the bar scene
i've decided i don't go out often enough because if i did i might be prepared for the crazy guy i met at the bar last night. the night started of innocuously enough. i met some girlfriends at one of my favorite watering holes (and holy shit, i have friends that are GIRLS. who would have seen that one coming?) and i wander over to say hello to them. as soon as i get there, this guy just comes up to me and says he loves my hair. having odd colored hair, this is a fairly common occurrence, and since he was hanging out in the area where all my peeps were congregating, i figured he belonged to one of them. so i'm chatting with him and i realize this dude is pretty fucked up, so i figure he's just doing that "i'm being overly friendly because i'm really drunk" thing and don't think anything of it. so i finally get to my friend and she asks me if i know that guy because he's been sort of skulking around them and creeping them out. we laugh it off and i wander off to one of the booths where my other friends are hanging out to go do my rounds and say hello to them. creepy guy follows me and just plops down in our booth and proceeds to try and have a conversation with me. he's talking about "real people" and how he can tell i'm "real", whatever the fuck that means and he's getting kind of overly touchy. i'm starting to get a bit annoyed and plotting how to get myself out of the situation without creating a scene when he tells me he's always wanted to have a girlfriend with red hair. i point out mine's pink and that there's a girl on the other end of the bar who's a redhead so maybe he should go talk to her. no dice, he laughs it off and proceeds to turn into an octopus. now i'm really annoyed and pull the "i have a boyfriend" card. he then asks me if i'm a cheater and puts my hand on his crotch. now this is the part where i would ordinarily punch someone in the face, but i really like this bar and really didn't feel like being 86'd that early in the evening, so instead i pull my hand away. he goes to grab it, proceeds to spill a drink, and it ends up all over my skirt. finally, i lose my cool and start yelling expletives loudly when one of my friends comes back from dancing and i do the only thing that seems logical- i grab her hand and tell her i need a smoke and we haul ass outside. i guess he must have pissed some other chick off shortly thereafter because he finally got his ass thrown out of the bar but i've realized i'm definitely out of practice on how to deal with assholes at a bar.