it's long, im not even going to pretend it's short; but at least im alive!!!!
(oh and just so you know this entry was written at two in the morning last night, so if something sounds off, its because i wrote it early in the morning ;) )
Dear freakin’ god, it’s only been forever since I updated. Currently my roommate is sleeping so im trying to type quietly which is hard to do with this keyboard, but alas im actually awake enough to update. I just got back from a play called “triangle” which the director of the play im in, is in. Now that it’s over, my own rehearsals should be picking (did I spell that right?) up. So, anyways, whats been going on with me? Well lets see…since I last updated I moved out of the house, I have five classes and a lab which are kicking my butt, but apparently not as badly as I thought. I work close to full time at Godiva, but at least the pay isn’t bad and the manager from hell is actually starting to be nice to me (which worries me a little, and by a little I mean a lot). I mean the job is actually pretty nice, I meet a lot of really interesting people, and I get to speak to a lot of customers in German since we have many international people who shop there. The perks of the job are that if you tell any one in the neighboring area you work at a fancy chocolate shop they give you free stuff in return for a truffle or two, lol. And of course you can never beat the fact that I was once given 100 dollars by a customer just so that I could eat at a five star restaurant, where I already know the owner of said restaurant so I got an open bar, free desserts, and my meal on discount; not to mention my friend Eric is still giving me back half of what I paid that night since I took out my friend Jessica for her birthday. All in all…that was a fantastic night! Lol, but honestly that’s the only spectacular thing that’s ever happened. Otherwise I deal with snooty rich people, kids who have fancier cologne and perfume than I could ever afford and get their purses from Gucci, and not to mention a butt load of work as it is since we are understaffed.
Anyhoot, other than that I don’t really have a personal life. I mean I do and I don’t. My life revolves around work and school but im lucky that I live in an upperclassmen dorm because at least I live amongst the social activities instead of being a complete hermit, but really unless the party is being held sometime after 11:00 I cant make it. I have to say im happy here though, I feel like im making good friends and I feel really at home in my dorm which I know sounds funny but I think its because the way everything is set up, and how small the apartment is it reminds me a lot of matts old apartment, and that was the one place I remember thinking I could make my home back when so I think it kind of projected itself to this place. Of course I think the fact that my roommate is amazing, and my suitmates are really nice helps a lot. I also have wonderful neighbors and an ‘across the courtyard buddy’ whom I visit often and who has helped me more than she should this semester *coughchaudroncough*.
So much has happened though I don’t even know where to begin. I have 11 classes left until I graduate; 14 altogether with my minor so I either have the choice of graduating a semester early or I could do it the smart way and just have a really calm senior year (im going for the calm) Then it’s off to grad school and I am so terrified of this. I want to go to either London, California, New York, or Boston. I mean I have to go for my Ph.D. so why not try the crazy schools? Of course there’s the chance I don’t get into any of those, but that terrifies me even more, because as much as I love psychology, what can you do with only a bachelors in psychology and minor in philosophy? I mean true I could apply at a public school system and be a councilor but even then you need to have a masters degree in order to even get a decent income. *le sigh* so much to be afraid of, but somehow I’ll make it happen. I guess I just realized that many of my plans take me far away from everything I know, and it’s not that I want to leave exactly I just realize that im tired of only talking about my dreams or goals. I’m 21 and even though in retrospect im still just a child, im also technically two semesters away from graduating. It’s weird you know? You go through your days without ever really looking back, and then one day you look at the years that have passed by and the things you’ve done and the people you have met…and even though my life for the past two years has been incredibly hectic, in a way they have also been the best because I finally decided to live for myself. I mean, I am afraid of leaving my friends and family, and I am afraid that everyone will go on with their lives and forget about me, but in the end don’t the people you have such deep connections with at this age always remain your friends, or at least in touch? I suppose it’s just a part of life, when you separate from everything but how exactly can you separate, be independent and live for yourself without severing any ties and burning any bridges? Since that’s the last thing I want to do.
Well, all I truly know is that I have certain set goals, those being the following: Get into grad school
Do the peace corps
Get my Ph.D.
Have a family
Retire and open shop.
and that’s that, those are my goals and I’ll work towards them and I will try to have as many little adventures in between but I’ll do it. And if im lucky I should have my Ph.D. by the time im 30. that gives me until ‘09 for my bachelors, ‘11 for my masters, ‘13 to get back from peace corps, and ‘15/‘16 for my Ph.D. lol…god that sounds boring. I mean chances are that wont all go according to plan, nothing ever does, but so long as im working towards it and I just end up doing what makes myself and the people around me happy then im ok. Life isn’t black and white its all different shades of color, it’s why even though im worried im not really too worried because in the end I know I’ll do whats right for everyone, or at least most everyone. *shrugs*. Ok this turned into a really long entry so I suppose I should stop and see if theres anything for me to eat…which there isn’t…so maybe I’ll just chew on a lettuce leaf, but I don’t even think I have that in my fridge. Crap. Hmmm….oh the drawbacks of not living at home ;)
Anyhoot, sorry that took so long, I guess I just had to ramble a bit. Well, I’m off to do homework, I have a 12 page paper minimum due on Friday next week and I have only had time to start on my title. Suffice it to say I have nothing done. ;) Ciao poppets! Please forgive me if I haven’t talked to any of you in such a long time, im really trying to work on my time management, which I suppose would be easier if I had this thing called time. ;) love you!
