Lonely.
I used to hear voices, in the dark, before I went to sleep. A low murmuring, always male, either incomprehensible or nonsense words strung together with the cadence of speech. I always thought it was cool, and I found it comforting. I assumed it was the tinnitus I've had since I was a kid, but when I got medicated for the bipolar thing, they
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Before the boyfriend and I moved in together, I often talked myself to sleep. It was a delicate balance, because I couldn't talk about anything that wound me up or I'd get so upset I'd be waking up instead of falling asleep. So it'd be little things I'd talk about - the process for making whatever it was I was planning to make for dinner the next day, what assignments needed to be done tomorrow, the project(s) I currently had my hands in, what errands needed to be run, so on. It helped somewhat to keep my tinnitis from turning random sounds into words, but only somewhat. I often had to get up and turn off the air conditioner (an ancient thing with dials and no remote!) because it sounded like I was getting just the edge of someone else's TV or radio or something, when really all it was was my brain making words out of the sound of an air conditioner. It always kind of weirds me out.
Perhaps with time, you can teach your other two cats to cuddle. Best of luck with that.
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