Breakeven (7/?)
TITLE: Breakeven
AUTHOR: naddypants
RATING: 15
CHARACTERS: Ianto and Jack. Don't worry they'll get together in the end!
SUMMARY: With Lisa gone and Ianto left alone with a baby in a cold hospital, his life feels like its about to end. But will it? (Still at Jack's and very much hungover)
WARNINGS: Completely and utterly AU. Turn back now if you don't like AU...Also, it's a bit sad in places.
A/N: Not much to say really, but I guess I wrote this pretty spontaneously. I've been wanting to write AU for a while (you can blame
just_being_me08 and her amazing Tales of a Time Agency for that) and this story came along and it seemed to work. I really hope it does, as it's kind of close to my heart in a sense...Also, this chapter is dedicated to the amazing melthorne for being an awesome beta, and making me feel really good about this chappy. Special dedis for just_being_me08 too as she never ever fails to put a smile on my face, and support my writing and generally be the source of all my confidence!
DISCLAIMER: I own the action figures, 'cause I'm cool like that. The actual series etc, belongs to RTD and the big ole Beeb. I can't afford to be sued, I'm still in school!
Part 1: ( 'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even... )
Part 2: ( I'm sorry about the madness, but that's the way it's gotta be... )
Part 3: ( Throw me a lifeline. )
Part 4: ( You've got brown eyes like no one else... )
Part 5: ( Hush little baby... )
Part 6: ( I'm havin' fun, don't put me down. )
Maybe Jack wouldn't have felt so helpless if he'd been able to hold Ianto's hair back, or something. Instead he'd decided it was best to leave Ianto hunched over the toilet gagging, now at the point where he'd rid himself of everything in his stomach.
He was beginning to suspect Ianto had received food poisoning on top of the hangover from hell, but the only problem with that theory was that he had eaten exactly the same meal as Ianto the night previous, and save for a minor headache, he felt fine.
And Ianto quite obviously wasn't pregnant, so what was ailing him? Jack was just about ready to load Ianto into the car and take to see a doctor when the sound of footsteps padding towards him sounded. "Sorry..."
"You okay?"
"I think I am now yeah...more surprised than anything..."
Jack glanced round at Ianto and smiled weakly, "The hangover surprised you?"
Ianto nodded, a wicked smirk gracing his lips, before turning quickly to a pout. "It jumped out and scared me". He laughed, and carefully gauged Jack's response before speaking again. "I'm going to go out for a walk, that okay?"
"Who am I to stop you? Would you mind taking Butch with you though?"
"No problem"
**************
Ianto paced the pavements around the estate; identical middle-class abodes lining each side of the road, all with near-identical, extortionately-priced four door saloon cars sitting outside each of them. The whole place was so depressingly perfect. And so as he drifted past, he just ignored them, getting steadily more lost within his own mind, as well as the outside world as he let the tiny Yorkshire Terrier lead him wherever it decided to go.
Ianto continued pacing, letting his mind fall completely blank as he paced, the cool mid-morning air easing the throbbing in his skull until Butch defiantly planted himself on the ground before a park bench and refused to move. Ianto sighed and leant over to pick the dog up, planning on slipping him under his armpit and walking back to Jack's house, but the dog merely growled at him and nudged at his ankles.
Taking the hint, Ianto settled onto the bench, eyeing the dog below him as it first settled on his feet, before deciding that he wanted a better view of the pond before them, half-jumping up, unable to reach and amusing Ianto greatly in the process as he lifted the tiny creature onto his lap.
Gazing out onto the pond, Ianto thought back to the night previous, and the subsequent concoction of feelings that were stirring in his gut still. He wasn't sure if any of them were definite, but what he did know was that he'd been locked lip to lip with Jack Harkness not 8 hours ago...and he wasn't sure how he felt about that.
Surely there should be tsunamis of guilt drowning him, or at least taking his mind off his horrid headache, but alas, the rumbling feeling in his stomach was slowly morphing into a complete state of confusion...
Moments later, Ianto's mobile phone started to ring. He hadn't had it on since he'd been in the hospital, and when he'd turned it on the previous day, wasn't surprised that there was just a text from O2 informing him that he was getting more free minutes - as if he needed them.
Not even looking at the flashing screen, he pressed the answer button and raised the phone to his ear, sighing, "Hello," into the receiver.
"Ianto! Hello..." It took him a moment to register the soft almost-English accent drifting into his ears as that of Toshiko Sato, but when he did, a smile made it's way onto his lips. She was just the person he needed to talk to to get his mind off things... "Uhm...how are you Ianto?"
