A whirlwind of confusion.
I have been so confused on whether or not I wanted to go to Jamaica this J-Term now for MONTHS. Part of me wants to enjoy the new experience and see a new place but the other half of me doesn't want to A) spend so much money on the trip or B) spend so much time preparing for the trip in addition to having to deal with school work and the stresses of day-to-day life. The spending money part isn't just the 4 grand to get on the plane and spend a month there... It's also buying luggage, clothes, bug spray, random other little things like miniature travel sized versions of all the stuff I already have... I have to get a passport and more shots then write a book report to make into an oral presentation...
It all seems like such a hassle. But if I don't go I feel like I might let some of the girls down or I'll miss out on a once in a lifetime experience...
I'm so into change and seeing new things and I have a desire to travel, but I don't understand why I don't want to do this anymore. Maybe I'm worrying too much or just freaking myself out for no reason... I mean like, I really don't have that much money... Granted I have been spending it like it's my JOB, but I need to get so much and I hate relying on my parents... I'm 20 years old I shouldn't have to ask them to buy me stuff anymore... I feel lame for doing that!
Ugh, I just don't know... I really gotta get going on this though. I need to sit down with my parents and talk it out with them and come up with a final decision