A Swell Party - 3/? - PG
Title: A Swell Party 3/?
Fandom: Doctor Who/Jeeves and Wooster crossover
Rating: PG
Summary: Following a signal, the trio find themselves in the quaint time of Jeeves and Wooster. Unfortunately, getting their hands on what they're after isn't as easy as they might expect. Eventual 9/Rose/Jack
Part 1
Part 2
“If she’s picked up another pretty boy…” the Doctor muttered irritably, as Jack tried to get hold of her on her mobile and failed again.
“Another pretty boy?” Jack asked with a raised eyebrow, while Bertie loitered a little way away and smoked a cigarette in the manner of one highly put upon.
“Don’t flatter yourself you’re the first,” the Doctor shot back, with a small grin.
“As long as I get first dibs on any others she drags along,” Jack retorted, then swore down at the phone. “Dammit, why doesn’t she ever answer her cell?”
“I’m sure she’ll turn up eventually,” Bertie told them cheerfully. “The worst that could happen is that she’ll end up engaged to old Bingo. Wouldn’t be the first time.”
The Doctor stared at him, while Jack slid his phone back into his jacket pocket.
“Oh don’t worry!” Bertie assured them hurriedly, taking in their expressions. “There hasn’t been a woman yet who’s held his attention long enough for him to actually marry her.”
“That,” the Doctor said sternly. “Is hardly reassuring.”
“Well I don’t know about you chaps,” the other man continued unabashed, flicking the butt of his cigarette away. “But I’m jolly hungry. Traipsing around London on an empty stomach after a renegade member of the fairer sex isn’t the most pleasant of past times. How about we head back to mine? No doubt she’ll find her way back there sooner or later. And I can give Aunt Dahlia a call while we’re there.”
“That’s the first clever thing you’ve said all day,” the Doctor told him, and headed off back the way they’d come.
-----
Rose was waiting for them when they got back to the flat, seated comfortably in an armchair surrounded by boxes and bags, cradling a cup of tea and looking thoroughly pleased with herself.
“Hey!” she greeted as they entered. “I was wondering what’d happened to you.”
“We’ve been traipsing around London trying to find you,” the Doctor huffed pointedly.
“What’d you do that for?” Rose asked. “Did you get the thingummy?”
“No,” Jack said, with an irritated sigh.
“As you’d know if you hadn’t swanned off,” the Doctor added.
“Hang on.” Rose set her cup aside and eyed the Doctor challengingly. “You said I could go.”
“I didn’t say to attach yourself to the nearest pretty bloke who nances past and disappear!”
“So you’d rather I’d go alone and get kidnapped?” Rose retorted, standing. Jack moved over to take her chair and picked up her tea, watching the brewing argument with intense amusement.
“You could at least have answered your phone!” the Doctor insisted, knowing full well he was going to lose this round but not ready to give up just yet.
“Because that’d have looked really good, wouldn’t it?” she snapped. “A twenty-first century mobile phone being waved around when they’re still using telegrams.”
“She’s got a point, Doc,” Jack called, unable to resist adding his two cents when he saw the Doctor was floundering.
The Doctor’s nostrils flared, he wasn’t sure whether he was pleased she was finally learning, or annoying that she’d chosen now to start.
“See?” Bertie said brightly, coming up behind him and interrupting his moment of indecision. “Told you she’d turn up here.”
“A gold star for the ape who shows common sense for once in his life!” the Doctor said irritably. “Get on and phone that bloody aunt of yours, will you?”
Bertie watched, baffled, as he turned and stomped into the kitchen.
“I say, what’s wrong with him?”
“He’s jealous,” Jack said with a grin, finishing Rose’s tea and putting the cup down. “Happens all the time, don’t worry about it.”
-----
Rose went and sat on the arm of Jack’s chair as a hearty cry of
“Bertie, you revolting blot on society, what do you want?”
rang out from the telephone receiver.
“How’d you two find out about Bingo?” she asked Jack quietly, while Bertie wrestled verbally with whoever was on the other end of the phone.
“Our charming host was supposed to be having lunch with him,” Jack told her, taking her hand and grinning up at her. “He sent a note saying an important engagement had come up.”
“Did he?” Rose stared at him.
“Yep. Now Rose, tell me.” He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. “Was he prettier than me?”
Rose laughed.
“No,” she said. “He was a bit lanky…and kept pulling fish faces at me. Why? Feeling a little insecure, Captain?”
“Hardly.” Jack squeezed her hand, then released it. “Doc got it into his head you’d gone off with some pretty-boy. He was consumed with jealousy.”
