[EQ fic] Letting Go
Yes, it did take me over a month to finally get back to this. /sigh. Life has been hectic and that has been its only consistency. I've been made a class consul for my guild in WoW, so I'm sort of responsible for the druids in the raid. And because of that, I've been playing a lot more, which has been fun but also stressful (leadership always is). I've also been playing my warlock, Syrce, a lot more because it's fun and PvP with her is a blast. And so in the course of that, my mind wandered back to a story I'd started a while back.
The character, for reference, is named Syrce Raindrops because in-game I was always getting rained on. I spun it off saying that Syrce had angered the rain god Karana by assuming he was a girl (which I really did for a while :P). And the beat goes on, as it were.
This is Syrce as drawn by the lovely DragonSnail (and the image used in this icon):
The bloody fisted guy floating in the background is her epic pet, named 'Dozer. He was the accomplishment I was most proud of in EQ, since it was a bitch and a half to get done and took an entire guild and more than a year of effort to get there. So he just HAD to be present in the picture :). Anyway, that's Syrce.
And the story of her journey out of EverQuest begins here.
She settled gently on the ground, looking at the green grass that surrounded her on three sides. There was a tang of salt in the air from the ocean to the west, beyond the city behind her. She grew up near the ocean in a city so much more beautiful than this, its stone columns and walkways so white they shone, its pristine appearance saved from severity by the gracefully curving vines crawling throughout the city and the serene blue pools that dotted its paths.
At the time, she thought saying goodbye to that place and finding her way to this one was the hardest thing she would ever have to do. It wasn't. Leaving this city, its rough-hewn stone and ragged edges that were nothing beautiful to behold, yet still all too dear, leaving this world, that was the hardest.
She looked out over the grasslands, barely able to see the hills rising in the distance. There were youngsters out there still, just a few. She could see them battling gnolls, snakes and rats as if their lives depended on it. They did, of course, but it seemed quaint with some distance from the situation. Perspective really was everything.
Looking down, she ran her hands through the soft grass. It wasn't this way everywhere. The grass in the Karanas tended to be patchy, while that in the Common Lands was large and brittle, unable to adequately withstand the extremes of temperature that often plagued that land. And just north of here, where her best friend came from, there was no grass at all. Just the vastness of snowy white, only broken by the occasional patch of brownest rock.
Leaning on one hand, she pulled a handful of the grass from the ground, just the tops of the plants. The earth underneath would need what protection it could get come winter. She held the green stems in front of her eyes and slowly let them fall. Time, sand, broken bits of light; the grass reminded her of them all as it fluttered down.
She remembered being slightly skittish when she got off the boat in Qeynos. Some people were less than charitable to Erudite adventurers before they made a name for themselves. Merchants may have been crass, but the other adventurers seemed more than willing to chat and be friendly.
Then came Grimmsoar, a raucous barbarian with more stubbornness than sense. Then Reede, who had the best damned fashion sense of any straight man she knew. A myriad of others, Jowfus, Thrace, Thracia, friends from her first guild, the true guild of her heart, and many, many more. Somehow letting go of so much seemed such a simple thing when so many had gone on already. The memories ached in her chest for a return to those times so much better than the present. Dragon raids, elf raids, raids on enemy cities. Getting married in a pristine white gown surrounded by more friends than she could rightly count. That was a memory she would never forget, made memorable by the friends that participated. Especially Thrace. The man could turn a wicked phrase.
The world seemed small, now. It fit on the back of her hand, on the inside of her eyelids. It had once been so massive. But it was being left behind by those going to the moon, to the outer planes that once seemed so gloriously far away. She had joined them, off to see the next step. What came next...wasn't as great as what she had found before.
So she returned to the world via the plane of travel, a more apt name than Plane of Knowledge, and wandered a bit. Visited old friends in long-forgotten realms. Saw the snow, the giants, the plains. It was simple and heartwarming and then once she saw Erudin again, it hit her. She was leaving and there was only one place left to go. Home.
Her drog, gleaming blue white like the walls of her birthplace, munched on the grass and small trees near the gates of Qeynos. She could hear the guards calling to one another from the wall behind her. Fippy Darkpaw sounded his attack call and raced down the road. She raised a hand casually in greeting, confounding the poor creature long enough for the guards to put a handy end to him.
'Is there anything you need, mistress?' 'Dozer asked her silently from where he hovered some distance away. Open spaces tended to bother him, made him feel like he was drifting away. And he could always sense a change in her mood. It was part of their uncanny connection.
'No,' she sent back, shaking her head slightly. 'I am simply enjoying something lovely: a peaceful, clear autumn day.'
Her head firmly back in the present, she picked up the gold, glowing half staff at her side. It was never far from her. It had never been far from her thoughts except in her youngest days. The gemstones winked at her brilliantly, their glow following them. The orb in the center, held there by the stones, was likewise twinkling. Experimentally, she swung it through the air in front of her. Still the same sparkle as when she first summoned it forth. If only she, herself, still had that sparkle.
'There is something I need of you, 'Dozer,' she said quickly in her head.
Immediately, the elemental swept towards her, dispersing somewhat to seek her eye level. 'How may I be of assistance, mistress?' he asked.
