Wanting too much
When I really want something, I get this horrible tight feeling in my chest. I hate it. I get that way when I enter a Sanrio store... or when I meet a super fine guy. For the most part, I just avoid shopping, since most shopping establishments make me feel sick, and ever since I met Frank, no guys really elicits such a feeling from me.
Today I saw an apartment and I knew the second I entered it that I wanted it. My chest felt tight and I freaked out. Now it's all I can think about. I know I will probably be disappointed and not get it... but it was just so grand. Oh cruel world, why not let the Kitty have her way just once? (okay, twice, since I suppose getting Frank counts as once.)
Other news?
The rest of the world sucks. I went away to Japan for several years only to come back and find my parents old and dying. My mother is bedridden and in terrible pain. Calling her involves listening to her cry from the pain. I cannot deal with such things. I don't want to be the bad daughter, but... Throw in my sister crying to me as well, and suspicions that one or both of them have entered the realms of Alzheimer's. (Both my mom's parents died with Alzheimer's so it has been a constant fear in our family for the last 15 years) I am at a total loss. I have offered to return home and help out around the house but I was told that I just make things work. Gee thanks. What's a girl to do? Mother's Day is next weekend. I can either a) go home to see my mom b) bug friends to go out with me c) have brunch with my bf's family while my bf is in the woods pretending he's an orc. or d) stay home alone and drink myself silly.
hm...
Today I saw an apartment and I knew the second I entered it that I wanted it. My chest felt tight and I freaked out. Now it's all I can think about. I know I will probably be disappointed and not get it... but it was just so grand. Oh cruel world, why not let the Kitty have her way just once? (okay, twice, since I suppose getting Frank counts as once.)
Other news?
The rest of the world sucks. I went away to Japan for several years only to come back and find my parents old and dying. My mother is bedridden and in terrible pain. Calling her involves listening to her cry from the pain. I cannot deal with such things. I don't want to be the bad daughter, but... Throw in my sister crying to me as well, and suspicions that one or both of them have entered the realms of Alzheimer's. (Both my mom's parents died with Alzheimer's so it has been a constant fear in our family for the last 15 years) I am at a total loss. I have offered to return home and help out around the house but I was told that I just make things work. Gee thanks. What's a girl to do? Mother's Day is next weekend. I can either a) go home to see my mom b) bug friends to go out with me c) have brunch with my bf's family while my bf is in the woods pretending he's an orc. or d) stay home alone and drink myself silly.
hm...