"I've had worse days."
She chuckled darkly down the line, "That's not what I meant. I've been so worried about you...and I know you told me not to call, but Ianto it's been ages!"
"Not coping so well without my coffee Toshie?"
"Nevermind me! You should see the green-eyed-bosster in the mornings, it's terrifying," she replied after a beat, clearly realising that Ianto didn't want to dwell on the topic of his family as her tone lightened. She knew him well enough to know he'd open up to her when he was ready.
Oh how he'd missed gossiping about work with Tosh. He smiled, "Go on then; what have I missed?"
And thus began a (mostly one-sided) conversation on what had been going on at work ('Tom and Martha got engaged! Oh my god! And the other day Gwen had a fit that all she could have was tea...Oh Ianto...'). It soon became clear that Tosh was the one who missed Ianto the most though, and for all her talk of hating Gwen, and Martha being 'so up herself sometimes', she really just missed the camaraderie they shared. He quietly vowed to see her soon and promised they'd be talking over the coffee machine in no time before hanging up and returning the phone to his pocket.
Butch meanwhile was gazing at him, expectant eyes boring into his.
"What?" He asked as if the dog was suddenly going to be able to communicate with him. He smiled. "C'mon then, home"
****
The walk back was pleasant, again, Butch inadvertently leading the way, as Ianto now had little idea of where he was anymore. Of course, by the time they had arrived onto the street Jack lived in, Ianto knew where to go, the hulking black shape of Jack's Jeep rising above most of the gardens, making it instantly obvious where they were headed.
Walking up the ill-kept driveway, edged with weeds, gazing at the grass beyond that in disarray, it gave Ianto a strange sense of contentment. That compared to everyone else who lived in their middle class delusion, Jack actually had time for a life and not to get bogged down in a world where everyone behaved like they were in Desperate Housewives.
Of course, walking into the house, Ianto imagined it was probably neat and clean cut like the others before Jack had lost Estelle, which brought him to thoughts of Lisa, no longer as painful as they once were, but nonetheless still stinging like a freshly opened scab.
He didn't get much further than the doorway when the sound of sniffing permeated his thoughts, ill-concealed sobs breaking the silence and rendering him incapable of movement.
The sound of the door swinging shut with an almighty bang as a gust of wind took it's moment to surprise both men into some form of movement. Ianto shuffling towards the door of the living room, whilst Jack swiped a hand down his tearstained face and stood up, pacing to the door.
"...Jack?" Ianto was eyeing up Jack with unease, not really sure what to do or say, but slightly concerned at the other man's tears. "...What is it?"
He laughed. Despite the red blotches surrounding his eyes, and disjointed tear trails crusted down his cheeks, a loud (if shaky) rumble of a laughter erupted from Jack. Ianto dropped Butch's lead and moved closer, coercing Jack towards the sofa, all the while wondering if the other man was having some sort of breakdown.
"It's weird you know," Jack said brightly, taking Ianto by surprise; his breaths still slightly raspy as he spoke, "I haven't cried over Estelle since the day of her funeral. In fact, the only time I've cried recently was when they told me I was going to lose Dylan. As if the world wasn't cruel enough." He was rambling, and Ianto knew it, but he also knew from experience that it was probably best not to interrupt the man mid-flow. He'd get to the point eventually.
"And that's where you come in. Last night I thought I was doing you a favour. A night in with a mate, but then I get this hazy memory, some piece of information; then I remember I woke up on top of you, and all the pieces come together. And the guilt of what I must have done...I mean the wounds are still fresh and-"
Ianto raised his hand to silence him. "We were drunk. No big."
Jack's mouth fell slightly open, his eyes widening in surprise. "But-"
Smiling back reassuringly, he shook his head, "It's fine. If you want any more excuses I also have, 'We were both lonely' and 'It's been too long' on the press too"
Jack chuckled. "Right, good...'cause I was thinking...uhm..."
Ianto's eyebrow instinctively quirked and he sighed, willing Jack to just spit out whatever he was going to say before they both reached senility. The other man was clearly nervous about something, but what it was, he had no idea...
Taking a deep breath Jack finally spilled the words that were on the tip of his tongue in one horribly extended word; "Doyouwanttogotothatposhplaceintownfordinner?"
"...Sorry?"
"Do you want to go to that posh place in town for dinner? ...With me?"
Okay. Soooo. What will Ianto say? Anyways, what did you think? Good, bad, not really fussed? I always love to hear what you guys think because, well, it's you lot I'm writing for, yeah? So please, please, comment and let me know what you think! :D
AUTHOR: naddypants
RATING: 15
CHARACTERS: Ianto and Jack. Don't worry they'll get together in the end!
