The Horrors of Porn

[naamah_darling]

You are all doubtless aware by now that as part of my job, I get to review lots of adult sites. Which means watching lots and lots of adult clips

Comments

[pinstripe_bindi]

Yeah, I would totally be okay with listening to Jeremy Irons talk filthily in that plummy British accent of his.

I know a lot of women who like gay porn, because the men are better looking. You'd never get a fugly, fat-assed, shag-carpetted-back ugmo like Ron Jeremy in gay porn, I don't care how big his dick is.

[staticengine]

Out of shape men are in straight porn because the "Average Guy" can relate to that. "Crap, if Ron Jeremy can bang hot chicks, I can too!" In general, men are too insecure to see guys hotter than them banging hot women, because it makes them think they'll never get a woman that attractive themselves, and since porn is essentially a product, the manufacturers want to make the consumers of that product feel as comfortable as possible. Thus, unattractive dudes in straight porn.

[naamah_darling]

Which is funny, because none of the guys I know feel that way at all.

Lowest common denominator, I suppose.

Morons.

If the guys were not gross, chicks might buy more porn.

I know I would.

I also hate watching most straight porn because the chicks are so incredibly gross, and obviously not really interested in what's going on. More women might buy porn if that weren't the case.

I don't think their formula for success necesarily works. I think it's all people can get, so that is what they take. Not quite the same thing.

[diekonigin]

And in gay men's porn, they're all fucking champions. You don't see some disinterested bitch laying there with her legs in the air taking it in the tuckus. They're ALL banging like Barbaro goin for the win at the Kentucky Derby (well, pre-broken leg Barbaro....) and they put in 110%, literally. I love men's porn, although Raging Stallion Studios is not on my top 10 list. I'm more of a Titan, Colt or Lucas Entertainment kinda girl :-)

[naamah_darling]

Word. Colt. Colt has done some fun stuff.

RSS isn't my top pick, but they're who provides the content I get to so lovingly pick apart.

Oh, the pain, the pain.

And I KNOW. They will just bang away, going for fucking broke, and EVERYONE is moaning, yelling, screaming. They look like they're having the BEST TIME EVER.

The last time I saw someone having that much fun in porn, it was a dog.

[diekonigin]

Tough life you lead, my dear LOL This is a trailer from the record setting AVN nominated movie La Dolce Vita -- 14 WINS!

http://www.lucasentertainment.com/videoclips/LDV_Trailer_Full.wmv

I covet Spencer Quest and am heartbroken that he's retiring from porn.

Lucas is a funny fucker too. He blogs @ http://www.lucasblog.com. The boy says some seriously looney shit.

[naamah_darling]

Now THAT looks like a really good movie. Hot damn! YOW.

[diekonigin]

I'm still kinda afraid of it because it's got a story line. I'm afraid I'd be tempted to yell at the screen, "Alright pretty boy, enough of the chitter chatter -- shut up and FUCK!"

[staticengine]

A friend was telling me that Ron Jeremy drove up porno sales because he was unattractive, and he's more of an afficinado than myself, so I'll take his word for it.

Personally, while I have a bit of a porn addiction (or maybe an orgasm addiction, I don't know), I have real trouble with a lot of porn because the people onscreen are so clearly not into it. I have the same problem with strip clubs. Yeah, okay, I'm surrounded by reasonably attractive women, and while I'll usually toss a few bucks around if I'm out with the guys, I'm so totally not aroused at any point because I know the women are doing it for the money. This usually leads to a "what's wrong, aren't I pretty?" conversation, to which I always reply that business transactions don't turn me on.

Oh well, I'm a tough customer, I guess.

[naamah_darling]

I'm with you. I can only enjoy strippers if they can really dance. How many of them CAN actually dance? Maybe one in ten?

Ron Jeremy, though, is so fucking FUNNY that I love seeing him in anything. It stops when/if he gets naked, though. But Orgasmo is one of my favorite movies, and he's one of the most enjoyable stupid things about it. I don't know. I just find the guy inherently amusing.

[lilituc]

If the guys were not gross, chicks might buy more porn.

Yes!

I also hate watching most straight porn because the chicks are so incredibly gross, and obviously not really interested in what's going on. More women might buy porn if that weren't the case.

Double yes!

[naamah_darling]

Seriously. The only chick porn vids I always enjoy are the squirting videos, because, well, it's obvious that the woman is really having an orgasm.

(Well, that, or she's peeing at the camera, but I've only seen a few that I considered really suspect.)

[liminalia]

Rent anything with Belladonna in it. She's got an all-natural body, she's hot without being a Barbie, and she *always* looks like she's enjoying her work. Plus, she's um, rather prodigiously talented.

It's not the most perfect porn, and it has some scenes I skip thru, but my favorite is Fashionistas.

[tudorlady]

If the guys were not gross, chicks might buy more porn.

Wordy McWord in WordPants. Ditto if the women looked like anything but cheap hookers.

[camel_pimp]

Or maybe guys are uncomfortable if they see good looking men in porno because they're afraid they would be attracted to them. With Ron Jeremy, there is no such danger (maybe?).

Of course, if the guy was that uncomfortable about seeing another dude in the nude, I would think he'd just watch lesbian porn.