A Swell Party - 9/13
Title: A Swell Party 9/13
Fandom: Doctor Who/Jeeves and Wooster crossover
Rating: PG
Summary: Following a signal, the trio find themselves in the quaint time of Jeeves and Wooster. Unfortunately, getting their hands on what they're after isn't as easy as they might expect. Eventual 9/Rose/Jack
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
“Honoria?” Rose smiled at the older woman as she turned to glare at her. Oh, the Doctor and Jack were so dead. “Hi,” she said, jogging to catch up with her. “I was just…thinking that, um, you and me could maybe, y’know, get to know each other a bit? Since you’re such good friends with Jack an’ all…”
When Honoria ventured no comment, Rose tried again.
“He’s told me all about you.”
Honoria paused, glancing at Rose.
“He has?”
“Oh, yeah,” Rose nodded encouragingly. “Loads of stuff.”
“Such as?” Honoria prompted suspiciously.
“Well…” Rose faltered. “Like…”
“Yes,” Honoria said dryly. “That’s what I thought.”
She strode off again. Rose skipped along to keep up with her.
“Alright, so he didn’t say anything.”
“You do surprise me."
Honoria sped up. Rose valiantly attempted to keep pace.
“Come on, Honoria,” she wheedled. “I’m not that bad, y’know. I - ack!”
A combination of her skirt snagging around her legs and slightly slippery ground led to Rose suddenly finding herself on her arse in the shallows of the ornamental lake, Honoria standing on the bank laughing like a steam train.
“I’m sure you’re a very admirable person, Miss Tyler,” she called. “But I’m afraid you’ll have to forgive me if I have little desire to get to know you more closely, given the circumstances.”
She walked off, leaving Rose to slosh out of the lake irritably, picking duckweed from her hair and trying to wring her skirt out, imagining bringing painful retribution down upon the two men in the TARDIS.
Bertie came across her just as she was removing a particularly enthusiastic newt from her bra, muttering darkly.
“What-ho!” he called cheerfully, catching up with her. “I say, been for a dip?”
“Yeah,” Rose said snidely. “Just fancied a swim.”
Bertie studied her for a moment.
“Well then…best get you back up to the house and dried off, eh?” He held his arm out to her and suppressed a grimace as her wet one linked through it, soaking his jacket.
After a long moment of silence, Rose spoke.
“Bertie,” she said, in the tone of voice that, when used by his aunts, usually had him legging it sharpish in the other direction. “You know Honoria quite well, don’t you?”
“I’d say a good deal too well!” he said, and eyed her suspiciously. “Why?”
“Well…” She glanced up at him with her biggest brown-eyed puppy-dog stare, and Bertie would later blame that for his downfall, saying it woke his chivalrous Wooster spirit. “I was wondering, perhaps, if you’d be able to help me with something…”
“What?” he asked. “Because if it involves any breaking and entering then I’m afraid you can forget it.”
“…Breaking and entering?” Rose repeated, blankly.
“Yes.”
“Oh.” Rose paused, then turned her most persuasive expression. “Well, no. No breaking and entering.
“What then?”
“Weeelll…This guy Henderson used to work for Honoria…And there’s a chance he left something important behind when he left…” She fiddled slightly with Bertie’s sleeve. “Maybe, I thought, you’d be able to find out where it is? Just, y’know, ask Honoria. She won’t talk to me…”
“…Righto.” Bertie smiled, glad for once he was being asked to do something relatively simple. “I can manage that.”
“Thank you!” She beamed at him, and leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek, before disappearing inside the blue Police Call Box they’d stopped outside.
Bertie stared at it briefly, wondering when on earth Aunt Dahlia had bought it, before shaking his head and strolling back inside, whistling jovially.
-----
“Jeeves?”
“Yes sir?”
“I’ve been thinking…”
“…Really, sir?”
“I was wondering. Perhaps instead of trying to foist Miss Tyler onto the Doctor we could, I don’t know, tempt her away with another dashing figure?”
“Who did you have in mind, sir?”
“Well…Me.”
“You, sir?”
“Yes.”
“…I don’t think that would be wise, sir.”
“But - ”
“It would complicate things unnecessarily, sir.”
“…Are you sure?”
“Quite, sir.”
“…Oh alright.”
-----
Jack glanced up as Rose squelched through the console room.
“What happened to you?” he asked. “Honoria shove you in the lake?”
