So I forgot to say a few months back.......
So, I have just been sitting and thinking about things recently. I really want a job. Like more than any one could imagine. I have been applying for jobs like crazy these past few days. Something, anything to help me to make money. I want to be able to get a house, and to buy nice things. Right now, I just don’t know what to do. Lately I feel like I can’t do anything right or that maybe I am not trying hard enough. Lately it just seems like my life is in pieces. I am still waiting to hear back from the doctor about my echocardiogram. I am so scared that I am going to have to have heart surgery or something. I am so worried that my entire life is going to change. I hate playing the waiting game, it sucks horribly. Who ever would have thought that an almost 23 year old had a heart attack this early in life. The doctors aren’t exactly sure when it happened all they know is that it happened and now they have to assess the damages and see where we go fro here. I guess I hate having to have Chris worry about me, and whether I am going to have another heart attack or what not. I guess it scares me, that he wants to start taking over the bills and stuff just to be safe. I just don’t know what I am feeling right now. I love him to death.