I've never run across most of these, am I reading the wrong stuff?

[mzlizzy]

This list comes from a Tumbler post, and I had to share it!

yoiplait:

terms for penis you should not use in fics:

love stick
doinker
schlong
wankie
ding dong
100% all-beef thermometer
bologna pony
stinky pickle
magic wand
divine rod
love muscle
power drill
captain winky
yogurt slinger
DNA rifle

highcollargirl:

i want someone to write a fic using all of these terms at least once

My personal favorites have to be "power drill" and "DNA rifle", although "stinky pickle" sounds like a term you'd only use when drunk, as in:

"You want to put your stinky pickle where???"