Dude, where's my Calliope?
My bday was last week, I turned 22. I went out for drinks with a two friends. They came over at chez moi first to surprise me with a very delicious ice cream bday cake while I was waiting for them to show up at the busstop. Thanks to cellphones I made it back home right before the collapsing of the cake and we devoured half of the cake while standing in our respective four inch heels. Alas the rest of the cake went to the garbage (fully aware that there are children starving somewhere) because my fridge breathed its last four months ago and I did not care to replace it mainly because the university provides free lunches every day and I spend the rest of the time on take out and canned milk. I am that weird.
bookishy mentioned lack of i-net and I wanted to speak of my own experience. Lack of internet is a horrible thing and it's happening too often. This is of course because filched WiFi from the neighbours isn't very reliable as a method.
So when it occurs I enter this state of mind in which I'm walking grooves in my flat's floor as I make the journey from couch to bed to toilet to kitchen looking for something to do. I usually end up back on the pc reading an ebook or three. I don't know what going cold turkey on drugs means but this is as close as I get. What's worse, I am not actually motivated to write. So my fic is rather stuck. In the beginning. Again. The funny thing is that two months ago I was half way through. I hate me.
Anyway because I am tired of looking at five paragraphs in Word all which are trying to say the same thing, I am going to review some movies that have been waiting to be watched in my hard drive since the Reliable-Internet era.
Marie Antoinette:
What a dead little movie. It was bland as lukewarm non-fat milk despite the fawesome shots of Versailles and the MTV-esque shopping spree ala French court. I find it ironic that it was placed in 18th century France and it told the story of MARIE ANTOINETTE queen of atrocious hyperbole and I-want-to-be-loved syndromes. Yet it was so DEAD and I do not blame the lack of background music (I do indie artsy movies too you know). She was so colourless for all the (failed) attempts at giving her a multi-dimensional personality. It was a general trait of all characters in the movie that they in fact lacked personalities.
I'm not really interested to know how silly was MA in historic reality but I found the attempts at excusing her behaviour and making MA seem misunderstood somewhat ridiculous. I do not expect every king and queen to be super smart and noble and t00biness-free and totally not self-absorbed and actually aware of their country's issues. I personally think they were sort of programmed that way. All the inbreeding and artificial selection of traits like prettiness and docility not unlike dog breeding (Will, darling, do forgive me) was bound to strike back at some point.
On the other hand I am now allowed by my own silly standards to have "I want candy" in my mp3 playlist because--yay!--it's in a legitimate soundtrack listing.
Painted Veil:
It was nice...:P
Seriously though, I'm not overly enthusiastic about it apart from that fact that it's a good movie in a good setting with a good script and good acting. It's just that.. you sort of know what's going to happen since they willingly go to live in a village in the middle of a cholera outbreak just before the discovery (I don't think it counts as an invention) of antibiotics. Plus, Norton and Watts make up in the middle of the movie which is a big tell that it's going to end sadly. However they did play the angry/hurt tension very well although for some reason I kept expecting it to turn Lion in Winter on me which I would have liked a lot *sigh* The little British chap was brilliant. Why have I not watched Infamous yet?
Outlander:
I have seen the dark side of SciFi and I did not like it. Cause it's cliched and unsurprising and soooo four decades ago. Question: How did Jack Huston's Wulfric end up being lotr movie!Boromir and why was I not surprised? Annoyed yes, surprised no. It was rather amusing though since there was an actual character named Boromir in Outlander already heh. Observation: Do you o! Hollywood producer care to make a movie and put all your cash into the special effects while getting cheap decent actors too? GO BRIT!
Mask of Zorro in juxtaposition with Robin Hood BBC:
I know it's very old but I turned on my tv and it was there and I wasn't going to actually watch it for the umpteenth time yet I was struck by the cliches. Or archetypes I'm not quite sure which is which here. I thought it amusing that hero, feisty heroine, arch-enemy, and evil goon could just as easily live in medieval England and be named Robin, Marian, Sheriff and Gisborne instead. It's even more funny how more alike this movie and the new RH season will be if you put Hopkins!Zorro in Robin's shoes. Is there a difference between cliches and archetypes and why do they appeal so much? And when one diverts from the archetype to create i.e. an anti-hero, then one creates a new archetype and it will in turn become a cliche from overuse. I feel manipulated.
To conclude and to prove I have not been sitting on my ass (well I have been but you get the point) a fic cookie/snippet from my unnamed, very rough but mostly thought out RH G/M WIP:
“No! No, no, no, no, NO!” Vasey said too loudly compared to Guy’s quiet timbre. “You can’t tell me he’s in England without his guard to protect him, feeling quite the merry errant knight and then dare to imply finding him and gutting him isn’t-- bloody-- possible!” Marian could almost hear Vasey poking a finger in Guy’s chest.
