Randomness, mostly involving cat butthole.
I try not to go this long without posting, but Livejournal is so quiet these days. Yes, I'm aware of the irony of complaining about that after not posting for 12 days.
I've felt pretty good, lately. Stable.
I have little energy, but my spirits have been good, and the panic attacks and general hovering anxiety have dissipated. They're barely clouds on the horizon, and only occasionally threaten. They'll come back, they always do, but it's better for right now.
The balance of meds is right. I'm learning to steer without yanking the controls. Small adjustments. Little things I can do. It doesn't put a roof on the anxiety or a floor on the depression, but it minimizes bouncing between the two, which is exhausting and demoralizing.
There are things to worry about, if I allow myself to worry, but I mostly try not to. They're things out of my control, or things I can affect, but I can only do so much at a time.
The cats are doing well, mostly. Fish and Sif are stressed from the boys wanting to play all the time, and because they are assholes, they play rough. I try to minimize this, but it's constant. And frustrating. They had their second aderpshun day early this month, and they still act like kittens. Smooch because he has atrocious impulse control issues, and Etrigan because he's too stupid to mature past that extremely stupid kitten phase. They are both full of love and intermittently very, very smelly.
I can't remember if I posted about it here, or just briefly on Facebook, and I am too lazy to go look, but several weeks ago, Sargon lifted Etrigan off the back of a chair I was sitting in, and the little asshole tensed up and accidentally vented his anal glands on the back of my head.
The stench was horrific and RIGHT NEXT TO MY HEAD. All of my clothes had to go into the washer without touching the floor or any other furniture, and I was making incoherent and completely involuntary gargling noises the whole time. It was briefly worse when I got in the shower, because the hot water basically turned it into one of those scent-diffuser things, and the entire bathroom was bathed in the lovely aroma of cat musk. It was an awful lot like being inside Satan's sweaty butthole. I had to shampoo twice with a vinegar rinse before each one to break the stink down. My hair was really soft afterwards, at least.
It was, of course, fucking hilarious, and since it didn't get on the chair, no real harm was done. I can smell again, and everything.
Shit-For-Brains, though, is getting his ass-pimples popped next time I take him to the vet, because, while there is nothing wrong with him that is making him do this -- his anal glands are not impacted or anything like that, and the stuff that comes out looks and smells normal for cat musk . . . some cats just do this more often than other cats -- I'm just tired of him doing it, because he manages to butt-stink on something about once every three or four months, and someday it's going to get on something I cannot wash and could not replace. And that stuff is powerful.
Luckily, the Banfield we take him to has a vet tech there known as Anal Gland Girl. How's that for a superhero name? Apparently she's good at it, and doesn't mind being ASSigned the chore.
And on that note, I believe I shall leave you.
For god's sake, ask some questions or provide me with things you want to hear me blither on about, because I miss the interaction, but my brain has simply not been equal to the task of deciding how to fill the silence.
X-posted from Dreamwidth. Comment count:
I've felt pretty good, lately. Stable.
I have little energy, but my spirits have been good, and the panic attacks and general hovering anxiety have dissipated. They're barely clouds on the horizon, and only occasionally threaten. They'll come back, they always do, but it's better for right now.
The balance of meds is right. I'm learning to steer without yanking the controls. Small adjustments. Little things I can do. It doesn't put a roof on the anxiety or a floor on the depression, but it minimizes bouncing between the two, which is exhausting and demoralizing.
There are things to worry about, if I allow myself to worry, but I mostly try not to. They're things out of my control, or things I can affect, but I can only do so much at a time.
The cats are doing well, mostly. Fish and Sif are stressed from the boys wanting to play all the time, and because they are assholes, they play rough. I try to minimize this, but it's constant. And frustrating. They had their second aderpshun day early this month, and they still act like kittens. Smooch because he has atrocious impulse control issues, and Etrigan because he's too stupid to mature past that extremely stupid kitten phase. They are both full of love and intermittently very, very smelly.
I can't remember if I posted about it here, or just briefly on Facebook, and I am too lazy to go look, but several weeks ago, Sargon lifted Etrigan off the back of a chair I was sitting in, and the little asshole tensed up and accidentally vented his anal glands on the back of my head.
The stench was horrific and RIGHT NEXT TO MY HEAD. All of my clothes had to go into the washer without touching the floor or any other furniture, and I was making incoherent and completely involuntary gargling noises the whole time. It was briefly worse when I got in the shower, because the hot water basically turned it into one of those scent-diffuser things, and the entire bathroom was bathed in the lovely aroma of cat musk. It was an awful lot like being inside Satan's sweaty butthole. I had to shampoo twice with a vinegar rinse before each one to break the stink down. My hair was really soft afterwards, at least.
It was, of course, fucking hilarious, and since it didn't get on the chair, no real harm was done. I can smell again, and everything.
Shit-For-Brains, though, is getting his ass-pimples popped next time I take him to the vet, because, while there is nothing wrong with him that is making him do this -- his anal glands are not impacted or anything like that, and the stuff that comes out looks and smells normal for cat musk . . . some cats just do this more often than other cats -- I'm just tired of him doing it, because he manages to butt-stink on something about once every three or four months, and someday it's going to get on something I cannot wash and could not replace. And that stuff is powerful.
Luckily, the Banfield we take him to has a vet tech there known as Anal Gland Girl. How's that for a superhero name? Apparently she's good at it, and doesn't mind being ASSigned the chore.
And on that note, I believe I shall leave you.
For god's sake, ask some questions or provide me with things you want to hear me blither on about, because I miss the interaction, but my brain has simply not been equal to the task of deciding how to fill the silence.
X-posted from Dreamwidth. Comment count: