some insights
I have been listening a bit to Caroline Myss. She is one of the few teachers classified as 'new age' (I doubt she sees herself that way) who I really appreciate. In fact, I would say that she is actually a spiritual guide for me, in fact. Just listening to her has given me a bit of an electrical jolt forward.
I find myself standing in front of the mirror and asking whether I am or am not going to remain in the academy and whether I am going to, therefore, focus on publication which, at this point of my career, is essential. I realize that my heart still is in that process and the challenge of the sort of disciplined creativity that a scholarly path is. At the same time, there is a part of me that wants to go in other directions, but part of that feeling is really about acknowledging that my soul does remind me at times that I cannot become so wed to my identity as an academic or to the notion that working in a university (especially in this particular form) is the only thing I can do in life. There are other ways (including more teaching focused ways) that I can make money if I need to. I want to keep that in mind. If I don't remember that, then I will start doing what should be a very positive project in life into something that I am compelled to do, while gritting my teeth. Many people would be elated to ahve the chance to do what I do.
Also, while watching another one of her videos, I was thinking about what she says about valuing our work in such a way that we grow in confidence. Doing our work well is parallel to feeling an inner strength that others cannot easily take away from us. I can, to some degree, resonate with that.
I find myself standing in front of the mirror and asking whether I am or am not going to remain in the academy and whether I am going to, therefore, focus on publication which, at this point of my career, is essential. I realize that my heart still is in that process and the challenge of the sort of disciplined creativity that a scholarly path is. At the same time, there is a part of me that wants to go in other directions, but part of that feeling is really about acknowledging that my soul does remind me at times that I cannot become so wed to my identity as an academic or to the notion that working in a university (especially in this particular form) is the only thing I can do in life. There are other ways (including more teaching focused ways) that I can make money if I need to. I want to keep that in mind. If I don't remember that, then I will start doing what should be a very positive project in life into something that I am compelled to do, while gritting my teeth. Many people would be elated to ahve the chance to do what I do.
Also, while watching another one of her videos, I was thinking about what she says about valuing our work in such a way that we grow in confidence. Doing our work well is parallel to feeling an inner strength that others cannot easily take away from us. I can, to some degree, resonate with that.