'I think I have made a very important discovery,' she said to him, looking at the staff in her hands. 'I believe I know why Magi'kot was unable to transcend the knowledge and capture you.'
'Why is that, mistress?' 'Dozer asked, only mildly interested. He had always sensed that the first mage who came to master the Orb was interested only in his abilities as a subject of study. His mistress had always been eager to test his mettle in battle, which was more to his liking.
She carefully slipped the golden gem from its place on the staff's edge. 'It is because he viewed you as a permanent fixture,' she replied, plucking the ruby gem from its setting. 'He did not realize that all things in this world are ephemeral at best,' and the emerald fell into her palm. 'He thought he could keep you always. But somewhere in my heart, I knew that you would one day be returned to where you belong. To the earth, the clouds, the sea and the flame.' She plucked out the sapphire and the orb in the center began to ascend skyward.
'I don't understand, mistress,' 'Dozer replied in a panic. 'What have I done to displease you?' He didn't understand why she would send him away. He could feel himself dissipating. He would be incorporeal soon, unable to affect the world as he had for so long under her care.
'You have never displeased me, 'Dozer,' she said, running a hand through his misty form. 'But now I must go and I will not leave you tied to me while I wander elsewhere. There will be another to bind you, eventually.'
'Never another,' he said, his voice wispy now, even in her mind.
'I cannot make you understand, but I would ask you not to be unhappy. This will make you stronger. All adversity does.'
'Never another like you. But regardless, I will always remember you, mistress,' 'Dozer said, his last words.
"And I will never forget you," she said, softly, her first words aloud. "If I -" she faltered. "If you can still hear me, know this: I will keep these four stones and if I should return I will rebind you and take you from whoever your master is, by force if necessary. Especially if it's some dirty elf."
She heard nothing but the wind, which seemed to sigh in approval. She didn't look for forgiveness, just wished for it.
Standing, she wiped the grass from her hands and clothes and pocketed the four gems. The staff didn't sparkle.
There were several adventurers nearby, the same ones she had seen earlier. Cupping her hands around her mouth, she yelled, "Giving away newbie weapons and armor. Free summoned food. Look for the blue mage by the front gates!"
Wandering towards the guards, she settled on the warm cobblestones that began the streets of greater Qeynos. Time passed and she called again. No one came and those that were near her looked at her oddly when she offered summoned items.
"There are no more newbies," she said quietly, sadly to herself, walking back to her drog. "And there is nothing new here."
"I wonder what it will cost to stable you indefinitely," she asked the leathery-skinned animal, running her hand along his flank. "I bet they don't even have prices for that. I suppose I'll start out with just two weeks, or at least that's what I'll tell the stabler. I just... " she looked out at the blue, blue horizon. "I know there's something else out there, something..."
The character, for reference, is named Syrce Raindrops because in-game I was always getting rained on. I spun it off saying that Syrce had angered the rain god Karana by assuming he was a girl (which I really did for a while :P). And the beat goes on, as it were.
This is Syrce as drawn by the lovely DragonSnail (and the image used in this icon):
The bloody fisted guy floating in the background is her epic pet, named 'Dozer. He was the accomplishment I was most proud of in EQ, since it was a bitch and a half to get done and took an entire guild and more than a year of effort to get there. So he just HAD to be present in the picture :). Anyway, that's Syrce.
And the story of her journey out of EverQuest begins here.
She settled gently on the ground, looking at the green grass that surrounded her on three sides. There was a tang of salt in the air from the ocean to the west, beyond the city behind her. She grew up near the ocean in a city so much more beautiful than this, its stone columns and walkways so white they shone, its pristine appearance saved from severity by the gracefully curving vines crawling throughout the city and the serene blue pools that dotted its paths.
At the time, she thought saying goodbye to that place and finding her way to this one was the hardest thing she would ever have to do. It wasn't. Leaving this city, its rough-hewn stone and ragged edges that were nothing beautiful to behold, yet still all too dear, leaving this world, that was the hardest.
She looked out over the grasslands, barely able to see the hills rising in the distance. There were youngsters out there still, just a few. She could see them battling gnolls, snakes and rats as if their lives depended on it. They did, of course, but it seemed quaint with some distance from the situation. Perspective really was everything.
Looking down, she ran her hands through the soft grass. It wasn't this way everywhere. The grass in the Karanas tended to be patchy, while that in the Common Lands was large and brittle, unable to adequately withstand the extremes of temperature that often plagued that land. And just north of here, where her best friend came from, there was no grass at all. Just the vastness of snowy white, only broken by the occasional patch of brownest rock.
Leaning on one hand, she pulled a handful of the grass from the ground, just the tops of the plants. The earth underneath would need what protection it could get come winter. She held the green stems in front of her eyes and slowly let them fall. Time, sand, broken bits of light; the grass reminded her of them all as it fluttered down.
She remembered being slightly skittish when she got off the boat in Qeynos. Some people were less than charitable to Erudite adventurers before they made a name for themselves. Merchants may have been crass, but the other adventurers seemed more than willing to chat and be friendly.