SUMMARY: With Lisa gone and Ianto left alone with a baby in a cold hospital, his life feels like its about to end. But will it? (Still at Jack's and very much hungover)
WARNINGS: Completely and utterly AU. Turn back now if you don't like AU...Also, it's a bit sad in places.
A/N: Not much to say really, but I guess I wrote this pretty spontaneously. I've been wanting to write AU for a while (you can blame
just_being_me08 and her amazing Tales of a Time Agency for that) and this story came along and it seemed to work. I really hope it does, as it's kind of close to my heart in a sense...Also, this chapter is dedicated to the amazing melthorne for being an awesome beta, and making me feel really good about this chappy. Special dedis for just_being_me08 too as she never ever fails to put a smile on my face, and support my writing and generally be the source of all my confidence!
DISCLAIMER: I own the action figures, 'cause I'm cool like that. The actual series etc, belongs to RTD and the big ole Beeb. I can't afford to be sued, I'm still in school!
Part 1: ( 'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even... )
Part 2: ( I'm sorry about the madness, but that's the way it's gotta be... )
Part 3: ( Throw me a lifeline. )
Part 4: ( You've got brown eyes like no one else... )
Part 5: ( Hush little baby... )
Part 6: ( I'm havin' fun, don't put me down. )
Maybe Jack wouldn't have felt so helpless if he'd been able to hold Ianto's hair back, or something. Instead he'd decided it was best to leave Ianto hunched over the toilet gagging, now at the point where he'd rid himself of everything in his stomach.
He was beginning to suspect Ianto had received food poisoning on top of the hangover from hell, but the only problem with that theory was that he had eaten exactly the same meal as Ianto the night previous, and save for a minor headache, he felt fine.
And Ianto quite obviously wasn't pregnant, so what was ailing him? Jack was just about ready to load Ianto into the car and take to see a doctor when the sound of footsteps padding towards him sounded. "Sorry..."
"You okay?"
"I think I am now yeah...more surprised than anything..."
Jack glanced round at Ianto and smiled weakly, "The hangover surprised you?"
Ianto nodded, a wicked smirk gracing his lips, before turning quickly to a pout. "It jumped out and scared me". He laughed, and carefully gauged Jack's response before speaking again. "I'm going to go out for a walk, that okay?"
"Who am I to stop you? Would you mind taking Butch with you though?"
"No problem"
**************
Ianto paced the pavements around the estate; identical middle-class abodes lining each side of the road, all with near-identical, extortionately-priced four door saloon cars sitting outside each of them. The whole place was so depressingly perfect. And so as he drifted past, he just ignored them, getting steadily more lost within his own mind, as well as the outside world as he let the tiny Yorkshire Terrier lead him wherever it decided to go.
Ianto continued pacing, letting his mind fall completely blank as he paced, the cool mid-morning air easing the throbbing in his skull until Butch defiantly planted himself on the ground before a park bench and refused to move. Ianto sighed and leant over to pick the dog up, planning on slipping him under his armpit and walking back to Jack's house, but the dog merely growled at him and nudged at his ankles.
Taking the hint, Ianto settled onto the bench, eyeing the dog below him as it first settled on his feet, before deciding that he wanted a better view of the pond before them, half-jumping up, unable to reach and amusing Ianto greatly in the process as he lifted the tiny creature onto his lap.
Gazing out onto the pond, Ianto thought back to the night previous, and the subsequent concoction of feelings that were stirring in his gut still. He wasn't sure if any of them were definite, but what he did know was that he'd been locked lip to lip with Jack Harkness not 8 hours ago...and he wasn't sure how he felt about that.
Surely there should be tsunamis of guilt drowning him, or at least taking his mind off his horrid headache, but alas, the rumbling feeling in his stomach was slowly morphing into a complete state of confusion...
Moments later, Ianto's mobile phone started to ring. He hadn't had it on since he'd been in the hospital, and when he'd turned it on the previous day, wasn't surprised that there was just a text from O2 informing him that he was getting more free minutes - as if he needed them.
Not even looking at the flashing screen, he pressed the answer button and raised the phone to his ear, sighing, "Hello," into the receiver.
"Ianto! Hello..." It took him a moment to register the soft almost-English accent drifting into his ears as that of Toshiko Sato, but when he did, a smile made it's way onto his lips. She was just the person he needed to talk to to get his mind off things... "Uhm...how are you Ianto?"
