his point of gravity in her and the simple life they’ve made together.
She finds it difficult to look away, only too aware of him pressed along her, shoulder to knee to ankle.
She deserves to come second to no-one and Jacob fights to give her this. He makes her feel all the things he used to but they’re stronger now. He’s fought an imprint, and she’s battled her doubts and they’ve come out on top.
She won’t give this up,
she cant.
“I’m in Seattle.” He blurts.
His voice is clear on the receiver. Perhaps too clear. When he repeats himself she can hear the rich timbre of his voice perfectly, she almost admits to herself that she’s missed it…almost.
“What do you want me to do with that titbit of information Black?”
Her mouth has caught up with her head and for the first thing that came to mind, she’s pretty happy with the result. Everyone knows Leah is a bitch and two years of separation isn’t going to change that, he of all people should know it.
She expects a smirk across the line, a snappy comeback, what she doesn’t expect is,
“I’m a little way away. Are you-“ He’s stumbling over his words in a way she doesn’t remember and she’s not quite sure what to make of that. “Can I come over?” He knows her well enough to know she’s a breath away from telling him to fuck off but he’s hoping her curiosity will get the better of her.
“I…I have an appointment in fifteen minutes.” Surprisingly not a lie. “I can meet you back at my apartment at about 12. Its 10b Breezeway Place, I’ll meet you out front.
“Cool.” He says. She’s already rethinking it. “I - You’re ..ok with this right?”
“…Sure” She says.
Lie. Lie. Lie.
****
She sat through the meeting, one eye on the clock the whole time. She should have been ecstatic. the loan had been approved; she could finally open up shop, a little garage and a little money. Except she wasn’t. Far from it infact, her knees crossed, uncrossed, bounced and crossed again the entire cab ride home.
11.54
The car rolls to a stop and she sees him first, leaning outside her building. Even slouched down she can see he’s gained an inch or so. His hair cropped the way she’s more than used to. Last time she’d seen him he was growing it out again, Nessie liked it long.
She steps out and the sidewalk feels foreign beneath her, the blood can circulate back round her body now that she’s out of the confines. He looks up to see her but she’s not quite sure what he’s seeing, his eyes glaze over for a moment before he blinks slowly. Then he gives her the Black look, the half grin slash jackass smirk. She’d hated it before she’d decided she thought it was kind of cute, now she just plain hates it again.
“Well, well, well, the prodigal son returns.” She says hoping she doesn’t sound as rattled as she feels.
He gestures his arms with a shrug, “In the flesh.” Her arm brushes his and warms her already hot skin. She turns the key in the lock while he turns heavy eyes down at her. She doesn’t meet his gaze, just expects him to follow her into her match- box apartment. She can feel his eyes wander over the place. He’s too quiet, she thinks.
“So whaddya want Jacob? I’m pretty sure you didn’t come back from” She doesn’t even know where he’s been these past few years, “wherever you were to get a tour of my apartment.”
He makes himself comfortable on the couch, and makes no move to explain himself just leans back and closes his eyes. Now she’s worried. Jacob Black doesn’t do quiet, he’s loud and obnoxiously cheerful, especially in awkward situations, this subdued version just doesn’t…fit.
“What are you doing here Jake? Tell me or get the hell out.” She shouts, her hands are tight fists at her sides, she shouldn’t be feeling so out of her depth, this is her house, her turf. He’s already opened his eyes, peering up at her, this time he’s really seeing her and she’s holding her breath.
“Been a long time, needed to see a friendly face.”
“Friendly face?” She laughs. “Why didn’t you go find Seth or I don’t know one of your best friends - Embry? Quil? ringing a bell here?”
“I’m not so sure they’d want to see me,” what and she did? “And just so you know, Alaskas where I’ve been”
“O…kay.” She drawls, quirking an eyebrow in the universal -c’mon, spit it out.
“I haven’t spoken to Billy in months.” He says, wide eyed, “Its not easy for him to be on his own and I haven’t once picked up the phone to see how he’s doing. Who does that?” Well Jacob does apparently, but she figured it wasn’t quite the right time to say it, see she did have some tact. “My whole life was in La Push and I’m so fucking disconnected its not even funn-“
“He’s fine.” She cuts him off, not really wanting to here how bad he feels, “I left a few meals in his freezer a couple days ago. Misses his family but physically I guess he’s fine.”
He’s looking at her, trying to figure something out. “Thanks.”
“I don’t do it for you.”
He sighs, she can tell that he’s trying to keep calm; he doesn’t want to turn this into a fight. “Right.” He turns his palms over on his jean-clad thigh.
