Ooookaaay....
Sometimes... i think i bring these situations on myself.
I open my mouth without thinking, say something that to me seems completely innocent and someone else takes what i've said and... maybe i should explain...
Near where i work there's a cafe where i get my coffee every morning. It's close, convenient, their coffee's good, and they deliver! On a ( Read more... )
I open my mouth without thinking, say something that to me seems completely innocent and someone else takes what i've said and... maybe i should explain...
Near where i work there's a cafe where i get my coffee every morning. It's close, convenient, their coffee's good, and they deliver! On a ( Read more... )
I used to always feel like you say you do, that i had so much to give but that nobody saw me that way... that if somebody could just open their eyes and see me and reach out to me that i could show them how i really am and not just how i portray myself... but i've found that with every year that passes i grow more afraid of actually taking that step and laying myself bare... every opportunity that comes up i step back and proclaim that i don't need or want it...
I'll admit that... on some level i would love to have someone there... but like you mentioned the only propositions i seem to get are by odd people. The guy i've mentioned above has (from what i've gleaned) just left a long term relationship and i think he's trying to find a rebound.
Maybe i've spent too long convincing myself i'm fine alone that i don't how NOT to be alone...
Hopefully you'll better luck soon (surely there's got to be some kind of clued in guys near you... what are they all dumb and creepy?)
And yes... i definitely do understand. =P
(Wow... essay reply, soz :S)
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I reckon its worth taking the chances. I have a small criteria list for guys to decide whether asking them out is a good idea. If im not in constant contact with them and there's a rejection, then thats acceptable. If they're really good friends, im more likely to probe and be a lot more hesitant to ask. I mean i asked out a dude, went on a date and he turned out to be a total loser who either had no clue or only wanted one thing. I still see him, its not that awkward, but he's dropped off my prospects list. I reckon its worth at least one date with the coffee guy if he's a normal person, if he's a bit strange, then do say no. The less you have to lose, the more worth a shot it is XD but weirdos are weird, do not want.
But on the side of staying single, every time i lament my boyfriendlessness people say 'oh you so dont want one'. That actually annoys me cause well YEA they had the experience, good and bad, but at least they got to snog some! I wouldn't mind some of that thanks, isn't that supposed to be part of life? going through that relationship slag? I feel like im missing a vital education, even if it is painful.
But then the more i think about it the more my naivety becomes clear to me. I was SO FUCK NERVOUS when i got my first feel up, and then it was a massive let down cause he was a loser and didn't even bother to try and kiss which is why i ditched him straight off. But it made me wonder if i would be shit at keeping up a relationship, cause it needs effort, and i know what i'm like even with my friends... i don't make enough effort to even see them, so can i afford to have a relationship? i just dont know. Im starting to think i should be careful what i wish for :/
(haha, dont worry about essays, im a gemini, every conversation with me is a series of essays XD)
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In a way my area is the same, i'm about an hour north of Sydney (i live on the Central Coast) and where i work... is a complete hole... and most of the guys are deadbeat dole-bludger alcoholics... or foreign (no offense foreign people that still don't speak English -hint-hint-).
Go a little further and everyone's a surfy and 'soooo much cooler than everyone else'... and probably have more sand between their ears than brains.
The coffee shop guy is weird. It's become more apparent in the last few days and i'm not just saying that because i freaked out. =P
His behaviour completely changed... and became rather creepy. The place he wanted to go was right down the road from where he lives and he pretty much expected me to make all the effort (which translated to me as him being a loser).
It's a shame things aren't as cut and dry as the movies... half of our issues wouldn't be so apparent then. I swing from wanting love to scorning love and back again, and i have a bad habit of 'open mouth insert foot'.
I'm with you on the 'at least you have experience' stuff... and i think that might be part of the reason i go on about not wanting someone... i have a bad habit of molding myself to suit other people. (Note to self- stop doing that)
I think (from what i've heard anyway since i'm about as experienced as you apparently) that relationships are different from friendships. There's a different connection, so even if you're lazy when it comes to friends, you won't necessarily be lazy when it comes to a guy.
It's a different emotion and i'm gathering a different set of behaviours that come into play. They do say that you jump through hoops when you're in love, so either you become really flexible and athletic or your brain becomes so fixated that you'll do anything to be with them.
Either way, i think you'd do just fine in a relationship and are being far too hard on yourself. You're a (from what i've seen =P) nice person and clearly have a great sense of humour, you're talented and have a wide range of interests... i suppose the only issue now is to find someone who isn't a complete loser who sees what all your friends no doubt see (and more).
... Did that make sense?
(I'm a Capricorn so if you don't get my humour it's because there is none. XD)
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