"I've had worse days."
She chuckled darkly down the line, "That's not what I meant. I've been so worried about you...and I know you told me not to call, but Ianto it's been ages!"
"Not coping so well without my coffee Toshie?"
"Nevermind me! You should see the green-eyed-bosster in the mornings, it's terrifying," she replied after a beat, clearly realising that Ianto didn't want to dwell on the topic of his family as her tone lightened. She knew him well enough to know he'd open up to her when he was ready.
Oh how he'd missed gossiping about work with Tosh. He smiled, "Go on then; what have I missed?"
And thus began a (mostly one-sided) conversation on what had been going on at work ('Tom and Martha got engaged! Oh my god! And the other day Gwen had a fit that all she could have was tea...Oh Ianto...'). It soon became clear that Tosh was the one who missed Ianto the most though, and for all her talk of hating Gwen, and Martha being 'so up herself sometimes', she really just missed the camaraderie they shared. He quietly vowed to see her soon and promised they'd be talking over the coffee machine in no time before hanging up and returning the phone to his pocket.
Butch meanwhile was gazing at him, expectant eyes boring into his.
"What?" He asked as if the dog was suddenly going to be able to communicate with him. He smiled. "C'mon then, home"
****
The walk back was pleasant, again, Butch inadvertently leading the way, as Ianto now had little idea of where he was anymore. Of course, by the time they had arrived onto the street Jack lived in, Ianto knew where to go, the hulking black shape of Jack's Jeep rising above most of the gardens, making it instantly obvious where they were headed.
Walking up the ill-kept driveway, edged with weeds, gazing at the grass beyond that in disarray, it gave Ianto a strange sense of contentment. That compared to everyone else who lived in their middle class delusion, Jack actually had time for a life and not to get bogged down in a world where everyone behaved like they were in Desperate Housewives.
Of course, walking into the house, Ianto imagined it was probably neat and clean cut like the others before Jack had lost Estelle, which brought him to thoughts of Lisa, no longer as painful as they once were, but nonetheless still stinging like a freshly opened scab.
He didn't get much further than the doorway when the sound of sniffing permeated his thoughts, ill-concealed sobs breaking the silence and rendering him incapable of movement.
The sound of the door swinging shut with an almighty bang as a gust of wind took it's moment to surprise both men into some form of movement. Ianto shuffling towards the door of the living room, whilst Jack swiped a hand down his tearstained face and stood up, pacing to the door.
"...Jack?" Ianto was eyeing up Jack with unease, not really sure what to do or say, but slightly concerned at the other man's tears. "...What is it?"
He laughed. Despite the red blotches surrounding his eyes, and disjointed tear trails crusted down his cheeks, a loud (if shaky) rumble of a laughter erupted from Jack. Ianto dropped Butch's lead and moved closer, coercing Jack towards the sofa, all the while wondering if the other man was having some sort of breakdown.
"It's weird you know," Jack said brightly, taking Ianto by surprise; his breaths still slightly raspy as he spoke, "I haven't cried over Estelle since the day of her funeral. In fact, the only time I've cried recently was when they told me I was going to lose Dylan. As if the world wasn't cruel enough." He was rambling, and Ianto knew it, but he also knew from experience that it was probably best not to interrupt the man mid-flow. He'd get to the point eventually.
"And that's where you come in. Last night I thought I was doing you a favour. A night in with a mate, but then I get this hazy memory, some piece of information; then I remember I woke up on top of you, and all the pieces come together. And the guilt of what I must have done...I mean the wounds are still fresh and-"
Ianto raised his hand to silence him. "We were drunk. No big."
Jack's mouth fell slightly open, his eyes widening in surprise. "But-"
Smiling back reassuringly, he shook his head, "It's fine. If you want any more excuses I also have, 'We were both lonely' and 'It's been too long' on the press too"
Jack chuckled. "Right, good...'cause I was thinking...uhm..."
Ianto's eyebrow instinctively quirked and he sighed, willing Jack to just spit out whatever he was going to say before they both reached senility. The other man was clearly nervous about something, but what it was, he had no idea...
Taking a deep breath Jack finally spilled the words that were on the tip of his tongue in one horribly extended word; "Doyouwanttogotothatposhplaceintownfordinner?"
"...Sorry?"
"Do you want to go to that posh place in town for dinner? ...With me?"
Okay. Soooo. What will Ianto say? Anyways, what did you think? Good, bad, not really fussed? I always love to hear what you guys think because, well, it's you lot I'm writing for, yeah? So please, please, comment and let me know what you think! :D