“Why’d you leave then, Alaska’s kept you pretty busy, what's changed?”
“You remember those vampires, the Volturi? We had a little run in with them a while ago.” Leah took the seat next to him, prodding him to continue. It was…it was pretty bad. They took Edward with them… and left me with some good old venom in my system.”
“What?” Leah gasped, Venom to them was deadly. Her eyes darted all over him.
“I was useless for a couple months, sittin’ around like a fuckin’ vegetable.” She feels the familiar rage bringing her to the brink of transforming. His hands grasped hers,
“The doc got me moving again,” He let out a humourless laugh, “Getting Edward back was easy, they were surprised it took so long.” He shakes his head once. “It was all a game… the bastards just wanted to see if anything had changed, they wanted to see how powerful the Cullen’s were with Nessie at her strongest.”
“Did they-“ She stops herself from asking if the Cullen’s are ok, there are enough members of the vamp fan club she doesn’t need to put it out there so she settles for “Wow.” Its then that she realises her hand is still encased in his. She tries to tug away but Jacob holds on firmly. His face is a perfect mask while Leah’s scowl makes an appearance. He finally smirks and lets her go.
“It’s been so long Leah” He says, turning onto his side. He gives her a smile, small but real. “You grew your hair back.”
“Yeah well, the crew cut wasn’t really working for me.” She snaps. If she’s honest with herself she’s thought about the moment he came back, the way he’d feel, the way he’d smell, the words - the whole shebang but the thing is Leah doesn’t ever get around to being honest with herself.
And that works for her. “Again. Why are you here Jake?” He shifts on the defence. “With me Jake, why are you sitting here alone with me?”
“Because it’s been two years… and I’ve missed you. So many times I’ve just wanted to talk to you and hear your voice” He leans in closer, his eyes blazing. “Must have picked up the phone a million times -“
“But you didn’t” she glared, jumping up from the seat.
“You asked me not to” He yelled. “You told me that if I cared about you at all, I should just let you go completely. Well guess what I tried!”
“Not hard enough. Apparently.” Jacob shuts his mouth with a snap, with a look of hurt that shouldn’t mean anything to Leah.
“Just because we went our separate ways, I didn’t -
you were one of the most important people to me and now you’re just…gone. I just, I think I should be allowed to miss you ok.”
The smart retort she had on the tip of her tongue promptly dies out, making way for a silence, more comfortable than it had the right to be.
“You remember when things were good Lee?” There’s a weariness about him that makes her ache, two worlds apart collide when she sees him sitting in her living room, it makes her want to cry. “You remember that time we caught your mom and Charlie making out. We’d just got back from a run and there they were... I will never forget your face when your mom told you not to worry because they were using protection. God, you were so traumatised. Charlie couldn’t look you in the eye for weeks.”
Leah remembers warmly, “He still cant” She smiles, “I like to remind him I’m the angry Clearwater, it keeps him on his toes.”
“I bet it does.” He grins a little wider.
He leaves her with a phone number and a promise to catch up soon. Leah doesn’t tempt fate by asking any questions.
*****
They meet for coffee one week from the day, he’s shown her his new place, it’s an even bigger craphole than hers by the way. And yet they haven’t even touched on the basics, why Jacob Black has suddenly relocated - prime example. It shouldn’t have been so easy for him to waltz back into her life, she hates that she’s made it that way - laughing at all his stupid jokes, helping him pick out furniture she’s not even sure he’ll stick around for.
Things are not by any means domestic, she does her shit and he seems to fill out his days too. He doesn’t need to answer to her. Which is why when Seth called her bitchin’ about how much it blows living with middle-aged newlyweds, she didn’t mention the return of their alpha. Jacob seems to appreciate it though, if the sigh of relief was anything to go by.
They’re at the supermarket. Two separate carts of course - just two friends running errands, together. So far he’s loaded up on Corona’s and microwaveable lasagnes, She’s got a pint of milk and some salmon. Sue did manage to teach her a thing or two…
“Leah” They both turn at the voice behind them.
“Daniel, hey.”
“How are you?” He asks with the affection of an old friend. “Heard about the garage”
She smiles in response, “Can’t complain. How are y-“
“Daddy.” A little girl with long brown hair tugged at his pants, “Aunt Leah” She beamed. Jacob glances between the three, lost somewhere along the way.
“Hey sweetie,” She crouches down by the child smoothing over her hair to plant a kiss on her forehead. “I’ve missed you.” The child giggles and points to her outfit,
“I’m a fairy Leah.”