“How many men did Buckingham put in? Didn’t I tell you I want--.”
A hand descended on Marian’s shoulder and she reacted by taking hold of it, whirling and swinging it behind her aggressor’s back. She put a palm over his mouth to shut him up before registering it was Allan. Relaxing, she held a finger on her lips to indicate he keep quiet. She waited for his understanding nod first and only then released him to go back to listening.
“--enough. He has at least a tenfold more men than that. Let’s push him for a hundred more shall we? Tickhill doesn’t need that large a garrison: puny castle.”
“I’ll send for the scribe in the morning.”
“Good. Excellent. We shall patrol all of England. I want his quivering, bloody, leonine heart wrapped in his Templar’s cloak in my hands-soon! Do you hear me?” Marian caught the Sheriff’s turn of phrase. Could he be actually talking about…?
“Yes my Lord, I’ll keep looking.”
“Not so fast, Gisborne. You have work to do in Nottingham. You need to catch up.”
“I’ll start immediately.”
“Good boy. And we won’t forget to introduce you to the Prince when the time comes, eh?” Guy’s reply was slow to come.
“Thank you my Lord.”
There was the distinctive metallic noise of spurs and boots scraping the floor and Marian backed from the door frantically looking for a hiding place. A pillar though thin was creating a dark spot assisted by a nearby torch. She hid just as the door squeaked open.
“Giz! Welcome back!” was Allan’s panicky greeting.
“Allan. Why aren’t you in bed?” She had a clear viewpoint to Guy’s back of the head and half of his high sharp cheek. The black hair that she would have preferred it obstructed his view of her pillar were tucked behind an ear and she couldn’t move an inch without warning him.
“They called me when you arrived.” Marian saw Allan put a hand on Guy’s shoulder and guide him away from her pillar. “I ‘ad ‘em make yer bed. I figured you’d need yer kip wot wif all the ridin’ about.” She let out a soundless breath.
“I’m going home Allan.”
“It’s late Giz. You’re goin’ to be ‘ere before dawn anyways. You don’t ‘ave to waste sleepin’ time to go to Locksley and back.”
Guy chuckled tiredly. “You can stay here and sleep past dawn if you wish. You deserve it I think.”
“Can’t ‘ave a lie-in.” Their voices sounded farther off now as they approached the stairway. “I need to unlock Marian’s door innit?” Marian mentally promised to thank Allan in the morning.
***
I still hate me btw... I'll need a beta at some point but heeey I still have some months ahead of me Feel free to criticize.
bookishy mentioned lack of i-net and I wanted to speak of my own experience. Lack of internet is a horrible thing and it's happening too often. This is of course because filched WiFi from the neighbours isn't very reliable as a method.
So when it occurs I enter this state of mind in which I'm walking grooves in my flat's floor as I make the journey from couch to bed to toilet to kitchen looking for something to do. I usually end up back on the pc reading an ebook or three. I don't know what going cold turkey on drugs means but this is as close as I get. What's worse, I am not actually motivated to write. So my fic is rather stuck. In the beginning. Again. The funny thing is that two months ago I was half way through. I hate me.
Anyway because I am tired of looking at five paragraphs in Word all which are trying to say the same thing, I am going to review some movies that have been waiting to be watched in my hard drive since the Reliable-Internet era.
Marie Antoinette:
What a dead little movie. It was bland as lukewarm non-fat milk despite the fawesome shots of Versailles and the MTV-esque shopping spree ala French court. I find it ironic that it was placed in 18th century France and it told the story of MARIE ANTOINETTE queen of atrocious hyperbole and I-want-to-be-loved syndromes. Yet it was so DEAD and I do not blame the lack of background music (I do indie artsy movies too you know). She was so colourless for all the (failed) attempts at giving her a multi-dimensional personality. It was a general trait of all characters in the movie that they in fact lacked personalities.
I'm not really interested to know how silly was MA in historic reality but I found the attempts at excusing her behaviour and making MA seem misunderstood somewhat ridiculous. I do not expect every king and queen to be super smart and noble and t00biness-free and totally not self-absorbed and actually aware of their country's issues. I personally think they were sort of programmed that way. All the inbreeding and artificial selection of traits like prettiness and docility not unlike dog breeding (Will, darling, do forgive me) was bound to strike back at some point.
On the other hand I am now allowed by my own silly standards to have "I want candy" in my mp3 playlist because--yay!--it's in a legitimate soundtrack listing.
