The Horrors of Porn

[naamah_darling]

You are all doubtless aware by now that as part of my job, I get to review lots of adult sites. Which means watching lots and lots of adult clips

Comments

[bat_cheva]

ROTF LMAO!!!!!

Gods...

ROTFL!!!!

[liminalia]

It could be worse. It could be Christopher Walken and Gary Busey, and I don't care *who's* the Top or bottom in that One True Wrongness.

'Scuse me while I go hunt for the brain-bleach.

[flewellyn]

Oh God, or how about Steve Buscemi and Jack Nicholson?

Bruce Willis and Tom Arnold?

Anthony Hopkins and Sean Connery? Wait, that one would be pretty cool...if for no other reason than, well, you KNOW only one of them is coming out alive...

[naamah_darling]

*dies laughing*

My money's on Sean Connery. I love Hannibal Van Helsing, but dude, 007 will kick your ass.

[liminalia]

And his hair will still be perfect afterwards.

[pinstripe_bindi]

Yeah, I would totally be okay with listening to Jeremy Irons talk filthily in that plummy British accent of his.

I know a lot of women who like gay porn, because the men are better looking. You'd never get a fugly, fat-assed, shag-carpetted-back ugmo like Ron Jeremy in gay porn, I don't care how big his dick is.

[staticengine]

Out of shape men are in straight porn because the "Average Guy" can relate to that. "Crap, if Ron Jeremy can bang hot chicks, I can too!" In general, men are too insecure to see guys hotter than them banging hot women, because it makes them think they'll never get a woman that attractive themselves, and since porn is essentially a product, the manufacturers want to make the consumers of that product feel as comfortable as possible. Thus, unattractive dudes in straight porn.

[naamah_darling]

Which is funny, because none of the guys I know feel that way at all.

Lowest common denominator, I suppose.

Morons.

If the guys were not gross, chicks might buy more porn.

I know I would.

I also hate watching most straight porn because the chicks are so incredibly gross, and obviously not really interested in what's going on. More women might buy porn if that weren't the case.

I don't think their formula for success necesarily works. I think it's all people can get, so that is what they take. Not quite the same thing.

[diekonigin]

And in gay men's porn, they're all fucking champions. You don't see some disinterested bitch laying there with her legs in the air taking it in the tuckus. They're ALL banging like Barbaro goin for the win at the Kentucky Derby (well, pre-broken leg Barbaro....) and they put in 110%, literally. I love men's porn, although Raging Stallion Studios is not on my top 10 list. I'm more of a Titan, Colt or Lucas Entertainment kinda girl :-)

[naamah_darling]

The guy who looks like Jeremy is, like, a bad third-gen clone or something, 'cause he's not hot. Now, the REAL Jeremy, maybe we could talk! *lol*

[flewellyn]

Holy flaming deep-throating chocolate Jesus, that's wrong!

[tingil]

Haha! That made me laugh even harder :D

[flewellyn]

It's not quite as good as "dear sweet assfucking Jesus on a pogo stick", but it mentions Chocolate Jesus.

*sing* I don't care if it rains or freezes,
long as I got my chocolate Jesus,
ridin' on the dashboard of my car...

[ms_daisy_cutter]

Did somebody say... chocolate Jesus?