Jess
Dear freakin’ god, it’s only been forever since I updated. Currently my roommate is sleeping so im trying to type quietly which is hard to do with this keyboard, but alas im actually awake enough to update. I just got back from a play called “triangle” which the director of the play im in, is in. Now that it’s over, my own rehearsals should be picking (did I spell that right?) up. So, anyways, whats been going on with me? Well lets see…since I last updated I moved out of the house, I have five classes and a lab which are kicking my butt, but apparently not as badly as I thought. I work close to full time at Godiva, but at least the pay isn’t bad and the manager from hell is actually starting to be nice to me (which worries me a little, and by a little I mean a lot). I mean the job is actually pretty nice, I meet a lot of really interesting people, and I get to speak to a lot of customers in German since we have many international people who shop there. The perks of the job are that if you tell any one in the neighboring area you work at a fancy chocolate shop they give you free stuff in return for a truffle or two, lol. And of course you can never beat the fact that I was once given 100 dollars by a customer just so that I could eat at a five star restaurant, where I already know the owner of said restaurant so I got an open bar, free desserts, and my meal on discount; not to mention my friend Eric is still giving me back half of what I paid that night since I took out my friend Jessica for her birthday. All in all…that was a fantastic night! Lol, but honestly that’s the only spectacular thing that’s ever happened. Otherwise I deal with snooty rich people, kids who have fancier cologne and perfume than I could ever afford and get their purses from Gucci, and not to mention a butt load of work as it is since we are understaffed.
Anyhoot, other than that I don’t really have a personal life. I mean I do and I don’t. My life revolves around work and school but im lucky that I live in an upperclassmen dorm because at least I live amongst the social activities instead of being a complete hermit, but really unless the party is being held sometime after 11:00 I cant make it. I have to say im happy here though, I feel like im making good friends and I feel really at home in my dorm which I know sounds funny but I think its because the way everything is set up, and how small the apartment is it reminds me a lot of matts old apartment, and that was the one place I remember thinking I could make my home back when so I think it kind of projected itself to this place. Of course I think the fact that my roommate is amazing, and my suitmates are really nice helps a lot. I also have wonderful neighbors and an ‘across the courtyard buddy’ whom I visit often and who has helped me more than she should this semester *coughchaudroncough*.
So much has happened though I don’t even know where to begin. I have 11 classes left until I graduate; 14 altogether with my minor so I either have the choice of graduating a semester early or I could do it the smart way and just have a really calm senior year (im going for the calm) Then it’s off to grad school and I am so terrified of this. I want to go to either London, California, New York, or Boston. I mean I have to go for my Ph.D. so why not try the crazy schools? Of course there’s the chance I don’t get into any of those, but that terrifies me even more, because as much as I love psychology, what can you do with only a bachelors in psychology and minor in philosophy? I mean true I could apply at a public school system and be a councilor but even then you need to have a masters degree in order to even get a decent income. *le sigh* so much to be afraid of, but somehow I’ll make it happen. I guess I just realized that many of my plans take me far away from everything I know, and it’s not that I want to leave exactly I just realize that im tired of only talking about my dreams or goals. I’m 21 and even though in retrospect im still just a child, im also technically two semesters away from graduating. It’s weird you know? You go through your days without ever really looking back, and then one day you look at the years that have passed by and the things you’ve done and the people you have met…and even though my life for the past two years has been incredibly hectic, in a way they have also been the best because I finally decided to live for myself. I mean, I am afraid of leaving my friends and family, and I am afraid that everyone will go on with their lives and forget about me, but in the end don’t the people you have such deep connections with at this age always remain your friends, or at least in touch? I suppose it’s just a part of life, when you separate from everything but how exactly can you separate, be independent and live for yourself without severing any ties and burning any bridges? Since that’s the last thing I want to do.
Well, all I truly know is that I have certain set goals, those being the following: Get into grad school
Do the peace corps
Get my Ph.D.
Have a family
Retire and open shop.
and that’s that, those are my goals and I’ll work towards them and I will try to have as many little adventures in between but I’ll do it. And if im lucky I should have my Ph.D. by the time im 30. that gives me until ‘09 for my bachelors, ‘11 for my masters, ‘13 to get back from peace corps, and ‘15/‘16 for my Ph.D. lol…god that sounds boring. I mean chances are that wont all go according to plan, nothing ever does, but so long as im working towards it and I just end up doing what makes myself and the people around me happy then im ok. Life isn’t black and white its all different shades of color, it’s why even though im worried im not really too worried because in the end I know I’ll do whats right for everyone, or at least most everyone. *shrugs*. Ok this turned into a really long entry so I suppose I should stop and see if theres anything for me to eat…which there isn’t…so maybe I’ll just chew on a lettuce leaf, but I don’t even think I have that in my fridge. Crap. Hmmm….oh the drawbacks of not living at home ;)
Anyhoot, sorry that took so long, I guess I just had to ramble a bit. Well, I’m off to do homework, I have a 12 page paper minimum due on Friday next week and I have only had time to start on my title. Suffice it to say I have nothing done. ;) Ciao poppets! Please forgive me if I haven’t talked to any of you in such a long time, im really trying to work on my time management, which I suppose would be easier if I had this thing called time. ;) love you!
Jess