Kitty Talk
A while back, during the worst of my insomnia, I set up a small mattress on the floor of the computer room so that I could sleep and rise without disturbing Sargon, and without him disturbing me. I've taken to starting my night's sleep there and then switching beds halfway through when Sargon leaves for work.
For years now we have not allowed the cats in with us while we sleep. The bedroom is contested territory, so they fight with one another, make noise, knock things over, and in general make pests out of themselves. Now that I sleep outside the bedroom, Fish and Tazendra have taken to sleeping with me, and remarkably enough it's perfectly peaceable.
Fish is almost always in her favorite spot when I lie down, warming the foot of the bed for me. I get settled with the lights out, my earplugs in, and my sleep mask on. I tuck my stuffed bunny in, pull my second pillow in tight against my chest, and bury my face in the crook of my arm. I won't move for at least four hours.
When I started having trouble getting to sleep again a couple of months back, Tazendra acquired a new habit, something she hadn't done before. Now, at some point as I am drifting off, she pads delicately up onto the mattress and onto the secondary pillow. She turns around once, pushing her feet against the blankets, then lays down with her body against mine, in the space between flexed leg and arm. Her weight pulls the blankets tight against my body, and the pressure is like being gently squeezed. She begins to purr. I can't hear her because my earplugs are in, but even through three blankets I can feel it as it resonates through her ribs and against mine. It puts me to sleep almost instantly.
Usually, when I wake up halfway through the night, I find her spot long cold. She only stays long enough to put me down for the night, and then she abandons me for the computer chair or the laundry.
I didn't think I could possibly love her any more than I already did, but there you go.
She's going to the vet tomorrow. She's lost some weight recently, and has gone from being a little plump to being a little slim. Not unhealthy, just slender. It could be because Fish is eating the other cats' food before they can get to it. It could just be that she's getting old; twelve isn't ancient, but it's not young.
I worry because I love her most. I know I'm supposed to love them all equally, but these aren't human children who can be scarred by my blatant favoritism. I can love Tazendra more than the others, even though she is an unpleasant cat most of the time, and quite obviously detests anyone but me.
I'm pinned down by a hairy lapful of cat right now. Tazendra is purring and warm, and all over me. It's a good place to be, even if I do need to evict her so I can go take a nap, where she will promptly join me.
Silly little goblin.