And I thought it was bad before.
Every time I make a new LJ post, what happened in the last one always seems so much different from how it is now. She called me back after my rant there and everything got fixed. The problem is, she got kicked out of school and can't come back to Tucson for school (either U of A or the local community college) till this fall =\ When I got to see her yesterday before she left, we made out several times. That helped a lot. But the high that gave me seems to have already worn off, and now it's been replaced by something I'm completely new to.
The feeling of missing someone. Someone who, honestly, I think I'm in love with. This isn't like the doubting feelings I got when I couldn't get in contact with her, or the dull ache I had in me when I was single. This is different. It's fear, pain, longing and comfort all at once. Fear that it will be a long time before I get to spend a lot of time with her again; pain, weak but always there, that she isn't 2 blocks away anymore; longing to have her with me again; and comfort in that I've found someone who I can care about this much, to feel this way and be glad for it.
When we parted I told her two things. The first was that I would wait for her as long as it takes, for her to come back to me. She smiled and thanked me. The second was that I loved her; despite all my mental attempts to keep myself thinking that maybe a month was too early to feel this strongly, I couldn't keep that emotion in any longer. She smiled and said...well, nothing. I suppose I just have to believe that what she conveys in her emotions and actions says it for her.
The feeling of missing someone. Someone who, honestly, I think I'm in love with. This isn't like the doubting feelings I got when I couldn't get in contact with her, or the dull ache I had in me when I was single. This is different. It's fear, pain, longing and comfort all at once. Fear that it will be a long time before I get to spend a lot of time with her again; pain, weak but always there, that she isn't 2 blocks away anymore; longing to have her with me again; and comfort in that I've found someone who I can care about this much, to feel this way and be glad for it.
When we parted I told her two things. The first was that I would wait for her as long as it takes, for her to come back to me. She smiled and thanked me. The second was that I loved her; despite all my mental attempts to keep myself thinking that maybe a month was too early to feel this strongly, I couldn't keep that emotion in any longer. She smiled and said...well, nothing. I suppose I just have to believe that what she conveys in her emotions and actions says it for her.