“Just so you know,” Rose said smiling at him, saccharine sweet. “If we were really engaged, you’d be sleeping on the settee tonight.”
-----
“What-ho, Honoria!” Bertie said brightly. “I was - er - wondering if I could have a word.”
“I ‘m sure you can, Bertie,” Honoria replied, wielding her croquet mallet in a manner which made Bertie distinctly uneasy. “You could probably have a whole dictionary if you wanted.”
She did not, however, show any signs of paying him the slightest bit of attention after that.
“Why are you still here, Bertie?” she asked after a rather long pause, where Bertie fiddled eloquently with his cuffs.
“I…er, I wanted a word. With you,” he said, utterly baffled.
“Well, that’s a different matter entirely.” Honoria lined up her shot with the precision of an assassin. “Go away, Bertie, unless you’ve come to tell me Captain Harkness has murdered Miss Tyler and is looking to beg my forgiveness.”
Bertie wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so he soldiered on valiantly pretending she hadn’t said it.
“Wanted to inquire after that man of yours, Henderson, actually.”
“Left. Dropped off the face of the planet. Fell into the abyss. Do push off, Bertie.”
“Gone, eh? That’s a shame.” Bertie contemplated the jug of lemonade on the nearby table with an air of badly-studied nonchalance. “He didn’t - ah - he didn’t happen to leave anything behind, did he?”
Honoria paused, then straightened up and eyed Bertie suspiciously. Her grip on the croquet mallet shifted and Bertram prepared to leg it.
“Yes, actually,” she said slowly. “Just the one thing. Why do you ask?”
-----
“Here it is,” Honoria said, extracting the ornament from the box carefully. “Not my sort of thing - thought I’d give it to Angela.”
Bertie took it slowly and eyed it with a raised eyebrow.
“It’s…lovely?” he tried.
“Oh shut up, Bertie,” Honoria told him. “I can’t imagine why you’d want to see it. Angela’s all for this sort of thing, personally, I can’t see the attraction.”
“Oh, well, must run in the family,” Bertie said. “I think it’s charming.”
“I think you’re lying.” Honoria took it off him and set it back in the box. “Now shoo, Bertie, before I punt you out the window to see if you bounce.”
Bertie shoo-ed.
-----
Fandom: Doctor Who/Jeeves and Wooster crossover
Rating: PG
Summary: Following a signal, the trio find themselves in the quaint time of Jeeves and Wooster. Unfortunately, getting their hands on what they're after isn't as easy as they might expect. Eventual 9/Rose/Jack
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
“Honoria?” Rose smiled at the older woman as she turned to glare at her. Oh, the Doctor and Jack were so dead. “Hi,” she said, jogging to catch up with her. “I was just…thinking that, um, you and me could maybe, y’know, get to know each other a bit? Since you’re such good friends with Jack an’ all…”
When Honoria ventured no comment, Rose tried again.
“He’s told me all about you.”
Honoria paused, glancing at Rose.
“He has?”
“Oh, yeah,” Rose nodded encouragingly. “Loads of stuff.”
“Such as?” Honoria prompted suspiciously.
“Well…” Rose faltered. “Like…”
“Yes,” Honoria said dryly. “That’s what I thought.”
She strode off again. Rose skipped along to keep up with her.
“Alright, so he didn’t say anything.”
“You do surprise me."
Honoria sped up. Rose valiantly attempted to keep pace.
“Come on, Honoria,” she wheedled. “I’m not that bad, y’know. I - ack!”
A combination of her skirt snagging around her legs and slightly slippery ground led to Rose suddenly finding herself on her arse in the shallows of the ornamental lake, Honoria standing on the bank laughing like a steam train.
“I’m sure you’re a very admirable person, Miss Tyler,” she called. “But I’m afraid you’ll have to forgive me if I have little desire to get to know you more closely, given the circumstances.”
She walked off, leaving Rose to slosh out of the lake irritably, picking duckweed from her hair and trying to wring her skirt out, imagining bringing painful retribution down upon the two men in the TARDIS.
Bertie came across her just as she was removing a particularly enthusiastic newt from her bra, muttering darkly.
“What-ho!” he called cheerfully, catching up with her. “I say, been for a dip?”
“Yeah,” Rose said snidely. “Just fancied a swim.”
Bertie studied her for a moment.
“Well then…best get you back up to the house and dried off, eh?” He held his arm out to her and suppressed a grimace as her wet one linked through it, soaking his jacket.