Rose raised an eyebrow. Of course, she’d seen the Doctor acting jealous before, but she’d assumed that was just because he was annoyed that Jack was a considerably more suave version of himself.
“And what about you?” she asked with a slight grin, poking Jack in the shoulder. “Were you jealous too?”
“Insanely,” Jack replied, catching her finger in a manner which belied the light-hearted way he said it.
Before she could do more than blink at him, however, Bertie set down with telephone with a triumphant,
“Ha!”
The Doctor strolled back in from the kitchen, looking only marginally less sulky, and raised an eyebrow at their host as Jack and Rose turned to see what was happening.
“All sorted?” the Doctor asked.
“Yep!” Bertie clapped his hands together and rubbed them, smiling broadly. “Aunt Dahlia’s expecting you down there on Saturday - the day after I get there.”
“Right.” The Doctor smiled tightly back at him. “Ta very much. We’ll see you there. Rose, Jack, we’re off.”
Jack and Rose obediently stood and trailed after the Doctor, who left the flat without another word. Jack shook Bertie’s hand, smiling warmly, and said he was looking forward to seeing him again. Rose gave him a kiss on the cheek and a grin, hustling Jack out.
“Well,” Bertie said, suddenly alone in the room. “Well!”
-----
“Bertie!” Bingo cried with some vigour as he strode into the flat, tossing his hat and coat aside. “You’re here! Good!”
“There you are, you rotter,” Bertie said, around a mouthful of halibut. “I’ve got a bone to pick with you - ”
“Oh never mind that now, Bertie,” Bingo interrupted impatiently. “I’ve got something dreadfully important to tell you.”
“What is it this time?” Bertie huffed, stabbing at his fish with more force than was perhaps strictly necessary.
“I’m in love!” Bingo declared. Bertie levelled him with a most severely unimpressed look.
“If that’s all you’ve got to say - ”
“She’s a tender goddess, Bertie!”
“What, another one?”
“She’s not like the others!” Bingo cried. “I can see it now - I was only imagining I loved them, but Bertie I’ve spent an afternoon with her and oh she’s a wonder! Her face, Bertie, her eyes - ”
“No!” Bertie exclaimed firmly, brandishing his fork at Bingo sternly. “No, you blighter, you’ve already deprived me of lunch. If you say one more word, you’ll put me off my dinner too and I’ll box your ears.”
“But - ”
“No!” Bertie repeated. “You can wait until I’ve finished eating, you inconsiderate toe-rag.”
“Oh alright,” Bingo huffed, sitting back in his chair. Jeeves leaned over and poured him a glass of wine. “How come you missed lunch, then? Couldn’t you have had something at the Drone’s?”
“I could have,” Bertie said haughtily. “Had the two chaps I was with not insisted on dragging me around London with them in search of the girl you absconded with.”
“Two chaps?” Bingo sat upright. “What two chaps? Who were they?”
“I don’t know,” Bertie replied. “I didn’t ask. Friends. Brothers. Mad uncles. I don’t care.”
“Bertie…”
“Oh don’t get your knickers in a twist,” Bertie told him. “They seemed harmless enough. A bit rummy upstairs, maybe, but not exactly a threat. Don’t you think so, Jeeves?”
“Perhaps, sir,” Jeeves said calmly. “Although the elder of the two gentlemen at least, appeared to harbour some…stronger feelings towards the young lady.”
“Did he now?” Bertie grinned. “You might be in with a chance here, Bingo. That bird looked old enough to be her father!”
“If I may be permitted to say so, sir,” Jeeves interrupted. “But there seems to me to be something more to these three than perhaps might appear at first.”
“I say, what do you mean?” Bingo asked.
“Well, sir, I merely find myself wondering why the elder gentleman gave no name other than ‘the Doctor’.”
“Yes.” Bertie chewed thoughtfully. “Yes, that was rather odd, wasn’t it? Oh well, never mind. Probably just a nick-name. Like Claude and Eustace’s friend ‘Dog-Face’.”
“Very good sir.”
“Bertie, I have to see her again,” Bingo insisted.
“I don’t know how I’m going to put up with you in Market Snodsbury if you’re going to be like this all the time.” Bertie wrinkled his nose in distaste. “You’ll be unbearable - more than usual!”
“Market Snodsbury!” Bingo groaned. “I’d forgotten about that. Lord, Bertie, what if she leaves while I’m down there? I’ll never see her again!”
“No fear.” Bertie swallowed. “She’ll be down there with us.”
Bingo stared at him.
“Bertie,” he said with feeling. “I could kiss you.”
“Don’t,” Bertie warned. “I’ve still got the Chicken to come yet.”
