Dear Andrea (Part Four)
I was praying for you tonight, and I believe God has opened my eyes to something. You and I were lost. You were fresh out of a 13 year marriage trying to salvage a home and raise a son. I was spinning from my lack of understanding who I am, and trying to manage severe anxiety and depression.
I want you to know that I'm of clear mind right now. I'm of sound soul, and I don't believe I have anything to forgive you for. I know you did some things wrong, but so did I. We were both confused and both lost.
You used me. I used you. I don't think either of us was capable of being anything other than terrible to the other. We had both lost our way from our faith. We had both been wandering in the woods with broken hearts. We were both looking for someone to soak our sorrows in, and we both found what we thought we were looking for.
We both reaped the benefits of doing what we thought best, and we both paid the price for deviating from doing what was right.
I don't believe any wrong was done other than we both avoided seeking help. We both turned from what we believe, and we both ran straight into the wall that is living contrary to who we are. Unfortunately, I've been here before. I hope I never find myself here again.
I'm in therapy and church. You know this, and I'm sure you hope the best for me. I've made up my mind not to talk to you again unless for some reason God puts you in my path again. It hurts me to make that decision, but I know that I must go my own way. I know that if you're meant to be in my life you will be here again some day in whatever capacity God so chooses for you.
Beyond that, I can no longer hold onto our past. I can no longer dwell on what might have been, what could have been, or even what was. God has helped me find freedom from that, so I take my leave of all of this.
I pray for happiness and security for you and your son. I pray for well being for your family, and I pray that in time I will completely be free of any animosity of any kind towards your family for perceived slights.
I also pray that God forgives us both for what we did to each other, and that neither of us finds ourselves in these shoes again.
I believe this is the last time I will write to you, so to speak. I think I am finally over being angry. I think I may finally be free. I think fondly of you when you cross my mind. I hope some day you can say the same of me. I hope for only smiles and real joy for you. I hope.
Good night.
Yours,
Bobby C. Scarbrough
I want you to know that I'm of clear mind right now. I'm of sound soul, and I don't believe I have anything to forgive you for. I know you did some things wrong, but so did I. We were both confused and both lost.
You used me. I used you. I don't think either of us was capable of being anything other than terrible to the other. We had both lost our way from our faith. We had both been wandering in the woods with broken hearts. We were both looking for someone to soak our sorrows in, and we both found what we thought we were looking for.
We both reaped the benefits of doing what we thought best, and we both paid the price for deviating from doing what was right.
I don't believe any wrong was done other than we both avoided seeking help. We both turned from what we believe, and we both ran straight into the wall that is living contrary to who we are. Unfortunately, I've been here before. I hope I never find myself here again.
I'm in therapy and church. You know this, and I'm sure you hope the best for me. I've made up my mind not to talk to you again unless for some reason God puts you in my path again. It hurts me to make that decision, but I know that I must go my own way. I know that if you're meant to be in my life you will be here again some day in whatever capacity God so chooses for you.
Beyond that, I can no longer hold onto our past. I can no longer dwell on what might have been, what could have been, or even what was. God has helped me find freedom from that, so I take my leave of all of this.
I pray for happiness and security for you and your son. I pray for well being for your family, and I pray that in time I will completely be free of any animosity of any kind towards your family for perceived slights.
I also pray that God forgives us both for what we did to each other, and that neither of us finds ourselves in these shoes again.
I believe this is the last time I will write to you, so to speak. I think I am finally over being angry. I think I may finally be free. I think fondly of you when you cross my mind. I hope some day you can say the same of me. I hope for only smiles and real joy for you. I hope.
Good night.
Yours,
Bobby C. Scarbrough