After a long moment of silence, Rose spoke.
“Bertie,” she said, in the tone of voice that, when used by his aunts, usually had him legging it sharpish in the other direction. “You know Honoria quite well, don’t you?”
“I’d say a good deal too well!” he said, and eyed her suspiciously. “Why?”
“Well…” She glanced up at him with her biggest brown-eyed puppy-dog stare, and Bertie would later blame that for his downfall, saying it woke his chivalrous Wooster spirit. “I was wondering, perhaps, if you’d be able to help me with something…”
“What?” he asked. “Because if it involves any breaking and entering then I’m afraid you can forget it.”
“…Breaking and entering?” Rose repeated, blankly.
“Yes.”
“Oh.” Rose paused, then turned her most persuasive expression. “Well, no. No breaking and entering.
“What then?”
“Weeelll…This guy Henderson used to work for Honoria…And there’s a chance he left something important behind when he left…” She fiddled slightly with Bertie’s sleeve. “Maybe, I thought, you’d be able to find out where it is? Just, y’know, ask Honoria. She won’t talk to me…”
“…Righto.” Bertie smiled, glad for once he was being asked to do something relatively simple. “I can manage that.”
“Thank you!” She beamed at him, and leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek, before disappearing inside the blue Police Call Box they’d stopped outside.
Bertie stared at it briefly, wondering when on earth Aunt Dahlia had bought it, before shaking his head and strolling back inside, whistling jovially.
-----
“Jeeves?”
“Yes sir?”
“I’ve been thinking…”
“…Really, sir?”
“I was wondering. Perhaps instead of trying to foist Miss Tyler onto the Doctor we could, I don’t know, tempt her away with another dashing figure?”
“Who did you have in mind, sir?”
“Well…Me.”
“You, sir?”
“Yes.”
“…I don’t think that would be wise, sir.”
“But - ”
“It would complicate things unnecessarily, sir.”
“…Are you sure?”
“Quite, sir.”
“…Oh alright.”
-----
Jack glanced up as Rose squelched through the console room.
“What happened to you?” he asked. “Honoria shove you in the lake?”
“Just so you know,” Rose said smiling at him, saccharine sweet. “If we were really engaged, you’d be sleeping on the settee tonight.”
-----
“What-ho, Honoria!” Bertie said brightly. “I was - er - wondering if I could have a word.”
“I ‘m sure you can, Bertie,” Honoria replied, wielding her croquet mallet in a manner which made Bertie distinctly uneasy. “You could probably have a whole dictionary if you wanted.”
She did not, however, show any signs of paying him the slightest bit of attention after that.
“Why are you still here, Bertie?” she asked after a rather long pause, where Bertie fiddled eloquently with his cuffs.
“I…er, I wanted a word. With you,” he said, utterly baffled.
“Well, that’s a different matter entirely.” Honoria lined up her shot with the precision of an assassin. “Go away, Bertie, unless you’ve come to tell me Captain Harkness has murdered Miss Tyler and is looking to beg my forgiveness.”
Bertie wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so he soldiered on valiantly pretending she hadn’t said it.
“Wanted to inquire after that man of yours, Henderson, actually.”
“Left. Dropped off the face of the planet. Fell into the abyss. Do push off, Bertie.”
“Gone, eh? That’s a shame.” Bertie contemplated the jug of lemonade on the nearby table with an air of badly-studied nonchalance. “He didn’t - ah - he didn’t happen to leave anything behind, did he?”
Honoria paused, then straightened up and eyed Bertie suspiciously. Her grip on the croquet mallet shifted and Bertram prepared to leg it.
“Yes, actually,” she said slowly. “Just the one thing. Why do you ask?”
-----
“Here it is,” Honoria said, extracting the ornament from the box carefully. “Not my sort of thing - thought I’d give it to Angela.”
Bertie took it slowly and eyed it with a raised eyebrow.
“It’s…lovely?” he tried.
“Oh shut up, Bertie,” Honoria told him. “I can’t imagine why you’d want to see it. Angela’s all for this sort of thing, personally, I can’t see the attraction.”
“Oh, well, must run in the family,” Bertie said. “I think it’s charming.”
“I think you’re lying.” Honoria took it off him and set it back in the box. “Now shoo, Bertie, before I punt you out the window to see if you bounce.”
Bertie shoo-ed.
-----