(no subject)
So i'm caught in a cage and i don't know how to get myself out.
Maybe i should go back to my psychologist and tell her this but it's not even a really tangible feeling.
I just have this... out of control feeling. I feel out of control of my emotions, like any moment i'm going to fall into a fit of tears... which i have almost done a number of times today due to things as random as a song i like ending... or hearing the song "Belle" from Beauty and the Beast and remembering when i used to relate so closely to her.
Maybe i'm just tired.
Maybe i'm just lonely.
Maybe i'm just over everything and everyone, maybe it's a carry over from not hearing from one of my best friend's on my birthday for the second year running. I buy her presents, send her a text while i'm overseas, making sure i send it the right day for the time difference... and i don't even get a facebook message.
Great friend huh?
Yeah my life seems to be going swimmingly right now. I had two friends, read that? TWO.
One is now living over 6 hours away and the other only contacts me when she can be bothered/wants something.
Fuck them, i don't need them. I have my fanfiction and my DVD's and my DS games. I don't need ANYONE.
I'm sick of playing caterer to everyone, friendship should go two ways and i'm sick of always getting the short end of the stick. I don't care if i'm alone anymore. It's better than feeling like you're only there because they're bored.
Yeah... it's not like i ever see them anyway...
Yeah... i'll be just fine... as always.
Maybe i should go back to my psychologist and tell her this but it's not even a really tangible feeling.
I just have this... out of control feeling. I feel out of control of my emotions, like any moment i'm going to fall into a fit of tears... which i have almost done a number of times today due to things as random as a song i like ending... or hearing the song "Belle" from Beauty and the Beast and remembering when i used to relate so closely to her.
Maybe i'm just tired.
Maybe i'm just lonely.
Maybe i'm just over everything and everyone, maybe it's a carry over from not hearing from one of my best friend's on my birthday for the second year running. I buy her presents, send her a text while i'm overseas, making sure i send it the right day for the time difference... and i don't even get a facebook message.
Great friend huh?
Yeah my life seems to be going swimmingly right now. I had two friends, read that? TWO.
One is now living over 6 hours away and the other only contacts me when she can be bothered/wants something.
Fuck them, i don't need them. I have my fanfiction and my DVD's and my DS games. I don't need ANYONE.
I'm sick of playing caterer to everyone, friendship should go two ways and i'm sick of always getting the short end of the stick. I don't care if i'm alone anymore. It's better than feeling like you're only there because they're bored.
Yeah... it's not like i ever see them anyway...
Yeah... i'll be just fine... as always.