(no subject)
In 21 days I will turn 28, it's hard to believe that. I feel like nothing I wanted to happen by now has. I thought I would be married, and be having a child by now. That I would have gone back to school. But, that is no where near where I am. I lost my baby, and im at a job, where I am under appreciated for all I do, I get taken for granted, and I feel like if it weren't for my family and Lucas, I truly would be nowhere, and have nothing.
At the same time I know that sometimes I am being taken advantage of, by those I love. They know i would do anything for them, and always will. But i can't help but feel like I'm only tolerated, that people only want to see me, because they know that i will help them, but not ask for anything in return, they spend time with me only because i will do things to help, or just because they asked. No one (except Lucas and my mom)ever just wants to see me, to spend time with me, it's always for some other reason, and I happen to be the closest person to said reason. No one just comes to see me, I have to go to them if I want to see them, or if they ask me to. It takes just as long for me to get there, as it would for them to get here. But whatever, I am coming to terms with that, I guess that is just how my life is going to be. I'm sorry for the rant there, I'm just frustrated, and emotional. Anyway i hope if you took the time to rrad this that you are having a good day, week, amd month. Happy October!