Painted Veil:
It was nice...:P
Seriously though, I'm not overly enthusiastic about it apart from that fact that it's a good movie in a good setting with a good script and good acting. It's just that.. you sort of know what's going to happen since they willingly go to live in a village in the middle of a cholera outbreak just before the discovery (I don't think it counts as an invention) of antibiotics. Plus, Norton and Watts make up in the middle of the movie which is a big tell that it's going to end sadly. However they did play the angry/hurt tension very well although for some reason I kept expecting it to turn Lion in Winter on me which I would have liked a lot *sigh* The little British chap was brilliant. Why have I not watched Infamous yet?
Outlander:
I have seen the dark side of SciFi and I did not like it. Cause it's cliched and unsurprising and soooo four decades ago. Question: How did Jack Huston's Wulfric end up being lotr movie!Boromir and why was I not surprised? Annoyed yes, surprised no. It was rather amusing though since there was an actual character named Boromir in Outlander already heh. Observation: Do you o! Hollywood producer care to make a movie and put all your cash into the special effects while getting cheap decent actors too? GO BRIT!
Mask of Zorro in juxtaposition with Robin Hood BBC:
I know it's very old but I turned on my tv and it was there and I wasn't going to actually watch it for the umpteenth time yet I was struck by the cliches. Or archetypes I'm not quite sure which is which here. I thought it amusing that hero, feisty heroine, arch-enemy, and evil goon could just as easily live in medieval England and be named Robin, Marian, Sheriff and Gisborne instead. It's even more funny how more alike this movie and the new RH season will be if you put Hopkins!Zorro in Robin's shoes. Is there a difference between cliches and archetypes and why do they appeal so much? And when one diverts from the archetype to create i.e. an anti-hero, then one creates a new archetype and it will in turn become a cliche from overuse. I feel manipulated.
To conclude and to prove I have not been sitting on my ass (well I have been but you get the point) a fic cookie/snippet from my unnamed, very rough but mostly thought out RH G/M WIP:
“No! No, no, no, no, NO!” Vasey said too loudly compared to Guy’s quiet timbre. “You can’t tell me he’s in England without his guard to protect him, feeling quite the merry errant knight and then dare to imply finding him and gutting him isn’t-- bloody-- possible!” Marian could almost hear Vasey poking a finger in Guy’s chest.
“How many men did Buckingham put in? Didn’t I tell you I want--.”
A hand descended on Marian’s shoulder and she reacted by taking hold of it, whirling and swinging it behind her aggressor’s back. She put a palm over his mouth to shut him up before registering it was Allan. Relaxing, she held a finger on her lips to indicate he keep quiet. She waited for his understanding nod first and only then released him to go back to listening.
“--enough. He has at least a tenfold more men than that. Let’s push him for a hundred more shall we? Tickhill doesn’t need that large a garrison: puny castle.”
“I’ll send for the scribe in the morning.”
“Good. Excellent. We shall patrol all of England. I want his quivering, bloody, leonine heart wrapped in his Templar’s cloak in my hands-soon! Do you hear me?” Marian caught the Sheriff’s turn of phrase. Could he be actually talking about…?
“Yes my Lord, I’ll keep looking.”
“Not so fast, Gisborne. You have work to do in Nottingham. You need to catch up.”
“I’ll start immediately.”
“Good boy. And we won’t forget to introduce you to the Prince when the time comes, eh?” Guy’s reply was slow to come.
“Thank you my Lord.”
There was the distinctive metallic noise of spurs and boots scraping the floor and Marian backed from the door frantically looking for a hiding place. A pillar though thin was creating a dark spot assisted by a nearby torch. She hid just as the door squeaked open.
“Giz! Welcome back!” was Allan’s panicky greeting.
“Allan. Why aren’t you in bed?” She had a clear viewpoint to Guy’s back of the head and half of his high sharp cheek. The black hair that she would have preferred it obstructed his view of her pillar were tucked behind an ear and she couldn’t move an inch without warning him.
“They called me when you arrived.” Marian saw Allan put a hand on Guy’s shoulder and guide him away from her pillar. “I ‘ad ‘em make yer bed. I figured you’d need yer kip wot wif all the ridin’ about.” She let out a soundless breath.
“I’m going home Allan.”
“It’s late Giz. You’re goin’ to be ‘ere before dawn anyways. You don’t ‘ave to waste sleepin’ time to go to Locksley and back.”
Guy chuckled tiredly. “You can stay here and sleep past dawn if you wish. You deserve it I think.”
“Can’t ‘ave a lie-in.” Their voices sounded farther off now as they approached the stairway. “I need to unlock Marian’s door innit?” Marian mentally promised to thank Allan in the morning.
***
I still hate me btw... I'll need a beta at some point but heeey I still have some months ahead of me Feel free to criticize.