(no subject)

[mysticdancer]

I went to an art class yesterday. It was figure drawing, the figures were naked and I hung out with jodi dykhouse and andy pomidor and maggie P. It was fun... i'm SOOOOO homesick today i hate it here i want to move back. I know those two subjects don't go together but i woke up feeling like total shit and wanting to go home. And then on top of it my boyfriend is an IDIOTO!! and i'm not telling him why cause i want him to feel bad and yes i'm being a bitch but i don't care...you know what guyot is right i am a bitch and i have no problem being pissed off. Obviously i'd rather be happy but that's not gonna happen as long as i am in health foody, nevo hippie, yuppyville rich people, california. I want to be home with sara looking at here big purple toe, and hanging out with danny trying to find him a man. and in michelle's car listening to show tunes and doing shows and being jeff and beth's nanny...i really miss all the things i used to do ...ahhhh! There's really nothing anyone can do i just can't stand being so homesick. Being here is just not worth it...and i don't want to fucking talk about it...josh will just be like what's up? what's up? i know something's wrong blah blah blah but something is always wrong i'm not in a good mood ever just get over it and stop being dumb and forgetting things and being a stupid boy! He came over today after his stupid saturday morning lacrosse practice, and i just happend to be in the shower and he comes to tell me he is going rock climbing with guyot...what the fuck does he want a medel? why tell me? why the fuck do i want to know don't come over to my house and make me get out of the shower soaking wet to tell me you are going rock climbing...it dosn't concern me so why does it matter to me???!?!?!!??! I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER I DON"T NEED TO KNOW WHERE YOU ARE EVERY FUCKING SECOND AND I ESPECIALLY DON'T WANT THAT LITTLE MESSAGE TOLD TO ME WHEN YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN SOMETHING THAT YOU SAID YOU'D DO AND ARE COMPLETELY BREAKING OFF PLANS AND ACTING LIKE IT"S PERFECTLY OK AND I'M IN A SHITTY MOOOOODDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you know i don't mind sitting around alone in the house with my crazy mother at all. but w/e It's not like i could have made plans today had i known you were gonna be a stupid boy and break off the plans we had already made...actually YES I COULD HAVE MADE PLANS ASSHOLE! I am so just pissed off like GRRR. It's not even that big a deal but it just makes me SOOO mad cause now i am going to be sitting around on a saturday doing nothing and i don't just make plans on a whim. I DON'T DO STUFF LIKE THAT, THAT'S NOT HOW MY LIFE WORKS I PLLAAAANNNN! to do shit...o now he's calling me well i don't care! AHHHHRRRGGG i don't even know why i am so mad i just am soo fucking pissed off. god damnit...and then he wants me to go out to curry with his family tonight...he's such a dumb ass! like why would i be in the mood for that...GOD! i'm not even making sense i don't even know why i am so mad i just ggrrr
like i can't stand this fucking place and being trapped all the time. I am just not in the mood for faking like everythings ok in front of josh's family...they don't even like me!