“I can see that. Oh right, you’re going to that party today, well don’t you look pretty.” She can feel Jacob watching intently, “guys this is my friend Jacob.” Jacob reaches out to shake the other mans hand and waves warmly at the little girl who tries not to blush. Leah didn’t blame her, she had the same problem.
“Hi Jacob.” He says, there’s an edge to his voice that Leah pretends not to hear. She’s doing a lot of pretending these days. Jacob straightens up subtly towering over him.
“We should get going or we’re gonna be late. See you around Leah, it was nice meeting you Jacob.” He finally says heading towards the exit. The werewolves say their goodbyes to the family and get back to shopping. Jacob wants to ask but thinks better of it, times like these make them realise how much he’s actually missed. But he knows that she loves hazelnut coffee and coronas are her favourite and she figures that’s enough for now.
*****
Some days he can’t seem to shake himself out of this… daze. It’s on those days when she expects to find him at the garage waiting for her with coffee and donuts on hand. She has to admit; he’s a big help when she’s all backed up with replacing brake pads and fixing engines. She flips on the radio and skips stations till she can hear the steady crescendo of something she can work with and tries to ignores the fact that she can feel him watching her every move.
*****
It’s entirely his fault when it happens and she tells him as much. He turns laughing eyes at her lowering his mouth to her already swollen lips drinking in the taste of her after all this time.
“Totally your fault” He argues, skimming his hands over the white dress she’s wearing, She smiles coyly, and closes her eyes as he leaves wet kisses up along her throat.
“God I’ve missed you.” He breathes, his knee nudges her legs further apart, giving himself space to back them towards her bed. She laughs when he lands on top of her with a grunt. The familiarity of his body has every nerve standing on end, the warmth and strength that no other man could provide has her grasping at his belt, pulling him even closer. She’d known all along, since the moment she saw him waiting for her in front of her building that this is where they would end up. He could have had her then, she wouldn’t have turned him away and he knows it, but she’s so glad that he waited.
Its not just one thing that drives her wild about Jacob, he always managed to push her to the edge and send her tumbling through ecstacy, even in the early days before he’d fully known her body. But if she had to choose it’d be his hands, Jacob has these amazing hands, she remembers watching them, wondering what they would feel like holding her, nothing could ever compete she thinks as she strings her fingers between his matching every part of her body to his. She arches up to meet his lips, tangling her tongue with his. She’s missed him too. She breaks away and his eyes shoot open with the loss. She smiles the small, shy smile she knows he cant resist “I’m really glad you’re here” She whispers against his mouth, pleased when she feels them curve upwards.
*****
They’ve settled into a quiet routine since he’s been there, one that she’s not sure she could give up even if she wanted to. There’s a pack of cigarettes in her back pocket and she finds herself reaching for them in the early hours of the morning -he’ll be up soon and the first draw is always the best. There are birds chirping and its way too early and she wonders when she’d gotten so fucking sentimental.
“Is Leah Clearwater smiling, at 6am no less, somebody alert the media.” A pair of arms encircles her waist; it’s not as crowding as it should be. She leans her head back into the crook of his neck allowing him to drop down for a kiss.
“We’re gonna need to talk you know.” She says watching as he frowns and his hold on her loosens. She pulls his arms back into place, without missing a beat.
“I need to know where we stand Jake.”
*****
She tells herself that she’s strong enough to handle what he’s been stalling to tell her but the truth is she’s not quite so sure. She’s dressed in her yoga pants and an old t-shirt, naturally he’s in a pair of boxers. Its actually pretty funny to see him, face pulled in concentration while he slums it on the couch.
“When I left I was so messed up,” She blinks from her seat opposite him, “…Like in the sad and weepy kind of way, Edward and Jasper couldn’t stand being around me. Imagine that.” She doesn’t feel guilty, it was a necessary evil.
“It went on for months, till one day Nessie got a little too close to some vampires of the non-vegetarian type…and I… snapped.
I literally went postal.
Its not something I’m proud of, I’d lost all control, over the wolf, over my own anger but I cant pretend it didn’t help. It broke me out of the funk I was in and from then on I put all I had into the imprint.”
Leah draws her teeth over her lip, he pauses to look at her, concerned.
“I’m okay, I want to hear this.” She tells him.
“You know how they say finding your imprint is like a blind man seeing the sun, but think of the suns gravitational pull, its like being trapped in its orbit, you cant move… you cant turn away not without being drawn back in.”
Leah has to remind herself to stay firmly seated and not to bolt. “It’s like I miss my dad, I miss my family and I want to see how they’re doing - oh but Nessie’s hungry. Nessie looks a little pale. I wonder if I should call Carlisle.”
