Shitty Things People Say Part The Millionth

[naamah_darling]

This is just tremendously depressing to me. And this.

I don't understand why people think bullying is just part of life. Everyone experiences being pushed around, but the way we as a culture just accept this kind of thing to the point that children are committing suicide because of it . . . that's sick.

It's sick the way that the victims are

Comments

[stormcaller3801]

Yeah. That's why I didn't put up with it when I saw it happening to my second cousin. His 'best friend' was being a bully, because he'd learned to be- he wasn't as smart as everyone else, but he was bigger and so he made up for it by being mean. Unfortunately for him, I'm even bigger

[leopard_print]

That's exactly the advice my Dad gave me! And it's a big part of what helped me get through it. Sometimes you've just got to fight. They won't let you take any other course of action.

[stormcaller3801]

That's half of what got me through it- the other half was something I wasn't conscious of, and was only informed about later on

[ravan]

I was told "good girls don't fight". If I fought back when they'd grab my books, or hit me, I got in trouble at school then again at home.

[sirriamnis]

I learned to be sneaky about fighting back. I'm the Queen of "Ooops, I slipped."

[stormcaller3801]

'Good girls' are part of a fabrication created by people whose ideas of the world are like those curio boxes you find in houses- everything small and pretty and idealized, fit into its own little space, never overlapping or sticking out, just perfect, pristine, and organized.

It's no different than believing the 50's were an idealized world where homosexuality didn't exist, every marriage was happy, every spouse was faithful, every 'colored person' knew their place, every woman found bliss in the kitchen and every household in the United States was a good Christian one.

Shit happens. Shit has always happened. The only thing that's changed is that it's harder to look around without seeing it happen. Better news, the Internet- people have to try harder to be ignorant, and less people are willing to do so. Which isn't to say anyone's without their own self-inflicted illusions, but it is a trend I encourage to continue. Ignoring it never makes it go away. It just makes people suffer in silence.

[notorious_oit]

Once in 7th grade, I was walking down the hall with my friend and these two guys, Brandon and Dale, came up behind us and yelled "SAVE THE WHALES!" (My friend and I were the fat girls that EVERYONE picked on.) I knew Dale's parents because they were friends with mine, but I didn't even stop to think about it or realize exactly how close he was, I just turned and swung, and somehow managed to just lay Dale the fuck out...gave the little bitch a black eye. Brandon and my friend just stood there in shock. I told Dale if he ever talked to me or my friend that way again, I'd tell his parents. It was bad enough that he went home and his dad totally laughed at him for getting beat up by a girl.

Dale dropped out of school in 9th grade, and Brandon and I actually became friends due to the fact that I knew who Metallica was and liked their music. I WIN!

[sirriamnis]

My husband fought back, constantly, all the time. He has two knuckles that really aren't anymore because of it. And it never fucking stopped.

When five basketball players jumped him outside of play rehearsal, and he put two of them in the hospital before the rest bore him down, the coach searched him out to inform him that if he "had a problem with my players, you come see me." To which my husband replied, "Maybe you should teach them not to jump people five to one."

It never stopped. There was no "earning of respect," even when he kicked their asses repeatedly. Just more and more calls of "faggot" and "pussy."

And, he was usually the one who got suspended. Eventually, his folks put him in the Alternative School, which at the time was essentially a GED program. At least that way the assholes from the regular high school had to work at it to find him.

[stormcaller3801]

Which is wrong, and which shouldn't happen. But that's also when it's not a fight a child should have to wage. It's a fight parents, uncles and aunts, grandparents, cousins, and friends of the family should wage. Not just for the kid, but because it's wrong and it should not happen. And if it takes five people staring down the principal to get the point across that it's not fair, then so be it.

Fairness is something we instinctively understand. It's part of our DNA. It's something that's understood by other animals. There's always those individuals who are willing to stand up and say, "What you're doing is not fair, and I intend to do something about it." We need to be those individuals. Even if we're scared too.

[cutelildrow]

My father said the same thing, only with a slightly different angle: never start a physical fight. Walk away from words; they're just words. They lay a hand on you or anyone else, break them, make sure they can't hurt you worse or at least . Kill them, if you have to. It'll be self defense. You lose the moment you start a physical fight, and you won't be able to defend your position within the law. Your life, at that point, is worth MORE than theirs. Don't think it's worth just the same as yours, because they obviously think you're not worth anything.

If it's just words, then ignore. If it's physical... carte blanche and they'll stand behind me all the way, no matter what happens.