I'll make the "cat-ass-trophe" joke so you don't have to.

Nov 06, 2013 05:56

Welp, it finally happened.

Etrigan's ass-funk.  On my face.

We were playing fetch while I dried off from the shower.  I threw the mouse, he lost it, I carried him over to the couch to show him it was on the other side, VERY GENTLY pushed him off the couch toward it, and got a broadside across the starboard bow.

I didn't realize where it was coming from at first, and thought it was my shirt, but no, MY FACE.  It'd been a month or so since the last time, so it was kind of inevitable. Usually he rips one off about every two weeks, but I've been so, so careful about not kicking him in the ass or picking him up wrong.  This is NOT EASY.  He darts in front of us and will STOP, so he sometimes gets kicked in the ass entirely by accident, and this has caused at least one other eruption.  Also, he can't be picked up around the chest, since it gives him an asthma attack, so he has to be picked up braced behind his thighs, or in a weird modified anvil-carry, both of which put pressure on his ass.

So the shirt went into the laundry and I got a Silkwood shower.  Vinegar takes that shit right off.  Smelly vinegar.  On my face.  Cat ass with vinaigrette, salad lightly tossed.  But my hair and face are satiny soft on that side, so, silver linings?

This has happened many times before.  He's butt-stunk on lots of things.  My pillow.  The wall behind my bed.  Two shirts.  My leg.  My arm, at least three times.  Sargon's arm, I think.  Sargon's sheets, twice.  Last time it was in my hair.  Which was actually worse -- it's harder to get out of hair.

Understand, I can't be even the slightest bit angry with him.

First, it's absolutely not his fault.  The times he's NOTICED he's done it, he's been as shocked and dismayed as anyone.

Second, he's a very sweet cat who has helped me a lot through this last sucky phase, and I'm grateful and lucky to have him, ass-funk and all.

Third, I would many, many times over rather he butt-stink on ME than on something I cannot easily clean, like the couch.

Fourth, there are more disgusting things.  Cat musk may smell like someone shit in a rotting fox, but it's not actually waste.  Just concentrated musk.  I realize the difference may appear academic to you, but it bothers me way less.

HOWEVER. If I can ever get my schedule worked around so that I can get him in to see the vet, he's going to the vet ASAP, where I will have Anal Gland Girl show me how to express them myself, and we will see if we can keep this from happening again.  Can't we all just get along?

At least I was not this person.  They had their mouth open and everything.

And, just FYI, there is legit nothing wrong with him at all in that area that anyone has ever been able to find.  I will ask again, but I truly believe he just has really active anal glands, and it's actually a good thing (for him) that they self-express instead of getting impacted, which could easily happen.  I just don't want to be caught in the line of fire.

Note to friends: he should be perfectly safe to handle for at least a week.  He's shot his load.  So don't worry about petting him next time you see him.
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etrigan, cats, animals

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