Then came Grimmsoar, a raucous barbarian with more stubbornness than sense. Then Reede, who had the best damned fashion sense of any straight man she knew. A myriad of others, Jowfus, Thrace, Thracia, friends from her first guild, the true guild of her heart, and many, many more. Somehow letting go of so much seemed such a simple thing when so many had gone on already. The memories ached in her chest for a return to those times so much better than the present. Dragon raids, elf raids, raids on enemy cities. Getting married in a pristine white gown surrounded by more friends than she could rightly count. That was a memory she would never forget, made memorable by the friends that participated. Especially Thrace. The man could turn a wicked phrase.
The world seemed small, now. It fit on the back of her hand, on the inside of her eyelids. It had once been so massive. But it was being left behind by those going to the moon, to the outer planes that once seemed so gloriously far away. She had joined them, off to see the next step. What came next...wasn't as great as what she had found before.
So she returned to the world via the plane of travel, a more apt name than Plane of Knowledge, and wandered a bit. Visited old friends in long-forgotten realms. Saw the snow, the giants, the plains. It was simple and heartwarming and then once she saw Erudin again, it hit her. She was leaving and there was only one place left to go. Home.
Her drog, gleaming blue white like the walls of her birthplace, munched on the grass and small trees near the gates of Qeynos. She could hear the guards calling to one another from the wall behind her. Fippy Darkpaw sounded his attack call and raced down the road. She raised a hand casually in greeting, confounding the poor creature long enough for the guards to put a handy end to him.
'Is there anything you need, mistress?' 'Dozer asked her silently from where he hovered some distance away. Open spaces tended to bother him, made him feel like he was drifting away. And he could always sense a change in her mood. It was part of their uncanny connection.
'No,' she sent back, shaking her head slightly. 'I am simply enjoying something lovely: a peaceful, clear autumn day.'
Her head firmly back in the present, she picked up the gold, glowing half staff at her side. It was never far from her. It had never been far from her thoughts except in her youngest days. The gemstones winked at her brilliantly, their glow following them. The orb in the center, held there by the stones, was likewise twinkling. Experimentally, she swung it through the air in front of her. Still the same sparkle as when she first summoned it forth. If only she, herself, still had that sparkle.
'There is something I need of you, 'Dozer,' she said quickly in her head.
Immediately, the elemental swept towards her, dispersing somewhat to seek her eye level. 'How may I be of assistance, mistress?' he asked.
'I think I have made a very important discovery,' she said to him, looking at the staff in her hands. 'I believe I know why Magi'kot was unable to transcend the knowledge and capture you.'
'Why is that, mistress?' 'Dozer asked, only mildly interested. He had always sensed that the first mage who came to master the Orb was interested only in his abilities as a subject of study. His mistress had always been eager to test his mettle in battle, which was more to his liking.
She carefully slipped the golden gem from its place on the staff's edge. 'It is because he viewed you as a permanent fixture,' she replied, plucking the ruby gem from its setting. 'He did not realize that all things in this world are ephemeral at best,' and the emerald fell into her palm. 'He thought he could keep you always. But somewhere in my heart, I knew that you would one day be returned to where you belong. To the earth, the clouds, the sea and the flame.' She plucked out the sapphire and the orb in the center began to ascend skyward.
'I don't understand, mistress,' 'Dozer replied in a panic. 'What have I done to displease you?' He didn't understand why she would send him away. He could feel himself dissipating. He would be incorporeal soon, unable to affect the world as he had for so long under her care.
'You have never displeased me, 'Dozer,' she said, running a hand through his misty form. 'But now I must go and I will not leave you tied to me while I wander elsewhere. There will be another to bind you, eventually.'
'Never another,' he said, his voice wispy now, even in her mind.
'I cannot make you understand, but I would ask you not to be unhappy. This will make you stronger. All adversity does.'
'Never another like you. But regardless, I will always remember you, mistress,' 'Dozer said, his last words.
"And I will never forget you," she said, softly, her first words aloud. "If I -" she faltered. "If you can still hear me, know this: I will keep these four stones and if I should return I will rebind you and take you from whoever your master is, by force if necessary. Especially if it's some dirty elf."
She heard nothing but the wind, which seemed to sigh in approval. She didn't look for forgiveness, just wished for it.
Standing, she wiped the grass from her hands and clothes and pocketed the four gems. The staff didn't sparkle.
There were several adventurers nearby, the same ones she had seen earlier. Cupping her hands around her mouth, she yelled, "Giving away newbie weapons and armor. Free summoned food. Look for the blue mage by the front gates!"
Wandering towards the guards, she settled on the warm cobblestones that began the streets of greater Qeynos. Time passed and she called again. No one came and those that were near her looked at her oddly when she offered summoned items.
"There are no more newbies," she said quietly, sadly to herself, walking back to her drog. "And there is nothing new here."
"I wonder what it will cost to stable you indefinitely," she asked the leathery-skinned animal, running her hand along his flank. "I bet they don't even have prices for that. I suppose I'll start out with just two weeks, or at least that's what I'll tell the stabler. I just... " she looked out at the blue, blue horizon. "I know there's something else out there, something..."