briefly, maybe deeply
I want to record briefly, before going to bed, some things:
One is that I had an intense reaction ("emotional" reaction doesn't seem to really do service to what happened) to this video:
http://phyllisophy.com/dedicated-to-gabrielle-roth/
I wouldnt say that Gabrielle Roth (who developed the 5 rythms dance) says anything so radically unfamiliar to me in this video. Perhaps the issue is more her presence/transmission. But, after having posted some fairly cynical stuff about people who are obsessed with "living their dream" to the point of dogmatically insisting that you only a do a job that you love, I had an odd experience: Yes I stand by the idea that the love what you do school of thought has a certain unconscious classism to it and hasn't been unpacked well enough. At the same time, there must be meaning in life and work, even if the meaning is that you seel shoes to care for your family and feed yourself, so as to grow in your human form and serve those close to you. And I always hope that everyone can have the opportunit to do work that they enjoy, but not in the sense advocated by many new age type characters that I come across.
But while I was listening to Gabrielle Roth I couldnt helped being seized by the urgency of what she communicates in terms of her own direct experience. I found myself asking if what I am spending my life on is not more obsession with security rather than meaning. By that, again, I don't mean that my ideal is simply to "do what I want" but whether I am choosing (including possible choices like potentially hard jobs...they are not excluded from the options) in a way that is tangential to my deeper intention. What do I mean by that? Well, in contrast, with the "do what you love" philosophy, I am willing to do work that is not a personal passion as such, if it serves a greater purpose, but that would be chosen from a sense of the greater overall picture of my life. I am concerned that I have lost a sense of that purpose and somehow with an overwhelming sensation connected to this, I found myself crying while watching Ms. Roth.
Disclaimer: Much as this is an authentic sharing, there are also moments in which I think I am far too concerned with myself and having children and a family, or a loved one to care for would take the edge off some of that. This was an authentic moment for reflection, but not all the concern for myself that I experience seems so very justified, sometimes, I feel...But that is another topic.
I am also meditating on a dream I recently had, which makes me wonder if I shouldnt be refocusing on the theme of collective-family-community-ancestor healing, i.e. advanced levels of healing that transcend the personal. I have read a few books on this and participated in spritual practices that are focused on shifting traumas in family groups, including ancestors and also collective problems like old unresolved karmas and splits in the human community. Two days ago I had a strange dream connected to this: I saw a woman who reminded me of a young Sufi woman who died about a year and a haf ago here in istanbul. I saw her in a white gown of some kind (informal, like a sleeping gown from the 19th century, nothing especially ethereal looking). I saw a group of plants, somewhat bushy with green leaves in rich earth. I heard a voice saying "now that you have learned this, you must apply it to the next level of the land, where the bones are". Somehow I understood that this was about a healing process that had to go "into the land", into the collective of a place. In the dream, the place appeared to be Argentina (a place that, like Turkey, I associate with unresolved social trauma, although I would say that the Argentinians are a bt further along, and have more trauma to deal with, possibly). Then I saw a woman who closely resembles a friend of my mother from my childhood. She looked very beautiful. She started to describe some strange event with a policeman that sounded like a type of sexual assault, spoken of somewhat indirectly. From this I ahve a sense of a healing of something feminine, earthy and perhaps connected to collective wounding. I will stay tuned to that.
Peace. Hu.
R
PS: A Serbian folk song about leaving practicalities behind to dance...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qyeaa28xotE
One is that I had an intense reaction ("emotional" reaction doesn't seem to really do service to what happened) to this video:
http://phyllisophy.com/dedicated-to-gabrielle-roth/
I wouldnt say that Gabrielle Roth (who developed the 5 rythms dance) says anything so radically unfamiliar to me in this video. Perhaps the issue is more her presence/transmission. But, after having posted some fairly cynical stuff about people who are obsessed with "living their dream" to the point of dogmatically insisting that you only a do a job that you love, I had an odd experience: Yes I stand by the idea that the love what you do school of thought has a certain unconscious classism to it and hasn't been unpacked well enough. At the same time, there must be meaning in life and work, even if the meaning is that you seel shoes to care for your family and feed yourself, so as to grow in your human form and serve those close to you. And I always hope that everyone can have the opportunit to do work that they enjoy, but not in the sense advocated by many new age type characters that I come across.
But while I was listening to Gabrielle Roth I couldnt helped being seized by the urgency of what she communicates in terms of her own direct experience. I found myself asking if what I am spending my life on is not more obsession with security rather than meaning. By that, again, I don't mean that my ideal is simply to "do what I want" but whether I am choosing (including possible choices like potentially hard jobs...they are not excluded from the options) in a way that is tangential to my deeper intention. What do I mean by that? Well, in contrast, with the "do what you love" philosophy, I am willing to do work that is not a personal passion as such, if it serves a greater purpose, but that would be chosen from a sense of the greater overall picture of my life. I am concerned that I have lost a sense of that purpose and somehow with an overwhelming sensation connected to this, I found myself crying while watching Ms. Roth.
Disclaimer: Much as this is an authentic sharing, there are also moments in which I think I am far too concerned with myself and having children and a family, or a loved one to care for would take the edge off some of that. This was an authentic moment for reflection, but not all the concern for myself that I experience seems so very justified, sometimes, I feel...But that is another topic.
I am also meditating on a dream I recently had, which makes me wonder if I shouldnt be refocusing on the theme of collective-family-community-ancestor healing, i.e. advanced levels of healing that transcend the personal. I have read a few books on this and participated in spritual practices that are focused on shifting traumas in family groups, including ancestors and also collective problems like old unresolved karmas and splits in the human community. Two days ago I had a strange dream connected to this: I saw a woman who reminded me of a young Sufi woman who died about a year and a haf ago here in istanbul. I saw her in a white gown of some kind (informal, like a sleeping gown from the 19th century, nothing especially ethereal looking). I saw a group of plants, somewhat bushy with green leaves in rich earth. I heard a voice saying "now that you have learned this, you must apply it to the next level of the land, where the bones are". Somehow I understood that this was about a healing process that had to go "into the land", into the collective of a place. In the dream, the place appeared to be Argentina (a place that, like Turkey, I associate with unresolved social trauma, although I would say that the Argentinians are a bt further along, and have more trauma to deal with, possibly). Then I saw a woman who closely resembles a friend of my mother from my childhood. She looked very beautiful. She started to describe some strange event with a policeman that sounded like a type of sexual assault, spoken of somewhat indirectly. From this I ahve a sense of a healing of something feminine, earthy and perhaps connected to collective wounding. I will stay tuned to that.
Peace. Hu.
R
PS: A Serbian folk song about leaving practicalities behind to dance...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qyeaa28xotE
Click to view