-----
Fandom: Doctor Who/Jeeves and Wooster crossover
Rating: PG
Summary: Following a signal, the trio find themselves in the quaint time of Jeeves and Wooster. Unfortunately, getting their hands on what they're after isn't as easy as they might expect. Eventual 9/Rose/Jack
Part 1
Part 2
“If she’s picked up another pretty boy…” the Doctor muttered irritably, as Jack tried to get hold of her on her mobile and failed again.
“Another pretty boy?” Jack asked with a raised eyebrow, while Bertie loitered a little way away and smoked a cigarette in the manner of one highly put upon.
“Don’t flatter yourself you’re the first,” the Doctor shot back, with a small grin.
“As long as I get first dibs on any others she drags along,” Jack retorted, then swore down at the phone. “Dammit, why doesn’t she ever answer her cell?”
“I’m sure she’ll turn up eventually,” Bertie told them cheerfully. “The worst that could happen is that she’ll end up engaged to old Bingo. Wouldn’t be the first time.”
The Doctor stared at him, while Jack slid his phone back into his jacket pocket.
“Oh don’t worry!” Bertie assured them hurriedly, taking in their expressions. “There hasn’t been a woman yet who’s held his attention long enough for him to actually marry her.”
“That,” the Doctor said sternly. “Is hardly reassuring.”
“Well I don’t know about you chaps,” the other man continued unabashed, flicking the butt of his cigarette away. “But I’m jolly hungry. Traipsing around London on an empty stomach after a renegade member of the fairer sex isn’t the most pleasant of past times. How about we head back to mine? No doubt she’ll find her way back there sooner or later. And I can give Aunt Dahlia a call while we’re there.”
“That’s the first clever thing you’ve said all day,” the Doctor told him, and headed off back the way they’d come.
-----
Rose was waiting for them when they got back to the flat, seated comfortably in an armchair surrounded by boxes and bags, cradling a cup of tea and looking thoroughly pleased with herself.
“Hey!” she greeted as they entered. “I was wondering what’d happened to you.”
“We’ve been traipsing around London trying to find you,” the Doctor huffed pointedly.
“What’d you do that for?” Rose asked. “Did you get the thingummy?”
“No,” Jack said, with an irritated sigh.
“As you’d know if you hadn’t swanned off,” the Doctor added.
“Hang on.” Rose set her cup aside and eyed the Doctor challengingly. “You said I could go.”
“I didn’t say to attach yourself to the nearest pretty bloke who nances past and disappear!”
“So you’d rather I’d go alone and get kidnapped?” Rose retorted, standing. Jack moved over to take her chair and picked up her tea, watching the brewing argument with intense amusement.
“You could at least have answered your phone!” the Doctor insisted, knowing full well he was going to lose this round but not ready to give up just yet.
“Because that’d have looked really good, wouldn’t it?” she snapped. “A twenty-first century mobile phone being waved around when they’re still using telegrams.”
“She’s got a point, Doc,” Jack called, unable to resist adding his two cents when he saw the Doctor was floundering.
The Doctor’s nostrils flared, he wasn’t sure whether he was pleased she was finally learning, or annoying that she’d chosen now to start.
“See?” Bertie said brightly, coming up behind him and interrupting his moment of indecision. “Told you she’d turn up here.”
“A gold star for the ape who shows common sense for once in his life!” the Doctor said irritably. “Get on and phone that bloody aunt of yours, will you?”
Bertie watched, baffled, as he turned and stomped into the kitchen.
“I say, what’s wrong with him?”
“He’s jealous,” Jack said with a grin, finishing Rose’s tea and putting the cup down. “Happens all the time, don’t worry about it.”
-----
Rose went and sat on the arm of Jack’s chair as a hearty cry of
“Bertie, you revolting blot on society, what do you want?”
rang out from the telephone receiver.
“How’d you two find out about Bingo?” she asked Jack quietly, while Bertie wrestled verbally with whoever was on the other end of the phone.
“Our charming host was supposed to be having lunch with him,” Jack told her, taking her hand and grinning up at her. “He sent a note saying an important engagement had come up.”
“Did he?” Rose stared at him.
“Yep. Now Rose, tell me.” He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. “Was he prettier than me?”
Rose laughed.
“No,” she said. “He was a bit lanky…and kept pulling fish faces at me. Why? Feeling a little insecure, Captain?”
“Hardly.” Jack squeezed her hand, then released it. “Doc got it into his head you’d gone off with some pretty-boy. He was consumed with jealousy.”
