A Swell Party - 4/13 - PG
Title: A Swell Party 4/13
Fandom: Doctor Who/Jeeves and Wooster crossover
Rating: PG
Summary: Following a signal, the trio find themselves in the quaint time of Jeeves and Wooster. Unfortunately, getting their hands on what they're after isn't as easy as they might expect. Eventual 9/Rose/Jack
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
-----
"What's up with you?" Rose demanded, as she stomped into the TARDIS. The Doctor looked up from where he was bent over the console, peering at the screen.
"What?" he asked. He glanced at Jack who was bringing up the rear. The American shrugged and held his hands up - he didn't want to be included in this bitchfight.
"You! You were so rude to Bertie!" she cried, hopping up onto the walkway and poking him viciously in the shoulder. "And he helped us an' all!"
"He's a moron," the Doctor said, rubbing his shoulder and shooting Rose a look of wounded dignity. "How that valet of his resists the urge to throttle him I don't know. And you, nancing off with your pretty boy-"
"He wasn't pretty!"
"Standards dropped now, have they?" The Doctor started inputting co-ordinates, and pulled the level to power up the engine. "Not that they were terribly high to begin with."
"What's that say about you and Jack, then?" Rose asked lightly, glaring at him.
"You were bound to make some good choices," he said blithely. "Statistically you couldn't have kept making bad ones."
"You," Rose said, flushing with indignation. "Are unbelievable. And not in the good way. Some day someone's going to give you another good slap, and this time I'm just going to point and laugh."
"You were hardly rushing to my aid after the last one, were you?" the Doctor pointed out. "You said I was 'gay'."
The TARDIS shuddered to a halt, and the Doctor grinned.
"Here we are. Brinkley Court, Market Snodsbury, Wiltshire." He looked round at Rose and Jack, the former of whom couldn't help the smile rising to her lips despite the barely-restrained urge to kick the man in front of her. "Just in time for tea."
-----
Bertie and Tuppy sat side by side, watching as Bingo paced up and down the room nervously, every so often running over to the window like a gazelle with co-ordination issues to peer out, before heaving a heart-worn sigh and starting to pace again.
"Fallen in love again, has he?" Tuppy asked after a space.
"Mm-hm," Bertie said. "Girl he met in London - she was with those two chaps I told you about."
"The ones who want that ghastly ornament? They'll be lucky. I gave it to Angela."
"You can tell them that," Bertie told him. "I'm making myself scarce before Aunt Agatha and Honoria get here."
"Oh Honoria's not coming, is she?" Tuppy shot Bertie a look of dismay. "Why?"
"Aunt Agatha thinks she's the best thing bally thing since sliced bread." Bertie stood and stretched, pulling his cigarette case from his pocket and extricating one deftly. "And I've been engaged to her that many times she's practically part of the family."
Before Tuppy could respond to that, Bingo tripped over to the window again, then let out a jubilant cry.
“She’s here!” he screeched, and skittered out of the room, followed at a somewhat more sedate pace by Bertie and Tuppy.
“What-ho!” Bertie called cheerfully, as he spotted the three arrivals coming through the door and being accosted by Bingo. The girl, at least, looked quite pleased to see him, although the older chap looked like he dearly wished to clout him. “Have a good journey?”
“Not bad,” the American chap said.
“It’s marvellous to see you again,” Bingo told Rose earnestly, grabbing her hand, much to the apparent disgust of her friend.
“Hi!” Tuppy cried suddenly, staring at the American. “I know you!”
“This is Tuppy,” Bertie added.
Jack raised his eyebrows and smiled at Tuppy.
“Hello,” he said.
“I know you,” Tuppy repeated as he came closer to the trio. The Doctor and Rose peered curiously at Jack, who didn’t appear phased in the slightest. “I met you when I was at Ditteredge, last August. You nearly got engaged to Honoria!”
“Well, you can’t hold that against a chap,” Bertie said cheerfully. “It’s happened to enough of us.”
“You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t remember right away, old man,” Jack told Tuppy with a friendly grin, clapping him on the shoulder. “It’s been a hectic few months for me.”
“Wouldn’t blame you if you’d blocked the whole affair from your memory,” Tuppy said, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. “I would’ve done if I were you.”
“You the bloke who bought the other half of that ornament?” the Doctor interrupted, eying Tuppy.
“That’s me,” Tuppy said. “But I can’t give it to you, I’m afraid. I’ve already given it to Angela.”
“Well take it back,” the Doctor said, as though it was obvious.
“I can’t. It was an early birthday present.”