“Imagine that, an imprint that doesn’t demand attention.” She snarks.
“Shut up,” He says, shaking his head. “Anyway, I kind of lost myself a while there, and it didn’t matter if they were trying to help me, in the end they couldn’t.
It’s not even their fault, Nessie didn’t ask to have an extra body guard 24-7, she rightly believed I’d be happy as long as she was. Its just that when she was around I was happy its when my mind started to wander that was the problem.”
He scratches at his wrist resting on his lap.
“I don’t know if it was the exposure to her that brought it on or if it was the wolf, but eventually things started to change…my feelings for her started to change.”
Leah knew this was coming, she doesn’t know why it feels like such a blow to the gut, he’s watching for her reaction. She can tell he wants to reach out but he knows she won’t allow it, she nods for him to continue instead.
“I can’t even explain it, Its like I was Jake to the nth degree, maybe I was just going a little crazy but I do have a theory.
I think that being around your imprint after a long period without any…” He sighs, “I don’t know, reciprocation I guess put me into overdrive, I was angry and possessive and not the best company in the world…When the Volturi came, I was at my worst, I’m talkin’ snarling and growling in human form.
The Vampires from South America were there, the ones like Nessie, do you remember Nahuel?”
“Yeah” She said, a feeling of dread washed over her.
“He has… a special interest in Nessie,” Leah frowned, “I didn’t like that and the reason I was so wrecked after the battle is because I’d already tried to tear Nahuel apart when they’d got there.
The thing is, I knew she didn’t want me, I was a brother, an uncle, a protector. I was just so angry, why did I have to imprint. I never wanted it, remember? I never wanted it.”
“I remember,” she responds quietly, “So what, you healed and then headed here?” She knows its not the same thing, but she cant shake the feeling of being a consolation prize…again.
“Not exactly” She looks at him in surprise. “I needed to get my head in check, the Cullen’s said they wanted me to stay but I couldn’t do it. So I just phased…and I ran…and kept running. Sound familiar?” She opens and closes her mouth, no words escaping,
“I ran for months, the pain - from the separation, at first it was unbearable. I would just get these urges to stop and howl at the moon, it was …hard. Unbelievably hard, but I told myself she’d be happy and she needs for me to be gone.
Eventually, things started coming back to me… I wanted to do normal things that I hadn’t even allowed myself to think of. I wanted to talk to dad. I wanted pizza. I wanted you…
And that’s when I headed here.”
*****
“And what happens if she changes her mind?” she asks.
“She wont, I know her Leah… I’ve spoken to her since. its easier now. I feel like I’m Jacob again, I feel like I can talk to her and be the big brother I was meant to be.”
“But if she does?” Could you blame the girl for being insecure.
“Then I’ll fight it, like I already have…there’s no way I can’t beat it, cause if she does…which she wont. Then I’ll have you to smack the sense into me…right”
*****
Sam told her she could do better than be second best. She agreed.
She puts an extra sway in her step, her boots clacking along the floor. She shoots a backwards glance to the man who’s caught her attention before sitting in the booth and turning back to her company.
“Forget it Seth, you’re not moving in with me.”
“Oh come on Lee you wont even notice I’m there.”
“You get mom to sign off on this, then maybe I’ll think about it.” She tells him in his pouting face.
“Awwww man, she’ll never say yes to that.”
“Then stop asking jackass.” He looks offended for the whole minute he could keep it up then breaks into a grin. She wants to ruffle his hair, or pinch his cheeks, he just such a good kid, she slides her cheesecake over to him to devour instead.
He picks up the fork in earnest when a cup is placed in front of her.
“Hazelnut cappuchino.” She looks up with a smile, “Thankyou.”
“Frothy, just how you like it.” He smirks, taking the seat beside her.
“hm, my hero.” She brushes a kiss on his cheek and he rings their hands together stroking from her knuckle up to her wrist and back again. She always did love his hands.
“I am pretty super.” He tells her stealing a sip of her drink,
“Whatever wolf man.” She says rolling her eyes.
“Hey I could be wolf boy.” The teen says, earning equally horrified looks from the couple.
Jacob chuckles, he’s sitting there with an effortless confidence thats taken a while to get back, He never gave up and ultimately found his point of gravity in her and the simple life they’ve made together.
She finds it difficult to look away, only too aware of him pressed along her, shoulder to knee to ankle.
She deserves to come second to no-one and Jacob fights to give her this. He makes her feel all the things he used to but they’re stronger now. He’s fought an imprint, and she’s battled her doubts and they’ve come out on top.
She won’t give this up,
she cant.