Rose raised an eyebrow. Of course, she’d seen the Doctor acting jealous before, but she’d assumed that was just because he was annoyed that Jack was a considerably more suave version of himself.
“And what about you?” she asked with a slight grin, poking Jack in the shoulder. “Were you jealous too?”
“Insanely,” Jack replied, catching her finger in a manner which belied the light-hearted way he said it.
Before she could do more than blink at him, however, Bertie set down with telephone with a triumphant,
“Ha!”
The Doctor strolled back in from the kitchen, looking only marginally less sulky, and raised an eyebrow at their host as Jack and Rose turned to see what was happening.
“All sorted?” the Doctor asked.
“Yep!” Bertie clapped his hands together and rubbed them, smiling broadly. “Aunt Dahlia’s expecting you down there on Saturday - the day after I get there.”
“Right.” The Doctor smiled tightly back at him. “Ta very much. We’ll see you there. Rose, Jack, we’re off.”
Jack and Rose obediently stood and trailed after the Doctor, who left the flat without another word. Jack shook Bertie’s hand, smiling warmly, and said he was looking forward to seeing him again. Rose gave him a kiss on the cheek and a grin, hustling Jack out.
“Well,” Bertie said, suddenly alone in the room. “Well!”
-----
“Bertie!” Bingo cried with some vigour as he strode into the flat, tossing his hat and coat aside. “You’re here! Good!”
“There you are, you rotter,” Bertie said, around a mouthful of halibut. “I’ve got a bone to pick with you - ”
“Oh never mind that now, Bertie,” Bingo interrupted impatiently. “I’ve got something dreadfully important to tell you.”
“What is it this time?” Bertie huffed, stabbing at his fish with more force than was perhaps strictly necessary.
“I’m in love!” Bingo declared. Bertie levelled him with a most severely unimpressed look.
“If that’s all you’ve got to say - ”
“She’s a tender goddess, Bertie!”
“What, another one?”
“She’s not like the others!” Bingo cried. “I can see it now - I was only imagining I loved them, but Bertie I’ve spent an afternoon with her and oh she’s a wonder! Her face, Bertie, her eyes - ”
“No!” Bertie exclaimed firmly, brandishing his fork at Bingo sternly. “No, you blighter, you’ve already deprived me of lunch. If you say one more word, you’ll put me off my dinner too and I’ll box your ears.”
“But - ”
“No!” Bertie repeated. “You can wait until I’ve finished eating, you inconsiderate toe-rag.”
“Oh alright,” Bingo huffed, sitting back in his chair. Jeeves leaned over and poured him a glass of wine. “How come you missed lunch, then? Couldn’t you have had something at the Drone’s?”
“I could have,” Bertie said haughtily. “Had the two chaps I was with not insisted on dragging me around London with them in search of the girl you absconded with.”
“Two chaps?” Bingo sat upright. “What two chaps? Who were they?”
“I don’t know,” Bertie replied. “I didn’t ask. Friends. Brothers. Mad uncles. I don’t care.”
“Bertie…”
“Oh don’t get your knickers in a twist,” Bertie told him. “They seemed harmless enough. A bit rummy upstairs, maybe, but not exactly a threat. Don’t you think so, Jeeves?”
“Perhaps, sir,” Jeeves said calmly. “Although the elder of the two gentlemen at least, appeared to harbour some…stronger feelings towards the young lady.”
“Did he now?” Bertie grinned. “You might be in with a chance here, Bingo. That bird looked old enough to be her father!”
“If I may be permitted to say so, sir,” Jeeves interrupted. “But there seems to me to be something more to these three than perhaps might appear at first.”
“I say, what do you mean?” Bingo asked.
“Well, sir, I merely find myself wondering why the elder gentleman gave no name other than ‘the Doctor’.”
“Yes.” Bertie chewed thoughtfully. “Yes, that was rather odd, wasn’t it? Oh well, never mind. Probably just a nick-name. Like Claude and Eustace’s friend ‘Dog-Face’.”
“Very good sir.”
“Bertie, I have to see her again,” Bingo insisted.
“I don’t know how I’m going to put up with you in Market Snodsbury if you’re going to be like this all the time.” Bertie wrinkled his nose in distaste. “You’ll be unbearable - more than usual!”
“Market Snodsbury!” Bingo groaned. “I’d forgotten about that. Lord, Bertie, what if she leaves while I’m down there? I’ll never see her again!”
“No fear.” Bertie swallowed. “She’ll be down there with us.”
Bingo stared at him.
“Bertie,” he said with feeling. “I could kiss you.”
“Don’t,” Bertie warned. “I’ve still got the Chicken to come yet.”
-----