“Oh fantastic,” the Doctor muttered, and Rose elbowed him in the ribs.
“Jack?” came a rather forceful voice from behind them. All the men instinctively froze. “Jack, is that you?”
As one the group turned to see a two tall, hefty women approaching through the front door. The younger of which was staring intently at Jack. When she saw his face, a broad smile broke out across hers.
“Jack! Oh how wonderful!”
“Hallo Honoria,” Bertie said.
-----
A little while later, Rose and the Doctor sat next to each other and watched with some morbid fascination as Jack flirted easily with the tank of a woman who had attached herself to his side.
“He was nearly…engaged?” Rose asked, not quite believing it. “To…her?”
“His taste’s clearly not up to much either,” the Doctor commented, although this time he sounded more amused than snarky.
“Do you remember that day we spent on the lake?” Honoria’s voice carried like a drill sergeant’s. Across the room it made the Doctor suppress a wince - how Jack could manage with it right in his ear he didn’t know.
“How could I forget?” Jack replied, smiling at Honoria, then shooting the Doctor a swift look that stated he most certainly had forgotten, though through no fault of his own.
“You said I reminded you of an Amazon Queen…” Honoria sighed.
Rose gaped in horror and not a little disgust.
“He said that?”
“He’s not far off,” the Doctor muttered thoughtfully. “They were hefty girls, those Amazons.”
Rose elbowed him in the ribs again.
On the other side of the room, Bingo watched them morosely.
“I say,” Bertie said, coming up next to him. “Buck up old man, go talk to her.”
“I can’t,” Bingo sighed. “He won’t let me near her. Every time I try he sends me a glare that makes me want to crawl under a rock.”
“Aunt Agatha seems to like him,” Bertie commented, glancing over at the more formidable of his two aunts, who was watching the Doctor consideringly. “Perhaps she admires his technique.”
“His technique?”
“Soul-crushing glares,” Bertie clarified. Bingo let out a hollow laugh and Bertie clapped him on the shoulder. “I’ll tell you what, after dinner I’ll distract him and you can escape with Rose into the gardens. By the time he’s worked out you’re gone, you should be quite cozy.”
Bingo brightened up and smiled at him.
“Bertie, you’re a marvel,” he said.
“I am, aren’t I?” Bertie smiled, looking thoroughly chuffed with himself.
-----
Fandom: Doctor Who/Jeeves and Wooster crossover
Rating: PG
Summary: Following a signal, the trio find themselves in the quaint time of Jeeves and Wooster. Unfortunately, getting their hands on what they're after isn't as easy as they might expect. Eventual 9/Rose/Jack
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
-----
"What's up with you?" Rose demanded, as she stomped into the TARDIS. The Doctor looked up from where he was bent over the console, peering at the screen.
"What?" he asked. He glanced at Jack who was bringing up the rear. The American shrugged and held his hands up - he didn't want to be included in this bitchfight.
"You! You were so rude to Bertie!" she cried, hopping up onto the walkway and poking him viciously in the shoulder. "And he helped us an' all!"
"He's a moron," the Doctor said, rubbing his shoulder and shooting Rose a look of wounded dignity. "How that valet of his resists the urge to throttle him I don't know. And you, nancing off with your pretty boy-"
"He wasn't pretty!"
"Standards dropped now, have they?" The Doctor started inputting co-ordinates, and pulled the level to power up the engine. "Not that they were terribly high to begin with."
"What's that say about you and Jack, then?" Rose asked lightly, glaring at him.
"You were bound to make some good choices," he said blithely. "Statistically you couldn't have kept making bad ones."
"You," Rose said, flushing with indignation. "Are unbelievable. And not in the good way. Some day someone's going to give you another good slap, and this time I'm just going to point and laugh."
"You were hardly rushing to my aid after the last one, were you?" the Doctor pointed out. "You said I was 'gay'."
The TARDIS shuddered to a halt, and the Doctor grinned.
"Here we are. Brinkley Court, Market Snodsbury, Wiltshire." He looked round at Rose and Jack, the former of whom couldn't help the smile rising to her lips despite the barely-restrained urge to kick the man in front of her. "Just in time for tea."
-----
Bertie and Tuppy sat side by side, watching as Bingo paced up and down the room nervously, every so often running over to the window like a gazelle with co-ordination issues to peer out, before heaving a heart-worn sigh and starting to pace again.
"Fallen in love again, has he?" Tuppy asked after a space.
"Mm-hm," Bertie said. "Girl he met in London - she was with those two chaps I told you about."
