You need a trumpet...
When everything in your life becomes an afterthought, a shadow of something else is it time to throw in the towel? Shouldn't the things we think and see and do be active, living breathing things, rather than things that resemble something else, something we saw once in a movie or read about in a book or heard someone else talking about in some outlandish most likely made up or embelished upon story? Why can't we ever just see things for the sake of seeing things? Why does something always have to be artistic or beautiful and if its not then everyone must comment on how unattractive it is, or how out of place and common. Why can nothing ever just be. People, all they do is just talk, talk, talk. Why can't we ever just shut up and observe. Look at things, see them for what they really are, how they are. Look at that ugly thing, don't try to make it beautiful, don't try to see it as art, just look at it and accept it, accept that it is ugly and that it IS. Period, the analyzing, the figuring, the "maybe if I look at it from this angle or that one or another" it all just makes me tired. It's been a long night and it was a long day before that and I just feel like I have had a long life and I'm too old for bullshit. I am too old and too young. I am too young to understand and too old to be bothered. How will I feel in 10 years? 20? God, if I feel old and tired now, how will I feel in 30 years? DEAD.