Lakeside Trail Treasures
November 15th was the beginning of a few very sad days for me.
My youngest brother died of b-cell lymphoma at the age of 53 after a nine month battle.
I have to admit I was overcome by my grief. This brother had estranged himself from my older brother, sister and I a year ago. (he's done it many times in his adult life so it wasn't new)
When I learned of his health issues from an uncle, I phoned him and chatted away, offering my support and what can I do for you? He said, never call me again.. Same results for my sister.
We sent him flowers in the hospital. He didn't answer his phone.
The week before he died I learned he was in the hospital via a very rude facebook post by his son. Really flaming my brother sister and I.
My bro had talked to this nephew the day before and was told he didn't want anyone besides his Mom and stepmom at the hospital. Okay, we can respect that. Three days before my brother died, my sister saw his wife and asked if we could visit. She said she would get back to us. Of course she didn't.
The ex wife emailed me the day before my brother died and was really awful. I had to reply laying out the chain of events from our side of things. Of course I have never heard back from her.
We found out about the death of my brother through yet another Facebook posting by his son. No one called any of us.
We had been told my brother would be cremated, no funeral, no nothing. We sent flowers to his wife and son.
So my grief hit me hard because well, we got more of what we had lived with for our adult lives from this fellow and his family.
It took a long walk on the beach and throwing stones into the lake to reach some inner peace. A friend had called me and wished me peace with my saddness, which got me to thinking about peace. My brother never had it I don't believe. He lived a life of drugs for many years.. he was an angry child. He plotted and planned on how he could do mean things to people. Why was he like that? I know my parents were in a constant state of turmoil with him.. even as they each laid dying.
So it struck me that he was angry, rude, hostile and perhaps because he did not have inner peace, he made it his mission in life to cause havoc with those around him. He seemed to connect himself with two women that aided and abetted his behaviour. Well his first wife left him for another man 4 years ago and he married the second woman two years ago and she helped him harass the first wife. All very odd and foreign behaviour to me.
So anyway, it does make me sad to think I do not have one good or happy memory of my brother nor do my older brother or sister. We have tried and tried to think of times he did nice things.
The day he died my sister and her three children were at my house. My 8 year old niece asked me if her Uncle was going to go to Heaven and be mean to everyone there. .. out of the mouth of babes. She didn't think he should go to Heaven if he was just going to be mean.. she doesn't know about Hell.
I thought for a minute and told her that when people get to Heaven, they are good and kind and loving. She thought God had his work cut out with this uncle...
My youngest brother died of b-cell lymphoma at the age of 53 after a nine month battle.
I have to admit I was overcome by my grief. This brother had estranged himself from my older brother, sister and I a year ago. (he's done it many times in his adult life so it wasn't new)
When I learned of his health issues from an uncle, I phoned him and chatted away, offering my support and what can I do for you? He said, never call me again.. Same results for my sister.
We sent him flowers in the hospital. He didn't answer his phone.
The week before he died I learned he was in the hospital via a very rude facebook post by his son. Really flaming my brother sister and I.
My bro had talked to this nephew the day before and was told he didn't want anyone besides his Mom and stepmom at the hospital. Okay, we can respect that. Three days before my brother died, my sister saw his wife and asked if we could visit. She said she would get back to us. Of course she didn't.
The ex wife emailed me the day before my brother died and was really awful. I had to reply laying out the chain of events from our side of things. Of course I have never heard back from her.
We found out about the death of my brother through yet another Facebook posting by his son. No one called any of us.
We had been told my brother would be cremated, no funeral, no nothing. We sent flowers to his wife and son.
So my grief hit me hard because well, we got more of what we had lived with for our adult lives from this fellow and his family.
It took a long walk on the beach and throwing stones into the lake to reach some inner peace. A friend had called me and wished me peace with my saddness, which got me to thinking about peace. My brother never had it I don't believe. He lived a life of drugs for many years.. he was an angry child. He plotted and planned on how he could do mean things to people. Why was he like that? I know my parents were in a constant state of turmoil with him.. even as they each laid dying.
So it struck me that he was angry, rude, hostile and perhaps because he did not have inner peace, he made it his mission in life to cause havoc with those around him. He seemed to connect himself with two women that aided and abetted his behaviour. Well his first wife left him for another man 4 years ago and he married the second woman two years ago and she helped him harass the first wife. All very odd and foreign behaviour to me.
So anyway, it does make me sad to think I do not have one good or happy memory of my brother nor do my older brother or sister. We have tried and tried to think of times he did nice things.
The day he died my sister and her three children were at my house. My 8 year old niece asked me if her Uncle was going to go to Heaven and be mean to everyone there. .. out of the mouth of babes. She didn't think he should go to Heaven if he was just going to be mean.. she doesn't know about Hell.
I thought for a minute and told her that when people get to Heaven, they are good and kind and loving. She thought God had his work cut out with this uncle...