"The ones who want that ghastly ornament? They'll be lucky. I gave it to Angela."
"You can tell them that," Bertie told him. "I'm making myself scarce before Aunt Agatha and Honoria get here."
"Oh Honoria's not coming, is she?" Tuppy shot Bertie a look of dismay. "Why?"
"Aunt Agatha thinks she's the best thing bally thing since sliced bread." Bertie stood and stretched, pulling his cigarette case from his pocket and extricating one deftly. "And I've been engaged to her that many times she's practically part of the family."
Before Tuppy could respond to that, Bingo tripped over to the window again, then let out a jubilant cry.
“She’s here!” he screeched, and skittered out of the room, followed at a somewhat more sedate pace by Bertie and Tuppy.
“What-ho!” Bertie called cheerfully, as he spotted the three arrivals coming through the door and being accosted by Bingo. The girl, at least, looked quite pleased to see him, although the older chap looked like he dearly wished to clout him. “Have a good journey?”
“Not bad,” the American chap said.
“It’s marvellous to see you again,” Bingo told Rose earnestly, grabbing her hand, much to the apparent disgust of her friend.
“Hi!” Tuppy cried suddenly, staring at the American. “I know you!”
“This is Tuppy,” Bertie added.
Jack raised his eyebrows and smiled at Tuppy.
“Hello,” he said.
“I know you,” Tuppy repeated as he came closer to the trio. The Doctor and Rose peered curiously at Jack, who didn’t appear phased in the slightest. “I met you when I was at Ditteredge, last August. You nearly got engaged to Honoria!”
“Well, you can’t hold that against a chap,” Bertie said cheerfully. “It’s happened to enough of us.”
“You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t remember right away, old man,” Jack told Tuppy with a friendly grin, clapping him on the shoulder. “It’s been a hectic few months for me.”
“Wouldn’t blame you if you’d blocked the whole affair from your memory,” Tuppy said, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. “I would’ve done if I were you.”
“You the bloke who bought the other half of that ornament?” the Doctor interrupted, eying Tuppy.
“That’s me,” Tuppy said. “But I can’t give it to you, I’m afraid. I’ve already given it to Angela.”
“Well take it back,” the Doctor said, as though it was obvious.
“I can’t. It was an early birthday present.”
“Oh fantastic,” the Doctor muttered, and Rose elbowed him in the ribs.
“Jack?” came a rather forceful voice from behind them. All the men instinctively froze. “Jack, is that you?”
As one the group turned to see a two tall, hefty women approaching through the front door. The younger of which was staring intently at Jack. When she saw his face, a broad smile broke out across hers.
“Jack! Oh how wonderful!”
“Hallo Honoria,” Bertie said.
-----
A little while later, Rose and the Doctor sat next to each other and watched with some morbid fascination as Jack flirted easily with the tank of a woman who had attached herself to his side.
“He was nearly…engaged?” Rose asked, not quite believing it. “To…her?”
“His taste’s clearly not up to much either,” the Doctor commented, although this time he sounded more amused than snarky.
“Do you remember that day we spent on the lake?” Honoria’s voice carried like a drill sergeant’s. Across the room it made the Doctor suppress a wince - how Jack could manage with it right in his ear he didn’t know.
“How could I forget?” Jack replied, smiling at Honoria, then shooting the Doctor a swift look that stated he most certainly had forgotten, though through no fault of his own.
“You said I reminded you of an Amazon Queen…” Honoria sighed.
Rose gaped in horror and not a little disgust.
“He said that?”
“He’s not far off,” the Doctor muttered thoughtfully. “They were hefty girls, those Amazons.”
Rose elbowed him in the ribs again.
On the other side of the room, Bingo watched them morosely.
“I say,” Bertie said, coming up next to him. “Buck up old man, go talk to her.”
“I can’t,” Bingo sighed. “He won’t let me near her. Every time I try he sends me a glare that makes me want to crawl under a rock.”
“Aunt Agatha seems to like him,” Bertie commented, glancing over at the more formidable of his two aunts, who was watching the Doctor consideringly. “Perhaps she admires his technique.”
“His technique?”
“Soul-crushing glares,” Bertie clarified. Bingo let out a hollow laugh and Bertie clapped him on the shoulder. “I’ll tell you what, after dinner I’ll distract him and you can escape with Rose into the gardens. By the time he’s worked out you’re gone, you should be quite cozy.”
Bingo brightened up and smiled at him.
“Bertie, you’re a marvel,” he said.
“I am, aren’t I?” Bertie smiled, looking thoroughly chuffed with himself.
-----